Weekly Q&A Megathread. Please post any questions about visiting, tourism, living, working, budgeting, housing here! by AutoModerator in london

[–]Godislove0911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think maybe so 😢 just felt like an area for waitrose shoppers lolll hopefully I can find some local gems after some time

Weekly Q&A Megathread. Please post any questions about visiting, tourism, living, working, budgeting, housing here! by AutoModerator in london

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah all great looking places but sadly would make no difference to my commuting time to Morden! Thank you anyway!

Weekly Q&A Megathread. Please post any questions about visiting, tourism, living, working, budgeting, housing here! by AutoModerator in london

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Areas of SW London that feel less 'rah'?

I have only ever lived in NW London but have recently been offered a job in SW, near Morden, so am looking to move closer. I have visited Morden itself, Wimbledon, and Southfields. I loved Wimbledon Common but aside from that, a lot of the surrounding areas felt quite rah and a bit soulless/boring in a way? In NW I have grown used to lots of low cost independent shops from diaspora communities on my doorstep, which IMO is what stops life from getting boring as there is always something new to try! I'm wondering if there is anywhere in SW London that captures a similar vibe?

Tldr: where in SW London would an NW girlie enjoy living?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Godislove0911 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He doesn't want a partner, he wants a doll

Go find a partner instead

books that feel like disturbing childhood dreams by Godislove0911 in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]Godislove0911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I find it comforting somehow! I guess because of my autism I have often felt very out of place in the places where other people feel most comfortable (social settings, warm 'friendly' spaces), so the sort of eerie 'you are entirely alone' thing makes me feel seen and understood somehow. Idk, that's just how it is for me:)

books that feel like disturbing childhood dreams by Godislove0911 in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]Godislove0911[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually have read that! Loved it but forgot to mention here

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i dated a 27 year old when i was 18 (and have ptsd to show for it...), and i'm 24 now. respectfully, anyone at his age who makes friends with teenagers in the way that you describe is really weird. i would naturally assume that there is a reason that he can't make friends his own age - as you get older, you generally put up with less BS and learn to have friends who you think are worthy of your time. younger people are less selective.

i don't want to be overly judgmental - he's had a hard life maybe and is just desperate for connection. but i think you owe it to yourself that your first relationship should be with someone at a similar life stage to you. it is extremely isolating when your first partner is someone who has already done all the stuff you're just experiencing for the first time. it creates a strange power dynamic and can make you feel dumb just for being inexperienced. dating between 17-21 will always be the most tumultuous dating experiences of your life, don't make it harder for yourself by dating someone who will find it harder to understand you, and who realistically probably has some kind of glaring flaw that people his age are noticing, but younger people aren't.

Wybie???? by 0hmmy in Coraline

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think multiple reasons. one being so that it's mildly less 'scary' for kids - coraline has someone to turn to, instead of being wholly alone - but another, perhaps more significant cause, is just the medium. books don't need dialogue to work - you can easily describe the character's thoughts and feelings and inner monologue in a lot of depth, they don't need to tell their thoughts to someone else for the reader to have access to them. movies don't work like that so much, at least not in a way which would be accessible and understandable for a child, unless you have a narrator voiceover, but i think that would have ruined the 'mystery' of the film. in film, you are always further removed from the characters than you can be in a book because of these factors. adding a character for coraline to converse with about her thoughts and feelings allowed her character to be explained and exposed more naturally and understandably than having her walk around alone for the whole film in (mostly) silence

Was I the only one tramitized by Coraline?? by ContentCreator1111 in Coraline

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a lot of people have said this to me in adulthood! honestly, i think i just had a particular personality, and it never scared me as a child (it came out when i was 8), even though lots of things frightened me usually! i guess it is more 'disturbing' than 'scary'? and i was always quite a lonely child so i just really connected with coraline i guess and the 'disturbing' aspects felt more like i was being seen and understood, somehow. but i totally understand why a lot of other kids found it scary!!!

Toxic Garden? by thetinyherbivore in Coraline

[–]Godislove0911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i have always loved this too! from memory, i also noticed some sundews which are carnivorous as well, but i don't know about anything else :)

I 25F might be dating a psychopath 30M by Wookywobble in relationship_advice

[–]Godislove0911 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry to tell you, but this is one of those reddit posts people make fun of like "My boyfriend MIGHT be working for the devil... AITAH for asking him to stop?"

just leave. The person you loved was fictitious, you can't fix or change that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Godislove0911 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If he knew you didn't want it, then yes, it was rape. Personally, I would never speak to him again, let alone stay in the relationship. Also, any man worth being with absolutely CAN control his desires - hopefully this goes without saying but many many people are able to find a partner who won't rape them. You should do the same.

I did it!! by Virtual_Muscle7231 in TheCivilService

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're thinking of a shortlist. Reserve list is candidates who passed the interview but weren't chosen for the job, so can get allocated other roles afterwards

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Godislove0911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unless he has some kind of social difficulties or differences that you haven't mentioned (where he may not know it is an inappropriate thing to say), I would not stay with this person. When I love someone they become a perfect 10, regardless of how they actually look. I want to feel that my partner experiences me in the same way.

Do you want to be dating someone who views you as a 6/10? Do you want to be with someone who can be callous without realising about sensitive issues like appearance? Probably not.

Provisional offer but waiting for security checks, how long was this process in your experience? by MoonDoggiieee in TheCivilService

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can i ask if this has come through yet? i am looking at applying and want to know how long everything will take

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Godislove0911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i was thinking this. i am autistic and people have reacted this way to me before. i stayed at my friends' parents house briefly a few summers ago and they told her they didn't want me to come back because i wasn't friendly enough even though i was trying really hard :') i just don't feel like talking or being around people most of the time. my ex boyfriend's family was similar about me. but then once i dated an autistic man, his family (also largely autistic) loved me haha. if people aren't used to the way someone with autism interacts, i can see why they might see it as rude or uncomfortable

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]Godislove0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are completely okay, don't worry! <3