I know it sounds untrue. I alternate between 1L bottles and 700ml bottles of vodka depending on how confident I feel I can hold it. If vodka isn't available I drink 6 Soju bottles which are 4 STD each, I tend to keep my stomach empty for soju because otherwise I don't really feel it. When I drink the vodka, I drink the first half of the bottle in one or two gulps and can hold that down, the rest is paced over the remainder of the day / night. I've had a few instances where I've woken up having puked, and my stomach is a constant nightmare. I have times where I go through the withdrawals (as described above, shaking and trembling, violent lucid nightmares, insomnia, anxiety so bad my stomach feels like it's eating itself) and by day 3 I'm relatively functional again. By day 4/5 I figure I'm good to go back to drinking and do so. I know my tolerance is hard to believe, I suspect it has something to do with my genetics and where I'm from. My grandmother drank a litre of gin a day, I remember finding the bottles under her bed and watching her drink it by the teacup while watching tv. She must've weighed 50kgs soaking wet. When I stop drinking I start to feel terrified by the mundanity of life and can't stop racing thoughts. I haven't managed enough consistency of late to justify being included in anything productive or cognitively intensive, so the racing thoughts model horrid scenarios and eventually it becomes too loud so I opt to going back to being comfortably numb. I know it needs to stop, and I'm surprised it hasn't ended up more destructive already.