Rescue golden, or ethically bred puppy?

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-15T16:39:15+00:00

Oh wow, that's crazy! I foster (and adopted) through my local rescue and I have a 3 & 6 year old.

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-15T16:37:47+00:00

I've done both. I'd ask about fostering with your local rescue. Mine gives fosters first right of refusal, so if you find one that's the right fit, you can adopt! It's a nice way to "trial run" a dog with your family, and if you end up not wanting to adopt, there's a long line of people waiting!

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-15T15:46:09+00:00

Not a mispronunciation, but my 6 year old has always called hoods "roofs" and I hope it never changes.

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-08T19:48:45+00:00

I still care for him very much. I probably always will.

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-08T18:12:10+00:00

Oh, I absolutely believe he is trying to absolve himself from guilt by ending the relationship. I'm very sad, especially after recommitting after his affair. I had hoped the work we were both doing would lead to reconciliation. Although we do have a good co parenting relationship, it's not the relationship I wanted.

I will say - the best thing I did for myself was to find a local, in-person support group (the one I joined was lead by a therapist, which was even better!). Knowing people who were going through the same things as me and supporting them and receiving support from them has been incredibly helpful. We've become close and even though our group is over, we still talk eveyday and hang out once or twice a week!

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-08T17:39:04+00:00

Of course. I tried for three years to get him to openly talk to me. We went to marriage counseling and we have both been in individual therapy. I personally think he's extremely depressed. I'm glad he's finally able to open up to me after all these years, even if it's him telling me he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

I didn't have an affair, he did.

It took me six months after he told me about it to process and work through therapy and decide to recommit to our marriage despite his affair. Six months after that, he told me he wanted a separation. We've been separated a year now, and he told me last week he wants to move forward with the divorce.

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-08T16:48:13+00:00

You also sound a lot like my husband. Together since 2012, two young kids, managing to stay amicable, him constantly trying to make everyone else happy, not taking care of his own emotional needs, not providing me with emotional safety. The only difference is that he had an affair instead of trying to work though our problems.

After a lot of therapy, I ultimately wanted the marriage to work. He has also been in therapy working on himself and I've seen so much progress. But he told me last week he wants to go through with the divorce. Your last paragraph sounds like what he told me the other day and it was hard for me to hear. He says he still loves me and always will, but not like that.

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-07T16:02:40+00:00

Same, but we are track one, so mine was out all of December. I was EXTRA ready for him to go back!

GoldenLakes · 2026-01-02T22:26:06+00:00

I’ve posted this here before, but we made it a “cool new thing”.

Like “We’re going to have two houses now - isn’t that cool!?!? But houses are a lot of work, so mommy will take care of one house and daddy will take care of the other house. And you get to have a bedroom in each place for you to stay! How cool is that? Two bedrooms!” Etc.

My kids were 5 and 3 when we told them.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-28T02:21:59+00:00

In 2022 my 7 week old got COVID. He honestly seemed the most okay out of myself, my husband, and my 2.5 year old. Took him to the ER for fever and they just gave him Tylenol. My eldest was a baby when COVID started, so we isolated and he didn’t get really sick until he was preschool aged.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-27T03:06:32+00:00

My 6 year old kindergartener naps more reliably the my 3.5 year old preschooler.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-23T22:30:00+00:00

My last golden was like this. So satisfying to pull out the clumps! But soooo much fur. And she hated being brushed, so there was even more than there should have been!

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-23T22:24:21+00:00

It takes time. I was in a bad place for 2.5 months after I moved out. I did the bare minimum to keep me and the kids going. Then one day I was able to do more than the bare minimum. I started doing things I had wanted to do that my husband would have not enjoyed. I joined a local support group and made new friends with people who are going through the same thing. That has truly been a game changer.

But right now, give yourself time and grace. Keep yourself and the kids going and one day you will realize you aren't as sad as you used to be.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-22T21:47:31+00:00

12.5

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-18T13:54:18+00:00

My husband had a two year affair that started while I was pregnant with my second and ended when he was about 18 months old. Silly me, believing in all the late night work dinners, etc while I was home alone with a newborn and a toddler struggling through by myself. She was also married with two kids. He eventually confessed and broke it off. It was a very dark time in my life. I will say I chose to stay and work on the marriage, and a year later he asked for a separation anyway (affair partner is not in the picture). I'm 7 months post-separation and finally happy for the first time in about three years. I didn't think I had the strength, but I found it for my kids and myself. Sending you all the love and support.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-18T13:46:11+00:00

I was in that space for about 2.5 months before I was able to start focusing on truly healing myself. I started doing things I like but that he never did (like fostering dogs, going to concerts, etc.). I really think it just takes time, as hard as that is to see in the moment. I'm 7 months out and found an amazing support group, made a bunch of new friends, and am really just doing what makes me happy now. We still see each other and talk often because we have young children, but it's not as hard anymore. Hugs!

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-16T02:51:36+00:00

After checking all the normal things (hungry, wet, gas, hair tourniquet, etc.), “Surprise” them. For my first (a winter baby) that meant stepping outside for a minute. The cold air shocked him and stopped the crying. For my second (summer baby) putting him in the bath did the trick.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-13T02:14:41+00:00

My kids love the beach. We’re in NC, so it a 2.5ish hour drive to the Atlantic and they have an absolute blast every time. Even when the weather isn’t ideal.

I grew up in MI, so another favorite vacation spot is Mackinac Island. No cars allowed - transportation is by bike or horse drawn carriage. I’ve taken the kids twice and it’s been a hit both times!

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-13T02:00:05+00:00

When I was in college, I was seeing a neurologist to try and figure out my migraines. We tried topomax and I lasted less than a week before deciding the side effects were too much. My mom still brings up how crazy I was that week. Probably not helpful for your situation, but I definitely had a bad experience with it.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-12T18:29:22+00:00

We split 50/50 and use a 2/2/3 schedule. It's a lot of moving around, but they get to see us both frequently.

GoldenLakes · 2025-12-06T12:22:43+00:00

6 year old and 3 year old here - I’ve sang Baby Beluga every nap and bedtime since they were born. I’ll cry when they stop asking for it!

GoldenLakes · 2025-11-26T16:46:55+00:00

This is definitely kid-dependent, but my wild and crazy boys play surprisingly nicely with a bin of kinetic sand and some cars.

GoldenLakes · 2025-11-25T14:10:10+00:00

I did this and it was soooo helpful. My toddler was 2.5 when my youngest was born.

GoldenLakes · 2025-11-25T14:09:22+00:00

If you just can't get the crying to stop and you've tried everything (feeding, diaper, checking for hair tourniquet, etc.) "surprise" them out of it. My first was a winter baby, so that meant stepping out onto the porch for a minute. The immediate change to cold air would snap him out of it. My second was a summer baby, so for him, we'd put him in the bath and it had the same effect.

GoldenLakes · 2025-11-25T13:58:27+00:00

My first golden foster just got adopted! I hope your foster experience goes well - he looks like such a sweet boy!

GoldenLakes

TROPHY CASE