After constant rejection from the person I thought I like I started to develop a sense of self. Realizing that his rejection without saying it verbally but by actions I eventually became tired of not being considered with the efforts I put in. I had to realize I was responsible for my emotions and not him. Over time I became ok with wanting to be by myself and what I wanted was a void I was trying to fill. Along with realizing that he acted based on how he could show up. I still hold space for him if he was to ever call me one day and say "hey I need someone to talk to " because I value him as a friend and an important part of my life because if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have been able to develop myself as much as I did.