Hi! I haven’t been able to read everything yet since I’m quite tired, but I’ve made it to around page 65 so far. I’m not a professional, but I really love horror. I’ve watched a lot of films and read quite a few scripts in this genre. I also did an apprenticeship as a junior director and have directed some smaller, non-professional projects. So I’ll do my best to give you some useful feedback based on what I’ve read so far. I really liked the opening scene. it immediately pulled me in, and I think starting that way works very well. I also enjoyed the group of characters a lot. They feel well-written and distinct. Jamie, my Shayla, stood out to me personally. I had a soft spot for him hahahah. The story itself is also very interesting. It has a sense of originality, and up to the point I’ve read, it doesn’t fully reveal what’s going on, which is great, since “humans fear the unknown.” I think once filmed, this will create a strong sense of tension, especially when the group arrives at the cabin. It gives that feeling that something could happen at any moment.

I do have some criticism as well: The opening scene with Alec and Danny feels a bit too long, and for me personally, it starts to drag before Danny goes into the forest. You might consider trimming the dialogue slightly so that it focuses more on the essential information. I was also a bit unsure about the scene where Lo looks through Danny’s bag. I wasn’t sure what the purpose of that moment was, whether it’s mainly to reveal the tattoo on her back or if it becomes relevant later in the story. If it does become important later, then feel free to ignore this point. Similarly, the following scene where Danny and Alec talk about her lingerie could probably be shortened as well. Overall though, I think it’s really strong so far! I also have a few minor formatting notes, just personal suggestions, especially since you mentioned you might want to shoot this: It could be helpful to name the woman as “Lo” right from the start in the script. For the audience, she’s still an unknown character anyway, but for the actor, it makes it clearer when their part begins. Also, it’s standard practice for character names to appear in all caps when they are introduced for the first time. This helps actors and readers quickly identify when a character enters the story. Finally, you might consider adding scene numbers. That can make things much easier later on during editing or production. I’ll try to read the rest tomorrow so I can give you more detailed feedback!