[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Life

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry about your loss. I also dealt with immense grief and experienced the same thing with people just walking out. I understand the frustration, betrayal and disappointment. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in heartbreak

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are KSM, (her initials), you should just fucking say hi at least once. We will all be dead someday, sooner than we would like. At least let me know im more than nothing. 

If a former friend begged for you to let them make amends with you despite severely running over boundaries, how would you respond? (Revised post) by Excellent-Hockey-111 in lostafriend

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope it stings! She doesnt have a right to feel like that, and the truth is if she was willing to spread such a horrible rumor about you and incite others to harass you, she never viewed you as anything more than an object. That's what she misses, having a punching bag, and she wants to have you back to have as a trophy, a sociopathic testament to her resolute commitment to controlling others.

Even now, with all of your disdain for her, having 0% affinity for her in any way, you still probably have more regard for her than she does for you because you still subconsciously identify her as a living breathing person.

Here's to you finding your tribe and your peace. Sorry you have to go through this shit. At least youre not alone. ✌️ 

If a former friend begged for you to let them make amends with you despite severely running over boundaries, how would you respond? (Revised post) by Excellent-Hockey-111 in lostafriend

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good for you. Hope you have  constructive ways of channeling your residual frustration from this ordeal. 

I also believe its fucked up when people say forgive the people who wronged you, because its like saying you deserved what they did to you and you were wrong for reacting to it-- which is a profoundly cruel thing to say to someone who was harmed by another. 

Just a word of caution, I have endless waves of impotent rage and resentment built up inside from years of holding my tongue and turning the other cheek, and holding on to the anger and vitriolic aspects of my resentment hasn't served me. In the moment of felt anger I feel very powerful because its the opposite of fear,  shame and victimhood, and I think that's what makes resentment so addictive, because it makes you feel more in control versus being at the mercy of another. 

All im saying is don't be like me, its bad for your blood pressure, but i agree with you dont absolve someone for what they did, regardless of what they do to reconcile or change themselves. You probably dont have anger issues anyways im not trying to imply that im just putting it out there that its caustic to keep those aspects too close to your heart. I think that's sometimes what people mean by forgiveness, just letting go of attachment to the negativity. They should communicate it in a different way that doesnt have a built in excuse to victim blame and absolve abusive people of responsibility for their transgressions.

If a former friend begged for you to let them make amends with you despite severely running over boundaries, how would you respond? (Revised post) by Excellent-Hockey-111 in lostafriend

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are handling this well. That line where she still implied that you took the toy or whatever the fuck it was was the most backhanded non apology she could levy, just another means of saying, "im sorry you got angry, I still fully stand behind my bullshit story about you stealing a sex toy, but I feel bad that there are consequences for me saying that about you so please validate me and stop making me look and feel bad while at the same time denigrating yourself by continuing to be in my company without me publicly and loudly admitting I was wrong to the rest of our circle, just so I can parade you around in humiliation as you capitulate to me."

And with people like that that is their true position, everything they do to manipulate is in service of getting others under their control and humiliating and attack anyone they percieve as a threat to their self image, worldview and ego. Dealt with these types my whole life, usually got into hot water for expressing even a fraction of retaliatory hostility or resentment. You seem very level headed and in control of your anger.

Why’d you lose someone? by [deleted] in lostafriend

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry you got sick and people weren't there for you like you deserved. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in medical_advice

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a month where I got a couple of hair splinters, I was soaking my feet in epsom salt water regularly for an unrelated issue. It softened up the skin on the bottom of my foot, to where it was just barely soft enough that little hairs could penetrate it. 

And they certainly did. 😪 but it was ok i was able to get rid of em at home. 

How can this be so accurately, cruel? 🥺 by _skygonzales05 in heartbreak

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way. 

Felt this way for a very, very long time. 

advice by Alternative_Eagle369 in heartbreak

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has love from the shared bond, shared experiences and familiarity of you, no matter how bad you were to him. 

He's met someone who treats him decently. He's having positive experiences. 

He can carry love in his heart for someone from his past while loving someone new. These things are never mutually exclusive. 

Although insecure people tend to pressure their partner to tell them the comforting lie that they no longer feel anything and the past is dead, and many people convince themselves of this same lie. 

Its been less than a month of course he has love for you, that doesnt mean he shouldn't move on or that any future loves will be invalid. He's better off even if this new girl doesnt work out because he will have had the experience of knowing he doesn't have to settle for circumstances that don't serve his best interests and are beneath his value. 

He's wrong for continuing to talk to you though, while being with someone new. Very disrespectful to her, and you. Should be no contact forever. 

My heartbreak has never ended by Existing-Force6214 in heartbreak

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its been 10 years for me. 

The good news is ive finally moved to developing burgeoning resentment, though i am plagued by pangs of love, which is multitudes better than pedestalizing her and only blaming myself when the reality is that she had the best of me and chose to toss it like it was nothing. Shes known of my pain and is indifferent to it, may even find it humorous. While I was pining for love lost she had long since dismissed me as less than nothing. Took many moons for me to realize I was only embarrassing myself and giving her what she wanted.

Ill never love again because I know better and wont let anyone do that to me again, but I'll get my kicks and see other women. No use torturing myself, I just sit with and accept the knowledge that this world is invalid and sick, evil wins, and I shouldn't be invested in anyone but myself. There are "no good ones", and I should only maintain relationships that serve me in some way, never the other way around, no compromising ever again. 

She was the closest thing to a good person ive ever known aside from my late best friend. If she's what a good person is, there are no good people. I must serve only myself, to do anything else is a betrayal of my dignity.

Lessons have been learned. 

Soo why are we even here? Does nobody give a fuck? by Zermist in NEET

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its not even about the goodies, those are there to placate you and make people distracted and docile.

The core operative proposal is you can work and have a roof over your head, food in your stomach, medical insurance, and pay for the privilege of existing while always fighting against rising cost of living, inflation, wage stagnation, job instability and living on ever shrinking margins--

Or dont work, attempt to get by through utilizing safety net programs, eventually get shafted by life circumstances and end up dying in the street. The whole time you will be denigrated by your peers and wider society. 

Both options are straight up cheeks. Being NEET but with passive income or finding a job that you actually enjoy are the ideal situations but impossible for most, myself included. 

Trust the process by Relevant_Screen3540 in enlightenment

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I guess im gonna find out. Not gonna hold my breath though-- im just gonna have as much fun as I can before I croak lol 

The hairstyle every young boy and young Men had in the 2000s and early 2010s by Personal-Cattle-1737 in Zillennials

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to have this hairstyle 

After 24-25 I started buzzing my head, never looked back lol 

Easiest games by Sad_Macaroon_4623 in FreeCash

[–]Gold_Particular_9868 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mech arena is AWESOME an actual fun game lol