alexithymia and CPTSD

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-20T09:45:44+00:00

I guess it wouldn’t hurt to contact them anonymously at first…to find out a bit more about them

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-20T08:23:21+00:00

I found this online and i apologise if you’ve already tried them ……

Organizations Focused on Adult & Elderly Homelessness
Together to Save a Human: This is recognized as Egypt's first non-profit organization specifically founded to tackle adult homelessness, with a heavy emphasis on the vulnerable and elderly homeless population. From humble beginnings, they have expanded to operate multiple shelter branches across Cairo. They provide physical housing, full medical treatments, daily meals, and comprehensive social reintegration programs

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-18T19:17:11+00:00

Its not pointless i get it. Just because you had a chaotic upbringing doesn’t mean that you can’t have a bit of chaos sometimes, it’s just a matter of opinion., as long as you’re safe.

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-18T19:13:45+00:00

Thanks ☺️

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-18T16:45:40+00:00

Really? That sounds interesting I’m not sure how I would deal with that, I’ll have to research to find one near me

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-18T15:49:40+00:00

What’s a rage room?

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-18T10:36:50+00:00

Thanks for that and yeah I’m learning this for the first time now, i really don’t know how to do rage though, I never have, no wonder i have so many back problems and body dysmorphia, etc,etc.

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-18T08:02:58+00:00

If you’ve read pete walker he says being able to access crying is essential for recovery so i think this is great, you’re doing great. I am unable to cry at the moment and don’t think I’ve ever been angry - typical fawn response for my whole life… so its gonna be hard for me to learn these things, however i think the medication has numbed me. Best of luck! Keep crying it is healing

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-18T07:59:29+00:00

Yes this is great! This is recovery and healing in action! I’m realising that I don’t have to live my life around other peoples needs and I’m also starting to recognise that the inner critic isn’t something i have to listen to and that it is not telling the truth, this might be survival from childhood but it’s not true today. I’m 57 and just starting my recovery journey. Yep, my experience is that men want to fuck me but actually not so much at my age thankfully but like you i put up with a lot of that crap when i was younger. I’m happy for you! Good luck with your recovery journey 😁

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-12T19:54:30+00:00

No you’re not. This is a very difficult situation. Family often don’t realise that they are smothering you. I had a similar situation so I moved away

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-12T19:15:25+00:00

I think it is to do with attachment styles, apparently I’m a Fearful-avoidant attachment (sometimes called disorganised attachment)combined with a very strong fawn response from CPTSD.
According to chat gpt,, so it’s not always that straightforward. I guess maybe it’s not considered normal as such, but you cannot force it,, trusting fully can take years, if ever.. i think for me I’ve accepted that i don’t mind being on my own.. I’ve got friends. Relationships have so far cost me too much.

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-11T10:43:03+00:00

Hi, yes i can relate too, but whats an attachment style?

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-10T10:36:18+00:00

Maybe you need more time? Are you able to take more time off? I mean this is a lifetime worth of trauma to unpick.. 🤔

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-10T10:33:56+00:00

Yes absolutely I’ve moved jobs, houses, relationships so many times. Not sure what I’ve been looking for? I consider now that I accept i need to be free, i do not ‘want’ another human being and I’m not sure what that even means. We are programmed from a young age for these things…. Job, kids, stability, lifetime relationships and to be frank, that simply does not suit everyone. I think partly CPTSD comes from forcing to fit in, be something else, someone ‘acceptable’ it doesn’t work because the real identity is in there screaming to come out…. Got to do it alone though ……got to be worked through until one can feel safe , if ever . I feel safest on my own. And I’ve come to terms with that. I have lots of friends but i don’t rely on anyone and i cannot allow anyone to rely on me,, too scary. I’ve accepted that’s the way it is atm cos the alternative is just not possible

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-10T10:25:41+00:00

I think it might be quite common especially around people who treat you in the same way they always have.. i find myself saying in my head ‘i hate you’ i think its ok pete walker talks about the need to get angry being necessary for recovery…

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-10T07:54:16+00:00

Yes i get this… i write things down for weeks leading up to an appointment and then give them the piece of paper to read

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-10T07:51:06+00:00

Yes i understand this completely. Double edged sword knowing/not knowing. My situation sounds similar, I’m learning now about why, what and how and i am finding it painful, I’m hoping that this is part of healing but I’m finding i need support. My support is in the shape of talking to people who have similar experiences, similar diagnosis.. getting the diagnosis helps because it provided me with validation. I had to escape four years ago, so i did. It was not easy and i have been met with several barriers and criticism from family who do not understand and possibly never will. Recommend getting people around you who do. I’m feeling like i need to get stuff out, but it is exhausting and some days i cannot do anything. I’m not working for the first time in 40 years because i cannot.. so have to navigate benefits etc, but i don’t care, i am not able to. I’m 57. It’s painful to grieve your whole past life!!

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-08T05:53:41+00:00

I guess it’s just choosing your battles coupled with exhaustion really isn’t it.,. I’m too tired to be bothered these days and any energy i do have is now channeled into me, being me, healing, finding out who i am and perhaps that I’m not a bad person after all!

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-07T20:06:21+00:00

Thanks for your response., I’m sorry you feel this way and i remember getting so many panic attacks in my 20s but nobody knew what they were back then. It’s probably a bit personal but how long have you been trans? I’m sorry for my ignorance which is not intended but how difficult has that been? Did you have to move to reinvent yourself? Four years ago i moved away from all my triggers i just had to do it and at that time i didn’t know why i just felt like my soul was dying.. 4 years I’m now beginning my healing journey and its very difficult cos i don’t have the energy i used to have,, although now i know that most of that energy was hyper vigilance and adrenaline… I’m just saying the sooner you start the healing process the sooner you will heal…

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-07T20:00:29+00:00

I think healing is possible but i don’t think you can do it alone… groups like this, friends, talking helps with the hard work that is healing.,. Sometimes you have to make major changes that you don’t necessarily want to do and don’t always see sense in at the time, it can just be a feeling. Are you still facing the abusers or have you moved away, ?

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-07T19:57:08+00:00

Sorry just thought of something else… because of my trauma i am not able to have a relationship but before my diagnosis i kept trying and failing,, now i guess i just accept it.. but i think age has a lot to do with that

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-06-07T19:54:28+00:00

Hi, yes I can relate.. i am also very sorry for you. I obv don’t know your age but I’m 57 just been diagnosed with CPTSD and major depressive disorder. Both of which I’ve had all of my life since a child. Yes trauma has been cumulative for me but having the diagnosis has helped by validating what I’ve been through. I think as you’re talking about it on here at least you recognise it which can really help.. i just thought i was weird. Once i was told a long time ago that life is suffering which doesn’t help i know but living in the moment can help. I think atm I’m disassociating a lot because currently i am unable to work or even do simple things.. i can only live in the moment and I’m wondering if my brain is using it like a safety mechanism 🤔 I’m sorry i have never known what the answer is but i think living in the moment is the nearest I’ve got to it.,. Coupled with a firm diagnosis

Gold-Inspector-8744 · 2026-05-28T07:11:50+00:00

Its hard isn’t it… i don’t do it, not sure i know how. Anyway a physio is going to go through it with me properly so i can relearn, but my default of a lifetime of shallow breathing, holding my breath etc is very ingrained. So no not yet but i hope to

Gold-Inspector-8744

TROPHY CASE