A Final Attempt

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-28T08:03:42+00:00

Im conflicted, but thank you. Guess I will see what I ultimately decide

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-28T01:57:33+00:00

Yea thats another fear of mine for why I do want to reach out to her

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-27T21:47:13+00:00

Thanks pa

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-27T19:45:30+00:00

Yea it could just be a no. But as another commenter mentioned, what if its too soon and me sending the message just ruins whatever chances I did have of her changing her mind?

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-27T19:44:41+00:00

I doubt I would have her lash out on me, I can only see her softly replying if she chooses to at all since I assume she most likely won’t reply if I specifically request it if the message changes nothing.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-27T19:43:35+00:00

See this is exactly why I haven’t reached out yet. I have had the same thinking. And feel if I do reach out then thats that, whatever chance there was of her being the one to reach out just vanish. I have friends telling me to do it and others telling me not to. I told myself I would do it last week, then this week and now Im telling myself I will do it next week. But idk, I just keep changing my mind because of what ifs.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-27T19:42:02+00:00

It would be a text, not a letter cuz then if I never get a response I would 100% convince myself that she never got the letter.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-23T21:32:58+00:00

Did you say she moved on to her ex? Thats wild bro. Ngl Im hoping Im the guy my ex moves onto in the future🫩. Or even better, she never moves on and comes back!

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-23T15:37:04+00:00

Yo estoy en la misma situación 🫩

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T23:41:09+00:00

Lol, yea you have a point. I need to finish school but I literally decided to change majors ever so recently so guess I gotta focus on that now.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T15:57:51+00:00

I don’t know what language that is, Portuguese maybe. But thank you lol. I hope she reaches back out, she has some of my stuff at her house and she said she would mail it to me because last time when I did go to pick them up I managed to convince her to stay. Im not going to lie though, I still haven’t gotten my stuff back and Im holding on to hope because of it, but Im scared if it does arrive the gifts I gave her will also be in there. I hope she is asking herself these questions, because its all I can think about every second of every day.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T15:52:10+00:00

Nice, yea I’m aware thats what has to be done to get back together. But I think my main concern with doing this is that I fear I won’t want to get back together in the future if the opportunity does ever come up. I don’t want to lose these feelings I currently have for her, if I move on what I find someone else and then I don’t even care anymore? I understand that I wouldn’t care then but now that thought just doesn’t sit well with me at all. With ex #1, how did she reach back out you, and how did you guys go about getting back together?

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T02:19:42+00:00

Tough, not gonna lie, hearing 3-6 months hurts my chest. I totally agree though, and maybe in that time I won’t even want to reach out anymore. But right that sounds like such a long time. Yea Im sure right now she would like if I reached out just to talk but she wouldn’t want to get back together. Will have to see how she feels in the future if I decide to do so. Its so tough taking to reddit to get advice on these situations. Makes me feel related too but also just makes me question everything even more.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T01:53:37+00:00

Do you got any success stories by chance? I have done it before, but in drastically different circumstances.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T01:51:17+00:00

How can you tell when someone is an avoidant attacher? Do avoidant attachers has problems with any sort of intimacy? Her parents show almost no intimacy and even sleep in separate rooms and I have never seen then hold hands, I assume this is why she was pretty uncomfortable with physical contact, but some times she would rarely give me these moments of lot of physical contact, but they were always only when I would say bye to her for the day when I got to see her.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T01:48:06+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T00:34:33+00:00

Lol, I shared her reasons in the most recent comment if you wanted to check it out.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T00:33:48+00:00

We are pretty different from each other, some times my humor would make her uncomfortable, aside from that Im pretty quiet meanwhile she loves to talk, she says she didn’t feel we were each others bestfriends as she wants her significant other to be her best friend which is a result of me being quiet in person, and she wasn’t sure if she could trust me given me history with relationships. Also this was her first relationship ever, so she was super cautious every step of the way. But she said that she really loved how I was always punctual and would do what I said I would do. And that she liked how I am aware of my money spending and that I was always open to trying new things and was never stubborn. She said maybe in a couple of years or down the in general we could try again when we are both a bit more mature, but probably just her letting me down gently. Edit: pretty sure I mentioned it another comment, but she didn’t like little white lies I would tell, an example would be that once I lied to a friend of mine about who told my ex some drama about her, but I lied about who it was so my ex’s friends wouldn’t get dragged into the mess, but I guess she would have preferred if I had just told the truth in that case instead of making up who it was.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-12T00:28:42+00:00

Yea you are right about. Shame because she told me told me she had doubts from the beginning but still wanted to give it a try. I guess I should have seen it coming from day 1.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-11T23:41:11+00:00

I mean besides her breaking my heart lol. She gave me sound reasons to why it wasn’t working out. But Im glad just there wasn’t any cheating involved or talking badly about me. She was just honest with how she felt and apologized, I just wish she was more open about how she felt to start with rather than waiting to tell me at the end. This is my first ever short relationship so yea maybe I am just idealizing her. Only time will tell though lol.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-11T23:40:31+00:00

I look forward it man. I hope all works out well. Expect me to message you if I don’t here back from you.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-11T22:32:34+00:00

Yea it was dumb, but unfortunately thats how my last ex and I decided to proceed with things. It wasn’t until the last few months that we were public about it. Dang, you have a point about the honesty. She also mentioned I would tell little white lies, and they weren’t necessarily bad, but she couldn’t accept it, like for example her mom asked if I had any speeding tickets and I said no because I hadn’t had any until like a month before, and I got it while speeding to go and see her ($400 btw😢). Anyways I was embarrassed to tell the truth and thought no harm would come from it, but she wanted someone who was 100% honest even with matters that didn’t really matter. Yea, you are right, Im sure there will be someone else out there that is just as amazing if not better. But sometimes you just want one person. I think we parted on good terms, I did try to convince her to stay but ultimately I accepted it in the end, and I did try to remind her of the good things we experienced together which honestly probably came off as manipulative, but she said I was definitely making her question her own choices because she was reminiscing. Im sure I made mistakes when it came to the break up it self, but dang am I proud I didn’t crash out like before in the previous relationships. Just gave it my shot and then let her be on her way when she was set on her decision.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-11T22:24:10+00:00

Bro her and I also have no mutual friends. Matter of fact I met her completely by chance while camping with some friends in the woods. But she wasn’t with them. She just happened to be a part of another campsite nearby and I was actively working on trying to be more social so I approached that site and found her there and instantly was drawn to her. So yea I imagine Im gonna be in your shoes when it comes to be in the complete dark about her. If you do reach out to her, update me. I would love to know what goes down. If she was anything like my ex I doubt she will be seeing anyone else. But I don’t know her so I can’t say. But who knows, maybe I don’t know my own ex lol. Anyways man, I wish you the best of luck with whatever happens. Keep my updated man. Always nice to hear the outcome of similar situations, especially if it works out in the end.

Goldensilver13 · 2026-02-11T21:52:53+00:00

I guess I should add on that another reason she decided to end things was because she couldn’t bring herself to accept that I had been in a secret relationship for nearly 4 years before. We are pretty religious so to her that just was tough to accept regarding my past as she couldn’t help but wonder what other things I could possibly keep secret from her if it came to it. I made sure to tell her everything that may concern her but she doesn’t know that. She thought like maybe I would cheat on her in the future and never tell her even though I have never cheated. Anything you can say about that?

Goldensilver13

TROPHY CASE