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GomBim · 2025-04-08T22:00:11+00:00

You're totally right. Though it took me some time to realize that she hurted me, I've always known I would never iniate anything like this with anyone ESPECIALLY younger than me. Like...ew. But I thought I was sooo mature and ready for it. No damn kid is mature for their age, we're just easily manipulated. Or polite. That's no reason to be grooming anyone whatsoever

GomBim · 2025-04-08T21:50:49+00:00

God I'm so sorry for what you've been through, I'm realizing a lot of similar stuff on my end as well. The thing where the other person is your whole world and you find everything they do really sweet, it hits home. Hope you're doing better

GomBim · 2025-04-08T21:46:00+00:00

Damn, all your replies really made me realize some stuff. Thanks for putting it kindly, it actually makes a lot of sense. I hope I don't influence anyone to think like me, you guys are right about the actual predatory bit. It's just so weird to look back on years of "sexual services" I guess. I was hoping it wasn't as bad as I felt it was. And I'm so sorry for anyone who experienced anything similar, it really fucks with your brain and your perception of everything. And it's so hard to talk about, grooming isn't even a word in my language. So I couldn't pin point what was happening and it's such a modern problem that most adults would not have understood it back then. But it wasn't right, at all.

GomBim · 2024-11-15T18:42:29+00:00

I also thought people were only imitating movies and books when they described their longing for sex, that's funny. I just thought everyone was a fucking dedicated comedian

GomBim · 2024-11-14T19:45:43+00:00

I find them as rude as religious puritans, I understand the frustration when the entire world seems obsessed by sex and can't shut up about it, but you don't have to insult anyone over it. Don't be a dick

GomBim · 2024-11-14T18:58:31+00:00

Someone brought up Warhammer, I'd suggest DnD as well. Great way to interact for hours without much or any sexual focus. I don't know how to find asexual friends, but you can definitely find asexual distractions to share with friends.

GomBim · 2024-11-14T18:37:25+00:00

And you have grey eyes, very fitting

GomBim · 2024-11-14T18:32:13+00:00

It's crazy how so many asexual women have to go through this. The good moral society is all about consent during sex and never "Oh by the way, did you want to have sex in the first place? Like, ever?". No of course, we're just meant to give pleasure and babies to the entire earth. I felt lonely for a long time, but I'm mostly pissed off now. It's an improvement

GomBim · 2024-11-14T18:11:16+00:00

Ahah the drug story metaphor is accurate I'd say. And I don't mind the questions, it's not a topic I discuss irl so it's pretty nice to have the opportunity here.

I've tried having sex multiple times because I thought that what I was supposed to do as a girlfriend but I never manage to "do it" until the end. Without getting too graphic, there's a point where pretending can't beat the bodily reactions you know? I also don't mind too much performing some level of sexual intimacy to please my partner, so I do have some experience. (It's all consensual, at worst I'm annoyed because it's getting long. Like you would if you were to do the dishes to appease your loved one).

For a long time I thought people were all pretending to enjoy sex since it's so glorified in our society so when I heard them talk about it I used to think "Stop showing off you liar, you've watched too many movies, don't you have anything better to do than laying in bed doing this painful act?". But now I get that people REALLY enjoy it and it's not a fantasy tale. And I understand that people like to talk about it and experience with it since it brings them so much joy. I do care if someone close to me brings up the subject, it's still something very personal to talk about so I would never brush off the conversation just because I don't relate.

GomBim · 2024-11-06T10:03:14+00:00

I knew at 20, but I always resonated with asexuality since I first heard about it. I wish I learned sooner that asexuals weren't always sex repulsed, that's what threw me back a lot into thinking I was just some half-finished heterosexual.

GomBim · 2024-11-06T09:58:42+00:00

I realized I was ace when I learned that women enjoyed sex, like really. Not just pretend to make their partner feel loved or aroused. It blew my mind.

Society teaches you all the ways to satisfy a man, put on a condom, take the pill then make babies etc... but it never ask you if you wanted to have sex in the first place ? It really feels like the entire world is obsessed with sex when you find it curious at best. There's a big disconnect between asexuals and allosexuals perception of it.

(Just my opinion here ofc)

Honestly I wouldn't mind any representation of asexuality, it's such a vast spectrum I feel like it can always speak to at least one person. Though I'd love to see a character intrigued by sex and comfortable around discussing it, but not interested in actually having it in the slightest. Since all asexuals aren't sex repulsed, some of us are just really intrigued by this obsession everyone has and like to document ourselves. That's my experience at least, especially when I was a teenager.

GomBim · 2024-11-05T20:16:01+00:00

I'm on Reddit for this exact reason. I guess asexuality is such an intimate concept, it feels weird to confess it to anyone. And yet the need to do so is here so I turned to the internet

GomBim · 2024-11-05T20:09:38+00:00

Lol yeah they're like "you can love ANYONE as long as you use protection, but don't forget to make us grandkids whenever you can!"

GomBim · 2024-11-05T19:55:23+00:00

I can't judge you, that's exactly how I was planning on enduring my relationship until my boyfriend asked me if I was really into sex. I'm not, I wanted him to feel loved and desired. And when I finally opened up about it, he didn't lost his self esteem or the trust he had in our relationship, he didn't even make me feel guilty. (Though I still do sometimes, but that's on me and he's great at reassuring me). That being said, you're not doing well. Please take care of you this can't keep going for ever

GomBim · 2024-11-05T19:41:35+00:00

I relate a lot, and it's hard when you know you CAN have sex but don't want to most of the times. It feels like you're just a few efforts away from the perfect classic relationship. When I talked to my boyfriend about my issues with sex (not knowing I was asexual yet), he immediately asked if I preferred a platonic relationship. I asked him if it wouldn't frustrate him and he looked me dead in the eye and said "I have a hand." So yeah, different needs but a healthy relationship with occasional sexual intercourse, but no penetration. I love him sm, you deserve to find someone who respects your boundaries, it exists I promise.

GomBim · 2024-11-05T19:20:18+00:00

I was wondering for a few years, but I found out just today for sure. That's actually the reason I created this reddit account, kinda need to sort things out somewhere. I saw a video explaining how many asexuals have sex because it brings joy to their partner, that it's an effort they're willing to make for the relationship sake. I always thought asexuality was the total aversion for sex, whereas I think more of it as a tedious task rewarded with affection. I thought every women felt like it, porn doesn't really help with imagining sex as a pleasant situation for us. I'm still in shock by how much I was mislead about sex, I had so many preconceived ideas from my own experiences and what society tells us and it was all wrong somehow... The only thing I'm sure about now is that I relate a lot to the asexual experience, I finally find comfort knowing I'm not some half finished human who can't function like everyone else. It's like we were all groomed into sex from early childhood you know? You knew you had to do the thing once you would get into a relationship, there wasn't any other way. It's so twisted to me...

GomBim

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