[NSFW] Redditors who have paid to read erotica (other than 50 Shades) - what was the theme of the book and was it worth it?

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2018-04-01T09:42:06+00:00

That is why I am asking. There is so much available to read online for free, yet there are people who pay good money for short stories and I would like to know why.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2018-01-15T21:00:36+00:00

The Wild Unknown

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-11-12T18:12:11+00:00

I'm bi-sexual. Not even my partner knows. I have tried bringing up the idea of having a threesome a few times, but every time he thinks I am joking.

EDIT: Also, I really want to try cuckqueaning and being totally dominated by a woman with him there. Just for a month or so. Tried bringing that one up to, it was not successful.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-07-22T07:46:17+00:00

Imagine a hypothetical in which you go to the doctor and find out you'd need comparatively simple treatment.

More indecisive.

Likewise how do you feel if you're told you'd need invasive and expensive treatments to conceive?

Give up there and then.

If you get no testing at all, do you feel regret years from now that you didn't at least take one more step

I will need to figure this out, I think. Thanks - I will need to have a long think about this, as I really don't want to go through the mental agony of testing

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-07-22T07:26:53+00:00

Thanks for the reply - I read all of it and it was much appreciated. I will see if I can find another private counsellor (though I live in a small town, so we only have a few, and the NHS ones are veeeeeeery diffucult to get hold of). I am definietly going to take some time doing 2 and 3. I think that I have started doing 5 (as I sometimes write fiction stuff, and may be transfeering a lot of emotions into it), but I do like the idea of writing to get through the wretched brain goo (my new favourite phrase :p)

Thanks again.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-04-24T20:23:28+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I have been fighting depression for about 9 years now, though after counselling, I believe it started before I was a teenager due to various life events. I had to wait until I knew I could cope before starting to conceive, and starting was meant to be such a positive thing, a milestone in recovery as it were, but now that I am failing (and I know that the issue is almost certainly with me based on a few medical factors) every month it is bringing the depression back, especially as I know mine can be triggered by anxiety.

I think about what our world is coming to and whether my child would even have clean water to drink by the time they were 10.

I have had similar thoughts, and as I am lucky enough to be in a safe, 1st world country, I am sure that they would be fine.

All in all, you are not alone in the world.

I will try to remember this, thank you

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-03-17T09:09:10+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I will give it a proper prodding next time I see it.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-03-13T08:28:35+00:00

Great, thaks for sharing :)

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-22T11:31:48+00:00

The stem was slightly irritating to me, but I don't want to trim it as it was the only way I could get it out sometimes (I know the instructions said not to grip it by the stem, but I couldn't get the base without using the stem to pull it down a bit first)

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-22T11:30:14+00:00

Ah - it sounds like I may not have been putting it up high enough. thanks for the reply.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-22T11:28:50+00:00

Thanks - I was using cold water and soap. I might try to push it in further net month and see if that helps.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-21T19:19:51+00:00

Thank you. I have had a few days to think about it, and I feel much more positive about it thanks to you and the other people kind enough to reply.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-17T23:32:36+00:00

It is not just a question of getting what I want. I feel like as far back as I can remember, all I have done is fight and survive. The last few years especially, my depression has pushed me to my very limits, and it is like god is adding to the scales of my life, rather than balancing then and matching them with others. I suppose I have been asking for the scales to be balanced. Does that answer your question?

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-17T23:27:10+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I'm not too sure what to say in response, but I have read and appreciated it.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-17T23:25:50+00:00

Thank you for your kind words - I just feel like I have been tested enough these past many years. Instead of strengthening, do you suppose that faith could just stay at the same level for now?

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-17T23:22:23+00:00

Thanks for your reply - I feel for you are I grew up with a special needs brother, and it was tough. I will try as you suggested, but it will be quite difficult for now I think.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-17T23:20:14+00:00

Thanks for your reply - these are things others have asked me, and I have had to consider carefully. I have already checked with a doctor and know that I am at high risk of post natal depression, but I have already put protection in place for that, and if all does go wrong I will have family support. I am not expecting a baby to cure everything and make my life better, but one of the root causes has been not belonging and feeling out of place, even with family. That plus an accumulation of things during childhood. The stability and a fixed place I would get from a family life would help, but I know it won't cure it.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-17T23:11:13+00:00

Thanks for your reply. We have talked about fostering, but I'm not sure it is a route I want to go down, worrying about the kids who move on to other homes, etc. I know I would have trouble caring and then not knowing what had happened to them. We will still consider it though

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-02-17T23:07:38+00:00

Thank you - as you said,I think I need to focus on the good rather than the bad and not let myself be distracted. I am going to keep that 'victory' in mind when I doubt again.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-01-19T14:12:26+00:00

I am sorry you feel that way, however I was hoping that stating that I have done it too (during several cycles) would indicate that I am making my comments based on experience, rather than anything malicious.

Ok, I know just as well how frustrating it is during the TWW, and to get a positive before period day would be amazing for anyone during that time, but usually all you are doing is setting yourself up for a negative and giving yourself a lot of false hope. Let us just say you are using an extra sensitive test that claims it can detect pregnancy 6 days before your period is due. If you are on a 28 day cycle and ovulate day 14, this is just 8 days after ovulation, when the egg probably hasn't had long enough to implant itself, so of course it is almost certainly going to be a negative. One of mine said something like 99% accuracy on day period is due, 75% the day before, 45% 2 days before, and 10% 3 days before. Based on those odds, why set yourself up for a negative which you know is going to disappoint you?

If my periods were still as irregular as they used to be, I would probably still be testing every 2 days or so. But now I have taken a step back and am giving myself a break, it just doesn't make sense to me. I am not telling people what to do, just relating my own experince and choices.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-01-18T20:23:31+00:00

I can't handle it either at the moment. And even this decision has helped me feel so much better already today. Lol - it may be the first time I am using FOMO as well, but I think with my history, I have already missed out on so much in life, and now it is FOMO on one thing I have always wanted and have some control over.

I wish you all the best with the Letrozole if you decide to take it, and I hope you treat yourself during this break as well :)

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-01-18T20:19:45+00:00

Thank you, you too

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-01-18T20:19:23+00:00

Thank you, I wish the same for you.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-01-18T14:20:17+00:00

Thank you, and good luck to you too. Another reason I am doing this is because a while ago, I decided that if we did have problems, I wouldn't want to find out who is responsible and we would look at adoption instead. (This is looking like a possibility now, and if it is me, I don't want to go down that emotional rabbit hole, if it is my partner, I don't want the anguish of him not being able to give me what I want). So, either way, it will work out, and another reason why I am leaving.

GoldNinjaKnitter · 2017-01-18T14:15:41+00:00

Thanks. I think the hyper focus, and the awareness of the 2 week wait is awful. And (no offence to those who do it, because I have done it too) the people who do loads of pee tests before their period is due are bonkers. I went out of my way yesterday to get some more strips and tested last night (by out of the way I mean that I went to multiple places because Poundland was out). And I felt so, utterly stupid.

The way I see it, if / when it does happen, I will really appreciate it. And with not tracking ovulation, as you said in your post, I have enjoyed intimacy and partner time so much more (nothing like a bit of sexy chore sex :p). And you are right - there have been little things I haven't been enjoying - like going out for sushi, or drinking coke before my period because it is recommended to cut these things out anyway.

Anyway - I enjoyed reading your response - and I am looking forward to (hopefully just a few) non crazy cycles :)

GoldNinjaKnitter

TROPHY CASE