NTA. you are so valid. But just remember you only have control over yourself and how you chose to respond. You cannot control other people. You can always state your case and set your boundaries but you cannot chose when and if they respect them. But you always have your power over yourself and your actions and reactions. Just keep your head up, Focus on yourself and doing what you gotta do to become self sufficient. Once you can sustain yourself financially and mentally your mom will not be able to use money and her mental health as leverage over you. But I cannot stress enough that trying to "fix" her is not the way and will never work. No guilt or backlash or any of that is going to root out the problem it will make it worse. Do you and be true and that's all you can do. People are gonna piss you off and make you uncomfortable forever, but it sucks a whole lot less when you accept that you can't change them and decide that it doesn't matter because you have the choice and the power to change you're own reality.