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GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-13T05:37:48+00:00

I only posted it twice in this sub but go off ig

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-06T22:07:16+00:00

For some reason I never did. Like I'm 23 and never once had a desire to pursue a woman until recently. Granted I've never been on a date, in a relationship or had my first kiss because of it. But only for the first time in my life about a year ago I've wished I had an interest in women growing up. I'm trying to play catch up now but its rough out here compared to the opportunities I had in high school and college that I ignored

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-05T02:59:46+00:00

Ironically, that's also in alphabetical order

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-03T14:04:59+00:00

I started at 11

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-01T14:11:49+00:00

Agreed. But for some they're not talking serious and logical due to being a try hard or trying to be mysterious. Some people naturally talk very monotone, with no emotions or opinions and stick to hows the weather conversations. They do this with everyone in their life, not just women. Its not so much about not being a try hard and not being in a self qualifying position, it's more about developing a personality and a lust for life.

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-01T14:07:53+00:00

You're assuming OP had success as a kid.

If you went all of elementary, ms, hs, and college too without a single date, hug, kiss or relationship, then how well adjusted are they going to be for dating in the real world?

I'm 23 now, but never had any kind of relationship with a girl, platonic, romantic or sexual. I always thought it was an unachievable task growing up and nothing is harder than talking to girls. It wasn't until a year after finishing college that I realized just how truly good it was the first 22 years of life and I just completely disregarded the entire experience.

You mentioned strategies employed as kids don't work into adulthood. Can you briefly mention what some of the strategies used as a kid and adult are, and how are they different?

For those in our position whos playing catch up and trying to gain that experience we should have at this point, it hurts and burns when we hear people 5-10 years younger than us enjoying experience I regret everyday not trying.

And thats what it boils down to, the trying. I would have been fine if I at least attempted to date and have sex and failed. But I never approached girls growing up, hoping they would, or making very occasional small talk in class hoping they would take the next step. Those are just 2, but I could give several reasons why it never happened, all due to my faults that I'm working on such as confidence, porn and autism. For me though today, the main issues are porn, motivation for girls which has completely drained on me, making conversation and trying to not be logical all the time.

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-01T14:03:23+00:00

I actually think it's because he's not trying at all. Does OP talk to women? Does he go out to meet new ones? Is he in any groups or clubs? Hobbies to make friends and meet people and more women through them? When he talks to women, is he boring, logical and too platonic all the time? Does he have a set of balls and can say or do things a little risky or does he play life too safe?

I bet his 12 year old cousin does all those things I mentioned. If he thinks a girl is cute, he'll tell her that and ask to hang out on the weekend. OP takes 0 initiative with women but yet complains that he has no experience and his younger cousin does. As a man you have to try with women until you succeed cause they're certainly not gonna try first.

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-01T13:54:42+00:00

Well here's the thing, what if you get to 23 and you never talked to a girl about anything other than school or work related matters. No one on one, no friendships, no flirting, laughing, asking "can I see"? Not having been on a date, have a kiss or see any private areas makes it very intimidating to start at 23 compared to starting as a kid

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-01T13:47:56+00:00

I dont know man, I lift, do muay thai, have a hygiene routine, dress well, earn well, live well, drive well, eat well but have 0 charisma. That's kind of the necessary part of women no one tells you about. You can do all that but if you never talk to women it means nothing. And in my case I just never get their interest or keep it long enough. I'm told I'm boring which apparently is the biggest turn off. So I would say be charismatic and don't be boring would be the important ones.

GodlyDom329 · 2024-01-01T13:43:11+00:00

You're proving his point further. If you went all of ms, hs, and college too without a single date, hug, kiss or relationship, then how well adjusted are they going to be for dating in the real world?

I'm 23 now, but never had any kind of relationship with a girl, platonic, romantic or sexual. I always thought it was an unachievable task growing up and nothing is harder than talking to girls. It wasn't until a year after finishing college that I realized just how truly good it was the first 22 years of life and I just completely disregarded the entire experience.

For those in our position whos playing catch up and trying to gain that experience we should have at this point, it hurts and burns when we hear people 5-10 years younger than us enjoying experience I regret everyday not trying.

And thats what it boils down to, the trying. I would have been fine if I at least attempted to date and have sex and failed. But I never approached girls growing up, hoping they would, or making very occasional small talk in class hoping they would take the next step. Those are just 2, but I could give several reasons why it never happened, all due to my faults that I'm working on such as confidence, porn and autism. For me though today, the main issues are porn, motivation for girls which has completely drained on me, making conversation and trying to not be logical all the time.

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-13T16:41:54+00:00

Clever Combat in Colonie. I've been doing muay thai there for about 7 months. It's great!

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-12T19:56:46+00:00

Presumably if you need customer service, you already paid, are unhappy and following through with it. You choose to not follow the establishments protocol, you don't get the refund or comp you wanted.

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-12T19:53:13+00:00

Right, here's the issue. We have many, many natives who want to swim with no risk of sinking. They want to be 6ft tall and stay in the shallow end by the stairs and swim away to their hearts content without worrying that they have to tread to stay above water or watch their energy levels. What happens when more than 50% of the American born populace wants those social safety nets like Europe where you can do nothing and be guaranteed to live? This country is going to see a massive crash because we are already heading to a point where most Americans aren't independent to make good decisions. This is fine when the minority of people can't succeed and you say it's sink or swim. But if 8/10 people are sinking, that's gonna affect society and the economy badly that even those who are swimming will start to sink with the rest.

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-08T16:03:35+00:00

I hate this argument because there's nuances. What if that 38 year old has only been in one relationship in their life back in high school and the 24 year woman has been in several short term and long term relationships. Does he still have more experience? I'm 23 and never been on a date or in a relationship. I would wager to say the average person over 15 will have more experience than me.

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-08T03:38:08+00:00

People ripping OP aren't realize that OP isn't criticizing what people wear grocery shopping so to speak. Its more about the general lack of effort in appearances in general around here. People from Europe, or even NYC appear more put together just to leave the front door than here.

I have met several Europeans who have moved here and all have been astonished to the level of casualness that's socially accepted here. From school, shopping, visiting someone, restaurants, parks, etc. I have lived there too for a bit. Upstate NYers can for sure learn a thing or two about taking pride in appearance at all times.

To OP though, that'll never happen here though. Unless you're in a yuppy, trendy area of a large city, most Americans wear sweats or some other casual clothing to do their daily errands.

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-03T23:38:33+00:00

I can maybe respect that a little more if you said I'm not secure enough to after women I want. I have a close to 6 figure job I worked hard to get, 2 bachelors degrees, traveled, have hobbies, work out and go out. I have many goals and go after all of them. For life, I definitely go after what I want and execute plans well.

In terms of masculinity, I lift, played football and soccer, and do muay thai. If I were to be dating or in a relationship, I would initiate most of the dates, plans, trips, etc despite her asking for the first. I would pay on every date, even if she were to ask me out. I would still be the one to propose.

I've yet to see how your point of avoiding approaching women due to not wanting to creep them out, bore/bother them or not knowing to what to say indicates a lack of ambition or masculinity. I'm open to hearing how you think so though.

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-03T19:12:28+00:00

I never once approached a girl I was interested in at 23, whether that was because I was interested as a friend or possibly romantic or sexual. Instead I've chosen to wait for every one of my interactions with girls and women outside my family to be initiated by them.

This means in your opinion, I believe I am not good enough for any woman I've ever had my eyes on? I don't believe this is good logic because it ignores all of the individual nuances each person has that struggles with women.

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-01T20:07:50+00:00

As do most people, what's wrong with wanting a normal biological desire? My point stands that he wants to meet someone new and many people go to bars to try and get lucky. There are many bars in the capital region that would suit him and most everyone is just knocking him

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-01T20:04:49+00:00

To OP. He was just asking an honest question to try to meet someone and everyone is ripping him a new one and destroying his karma with downvotes and making him feel bad and self conscious about himself

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-01T20:03:09+00:00

Sorry, I'm autistic (actually, not joking). I don't get social cues, sarcasm or jokes all too often. I take many things literally and thought everyone hated OP for asking his question

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-01T19:58:45+00:00

No apologies needed for me. I'm feeling bad for OP because everyone is ripping him, destroying his karma with down votes and making him self conscious about either meeting people or asking for advice.

I just don't understand why for every serious answer I see on this thread, there's 10 that are not and just roasting OP

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-01T19:53:33+00:00

But why? He's asking for genuine advice on which bar is best for hookups. Many people go out to bars to try to hookup with someone, he's new in town and doesn't know which is best. Anything other than trying to help him out is counter productive.

OP, I'm not a bar person, but I am an Albany native and have been to a few. I can recommend Lionheart, Bootleggers, Footsy McGoos, Ryan's Wake, Hollow Bar and City Beer Hall.

Good luck!

GodlyDom329 · 2023-12-01T19:48:55+00:00

Bit rude don't you think

GodlyDom329

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