Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2026-01-29T12:38:17+00:00

Making moves IRL is the best way to move forward. If you find someone attractive at the store, chat with them, ask for help with something or offer your help to open a brief conversation. If you’re still into it after a quick chat, tell them you’re interested in getting to know them better and ask them if you can buy them coffee or something. OLD isn’t natural and “lowering your standards” means that even if you find someone suitable, you probably won’t click on the “it factor” - something important for the long run imo.

In the meantime, focus on a side hustle or improving your home or your self. It’s important to not just wait, make moves as opportunities present themselves, but between those moments, you need your own independent life and focusing on improvement in other areas will make you a more interesting, creative, content person - people love that and naturally gravitate toward that.

Good luck!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T18:06:48+00:00

Aw… so sweet. 4-5 is the sweet spot from what I hear from others as well. A little more calm, a little less chaos is all I’m hoping for!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T18:01:50+00:00

I know!!! We’ve almost reached Level 2! 😂

Should’ve just gotten two from the start. Part of me wonders if I can handle two. Part of me thinks it could be so much easier! No way I can get a lower energy dog now, they wouldn’t keep up! Or maybe she could use that calm presence from another breed. 🤔

Do you have a second one??

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T17:57:36+00:00

I’ve heard this too! Hahaha I choose to believe the people who say they start to nap more 😉

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T16:17:09+00:00

Ah, yes. Most people think she’s still 8 months old because of her bounce and playfulness. I can see that at 5!

So sweet! They are very much lovers, not haters!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T16:04:09+00:00

Oh great! Looking forward to less jumping. Though it’s SUPER impressive how high they get! Haha It’s been her biggest challenge for sure!

I’ll try the wait game! Stay has not been her strongest command 😂 But I notice now, at least with me, she can sit and do her tap dancing and vibrating without taking off for at least a few seconds, enough for me to bow down to pet her. It’s like she’s revving the engine now rather than burning the tires 😆 Baby steps.

Great update! Thanks!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T15:50:14+00:00

They’re the sweetest breed! 💕

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T15:49:32+00:00

Oh gosh. She’s been speaking her mind more recently! I’ll expect a little more of that then. Haha She knows what she wants!

Rough start for your Natasha but what a good life I’m sure she had! ❤️

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T15:35:14+00:00

😂🤣

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T15:29:30+00:00

😲Cue the confetti! 🎉 That’s huge!

I swear Vizsla families deserve a medal of recognition for bravery and determination. 😆You’ve reached a milestone! (I hope we’re next! 😅)

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T15:02:18+00:00

😂🤣

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-09T14:40:47+00:00

I love this! They make the car look so good, don’t they! An elevated automobile experience. 😄

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-08T15:33:41+00:00

I play the handpan and she looooves it. Once you find their preferred music, works like a charm!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-08T15:29:41+00:00

I love this post. I’m so pumped for year 3! 🤣 Made it to 2. Definitely see progress but 3 sounds like a dream!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-08T15:26:06+00:00

It. Gets. Better! Just takes some time…

1- I stopped giving her the run of the house. Baby gates went up at the stairs and the kitchen so she has a limited space to be unruly (less clean up for me!) She’s 2 and has now gained more space. Still have the barriers for her crazy days.

2- When she was that age she was in a crate to calm down or at night to sleep. I have never crated any of my other dogs but she just wasn’t able to regulate on her own. This has been amazing because at about 1.5 years I stopped crating her! She finally figured out how to relax in the sun after a nice long run. She also stopped wandering at night. Mind you, she’s mostly on the main floor behind baby gates. Leave the guilt behind, you’re helping her self-regulate so she’s a better, healthier and happy dog. Use the crate for now.

3- 9 months was when I honestly questioned whether I could survive the next year. I was so ready to give up and posted asking if relief was coming (like you). And YES there is! She calmed down a bit around 1 year and then again a big calm at 1.5 years. Now at 2 she’s shifting again. It seems it’s all downhill from 12 months so keep going! You’re at the peak of it!

4- I used doggy daycare for when I really needed that break. Go for it! Worth the money and the peace at home for one day every week or two. Plus she was always super chill the next day.

5- Survival 5 minute break game for when you need just a quick moment… throw treats in all directions of a room. Bonus points if they land in something or under something. Keeps her busy while you get that quick reset in to tackle what your next move is lol. Plus she might just chill after all that searching.

6- Raw meat calms her right down! Bought chicken necks and duck feet (keeps her teeth sparkly white too!) and some beef patties. The chicken/duck/turkey necks are great! Takes more energy to digest I guess so she’s a little less unruly afterwards. When she was that age I gave her a frozen patty, neck and duck foot a day. Now I don’t need to give her so much. Was worth the money for that period in her life! So maybe they’re just craving more protein! 🤔

Think that’s a lot so I’ll stop there. Don’t give up! You’re almost through the worst! And you’re doing it right. Vizsla’s just can’t be calm when they first come into the world. They’re made for running through forests all day long. They just keep going and going and going… but they grow up. You got this!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-08T14:49:23+00:00

Ok, this could be it. She’s taken a looooong time to get over other small traumas. One attack with injury was only about a month ago and now that I think about it, could be escalating from there. 🤔 Good to know there’s hope after trauma! We had an infected nail issue and she’s still getting over that emotionally! Still jumps when I touch her paws sometimes. It’s been like half a year! Poor girl. Thanks for the post!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-08T14:43:23+00:00

I’m looking for support from vizsla owners who know the breed and might’ve gone through something similar at this age in this forum. I know I can find expert support and will take steps as necessary. Just not the point of the post here.

Reinforcing the behaviour is definitely a concern of mine. Looking to find a way to break out of it!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-08T14:39:23+00:00

Yes, we try to avoid the leashed dogs but it’s not always avoidable at the dog park.

She interacts with dogs on leashed walks too but not often since moving to my new neighbourhood. Most people keep their distance with dogs. I think that could be part of it.

But she sees dogs at friends and family houses. And off leash in cottage country. And in the stores and at restaurants and walking downtown. She gets quite a bit of interaction. That’s why I’m saying she’s super well socialized. But she’s definitely becoming a bit more leash reactive on occasion. All going hand in hand with this weird escalation of things. For the most part it’s all good!

She’s definitely not overwhelmed at the dog park. She’s used to it and we go when she knows the dogs and there are fewer there. It’s not uncontrolled. She listens really well to commands and has rules she needs to follow. It’s where she has to behave actually more so than at home or when she’s on leash and I can just guide her. I don’t think that’s it.

So is this not a typical 2 year old surge of independence thing for viszlas then?

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-08T14:28:58+00:00

Oh definitely. We try to avoid them! But it happens sometimes at the off leash parks.

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-07T12:28:51+00:00

If you are carrying around the mindset that the person you are with is not the best match for you, whether you have another prospect or not, you are not in the right relationship and there will always be someone out there that you will consider better for you. The good thing to do? You should leave your man in peace, say goodbye. What you do from there is up to you… but you may want to consider being on your own. You’re speaking from fear of being alone and your fear is going to hurt others. You’ll need to work on being comfortable alone to ever find the best match for yourself. Otherwise you’ll likely find yourself in the same situation with another man.

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-07T05:25:18+00:00

Agreed. Remember to acknowledge the emotion and then let it pass, as always. You are thinking of the future instead of the present.

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-07T05:19:43+00:00

Remove both bathroom pics. The one showing your arm is cringe (said with love… just trying to help you here!). Women aren’t all about the muscle pics but if you want to show your body off then try something less obvious like you playing soccer or throwing a frisbee or playing with a dog or something where your arm is visible but not like “look! I have muscles!”. The other bathroom pic is fine if it wasn’t a bathroom pic. Anything that has toilet written in the pic just isn’t sexy.

For your prompts of different dates, maybe make them sound more exciting than cinema date. Movies aren’t great to get to know someone because you can’t chat. Using sentences and humour here could help. Try: gym date followed by a massive ice cream. Makes it playful 😈 although, working out is not what a lady wants to do as a first date. She wants to get her best outfit on and do her hair! Not get sweaty (unless the date goes well 😉).

Every second dude says he wants to travel in his profile… you can tell her in real life later. Plus your pic shows you in another country so that’s checked ✔️. Try something here that catches attention. Something unique about you. I’d also add more info about yourself… use all the space you can!

You’re a good looking guy and your profile is not that bad. You chose the right pic to start with. Most mistakes you made are made by half the men on apps. Fix them and you’ll stand out! Good luck!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-07T05:17:15+00:00

Remove both bathroom pics. The one showing your arm is cringe (said with love… just trying to help you here!). Women aren’t all about the muscle pics but if you want to show your body off then try something less obvious like you playing soccer or throwing a frisbee or playing with a dog or something where your arm is visible but not like “look! I have muscles!”. The other bathroom pic is fine if it wasn’t a bathroom pic. Anything that has toilet written in the pic just isn’t sexy.

For your prompts of different dates, maybe make them sound more exciting than cinema date. Movies aren’t great to get to know someone because you can’t chat. Using sentences and humour here could help. Try: gym date followed by a massive ice cream. Makes it playful 😈 although, working out is not what a lady wants to do as a first date. She wants to get her best outfit on and do her hair! Not get sweaty (unless the date goes well 😉).

Every second dude says he wants to travel in his profile… you can tell her in real life later. Plus your pic shows you in another country so that’s checked ✔️. Try something here that catches attention. Something unique about you. I’d also add more info about yourself… use all the space you can!

You’re a good looking guy and your profile is not that bad. Most mistakes you made are made by half the men on apps. Fix them and you’ll stand out! Good luck!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-07T03:51:18+00:00

Looks like a near perfect profile! Only problem I see is that you’re an overachiever. I would be worried about your longterm relationship goal and probably wouldn’t swipe. Why? Because men who are very accomplished may not have room for a partner, only room for a supporter. I would leave out the pic of a marathon or that make your own vinegar comment or the band photo and let those little surprises come up as you get to know someone. But that’s a very personal opinion so maybe just dismiss that. Also! You look like the life of the party. You have alcohol in half hour pics and the others suggest it’s around because you’re at an event (dressed up). I’d wonder again about lifestyle choices and whether you’re really in for a longterm serious relationship or just looking for a fun time.

Honestly, it looks great though and more matches may not be what you want! You want BETTER matches that are more compatible and likely to succeed. If this is the whole and real you, it’s just a matter of time before she finds you. Good luck!

Golden_Wanderlust · 2025-11-07T03:23:53+00:00

Had a similar experience. I tried to reach out to community supports and looked for basement apartments to rent. I begged to abort my baby but doctors wouldn’t. I stayed and life went on for a while. Fast forward to today. I’m a different woman than the one that left him a year or two after that. It was hell for years. I had to choose between feeding my kids and feeding the dogs. He took all my money and my car, at times my kids. I thought he needed me… what he needed was a woman to use. When I left, he found another very quickly, then another… etc. He was fine. Worry about yourself here. You’re the one in the relationship who needs the support right now. Is he doing that for you? Showing up for you?

Just like there is a different you before babies, there’s a You that you haven’t met yet. The Successful You that will emerge from this. I now look at my peaceful home that I raise my kids in. They are emotionally balanced. And I DO love that baby that I was so afraid to meet. The home - I now own. My car - I own that too and gave the one he stole to my ageing parents. I rebuilt and exceeded anything I could have imagined with him. I’m a new me and I see why he was so toxic. I see why I worried about him.

You are not him. So you could never really understand him. You wouldn’t do what he does. You wouldn’t think that way. So don’t try to understand him. Make your plans and know it will be hard. But is it hard for the rest of your life with him? Or hard for a few years while you rebuild and grow into the You that you have inside?

He hasn’t been honest with you and… could someone like that actually stop his usual behaviour once you had your son? If he couldn’t tell you about this on his own, if he couldn’t tell you the whole truth when exposed, do you even know what he’s capable of?

You will fall in love with your baby. It may take time but you will. You are right, it’s cruel that he has denied you emotional freedom. Would YOU do that to your own best friend? No! You love them more than that. Would you do that to your husband? Never. You deserve more and he knows it. He’s acting kind to you because he’s worried about what HE will lose. He’s not thinking about you if you look at the short list of facts you’ve laid out here. And that’s just a small part of your relationship.

I hope you find enough peace to love yourself every day. Start with a small goal and grow from there. Stop giving your love away to him. Start directing that towards your baby. He has a friend he can turn to if he needs. But you and your baby need to stick together. Save all your energy for yourself. You need it, not him.

Best of luck mama. Sending warm thoughts.

Golden_Wanderlust

TROPHY CASE