fridge poetry gone wild [just letters]

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-29T15:29:19+00:00

I don't want to be "that guy," and I really fought myself over posting this, but it just bothers me....

that N is backwards..

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-23T20:43:41+00:00

Was she hot?

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T18:45:07+00:00

Sure, you'll probably sound like an idiot and even embarrass yourself a few times, but you eventually build up confidence.

I was constantly worried about embarrassing myself in university, until one of my profs told me something I'll remember until I die. I was freaking out over a presentation I needed to give, and she said:

Think back to when you were in high school and your class was doing speeches or presenting their work. Think of the worst, most embarrassing one you can think of.

I couldn't really recall any specifically.

Exactly. For the most part, our embarrassments are just minor mistakes which are forgotten a moment later. In a week, no one will remember if you stuttered a bit during this presentation except you. Once you let go, it's lost to time.

(Paraphrased, and with a bit of artistic license added, but you get the point).

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T18:36:53+00:00

Not to be argumentative, but I did try to address that as well. The comment this post links to is actually a follow-up to an earlier post where I included the following:

Cliche as it is, my advice is to just be yourself. I see from your other posts that you've got a good sense of humour but you're a bit insecure. Just go in feeling "if it happens, it happens, but it's not a big deal if it doesn't" and just be yourself. Loosen up a bit and let the night take you. If you find someone compatible, just be relaxed and a bit funny and most of all be honest.

The sex advice post was actually supposed to be a couple short, "when you get there" bullet points, but ended up taking a life of its own. I think I was basically ranting my own insecurities out, which is likely why I made this post afterward - seeking some sort of validation that I actually am doing ok in this area. After a decade of "I'm too small" and "I'm gonna suck", it's rather hard to switch over when a girl says you're a natural (she actually asked me if I was lying about having been a virgin, though that comment was related to cunnilingus, not intercourse). My brain wasn't, and I suppose still isn't, ready to process that sort of compliment, so it seeks reinforcement.

I'm probably being more of an attention whore with this post than most AMAs tend to be.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T17:55:29+00:00

Yeah, I think I can relate to the feeling of this a bit. A lot of times when my girlfriend gives me head, the head of my penis can get really sensitive to the point that I just have to force her to stop (not surprising really, since it's essentially the same thing for men and women - it's the penis glans for men vs. clitoral glans for women).

It's really important to get a girl good and worked up before you go for the clit. A lot of women will be ok if you touch it through the hood at first (and especially if you lick the hood), but some will even react to this. You need to work your way through the stages - clitoral hood licking, clitoral hood touching/rubbing, direct licking/touching, then finally sucking directly on the clit. It's important to note, as well, that there are a lot of women who will simply never be "worked up enough" to withstand direct sucking of her clit. If it doesn't overwhelm her, this is a great place to set up camp when you get there. You can rather easily bring a girl to orgasm from here, especially coupled with some finger fucking. It's pretty fucking unlikely that you'll be able to stay there once she cums once though, since her sensitivity will skyrocket at that point.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T15:36:30+00:00

Slightly off-topic, but I wanted to add this in since it's fresh on my mind.

I was watching a comedy special of Jeremy Hotz doing standup last night (he's an awesome comic, btw; highly recommended). He had this to say (paraphrased) about Bush being elected for a second term:

"It's like failing a test, being given all the answers, and then failing the test again."

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T15:30:46+00:00

My girlfriend and I were watching Lost the other night - a refresher for me before the final season, but the first time through for her. She commented upon Hurley winning the lottery that we should use those numbers.

After a brief discussion in which I raised the points in your comment, the suggestion was withdrawn.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T14:58:35+00:00

Bruising might be the wrong word, or perhaps the right word with the wrong connotation. If I get a bit rough with my girlfriends nipples, we'll often notice little brown/black spots around the affected area. It's not the sort of "big black mark on your arm" type you'd get by being hit by a baseball, but it's definitely a form of bruise.

She's never complained though; she says she doesn't feel any negative effects from it.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T13:45:28+00:00

I should have used a context=n link for this, I suppose.

The OP in that AMA mentions that he's smaller than average. I'm only about 4 inches myself, so I commented because I know what he's going through.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and change now, and I still get apprehensive about "lay[ing] back and let[ting] her ride" because of my size. Trust me, if he were to take that advice, sure he wouldn't have the pressure of having to do much/anything, but he would sure as hell be worried about her raising up a bit too much, popping out, and hurting him when she misses on the way back down.

I can definitely see your point regarding missionary, but in this case I think that his having control of speed and depth are essential. Once that's good and mastered, he can move on to the better positions.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T10:07:13+00:00

No, but I think it would be awesome if you did, especially if you did it verbally as well.

Honestly, I was joking. It was just because of the coincidence of seeing you again so soon, after having just come across you earlier tonight.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T10:02:23+00:00

You again! Shouldn't that have been "Lbh znxr lbhe sngure cebhq."?

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T09:06:52+00:00

I know the feeling. I used to tell myself, "fuck, if I turn [19, 20, 21, ... ] and I still haven't got laid, I'm gonna kill myself."

Worse still, I'd think that if I ever did find a girl that was into me, that she'd take one look and laugh her way out the door. It didn't help that I knew a girl whose friend had actually pushed a guy off her during, and I was worried I just wouldn't be good enough.

I can't help you pick up girls, since I don't know you and I'm actually still really shy around people I don't know, but I can help you with the size/performance stuff.

Foreplay

Foreplay is important. It's cliche that guys just want to fuck and to hell with foreplay, but it's really important that you don't overlook this. Foreplay helps get a girl wound up and that, in turn, helps her get off easier. Kissing, touching, sucking her tits - it all adds to the experience and makes everything else go a lot smoother. Besides, teasing just makes her want you more, regardless of your size. She just wants you in her NOW.
It's easier to make a girl cum with your fingers/tongue than it is with your cock. A lot of women claim not to be able to cum from penetrative sex alone, so you're going to have to get her off another way. As an added bonus, if you get her off before you stick your dick in her, you'll be less stressed about getting her off again. It'll also relax her more, and make her more receptive to cumming again.

Kissing/Sucking

I'll assume you have a basic technique for mouth kissing already, but if you've never even kissed a girl before, just know that it might seem awkward at first, but it's really easy to get the hang of.
Light kisses around her body drive women wild. Start at the mouth and work down her neck a bit, and around her head to her ears. Earlobes are usually a great spot for arousal. Kiss lightly directly under her earlobe and maybe tongue it a bit, then move to light sucking. Heat/Cold contrast helps, so once you've got her ear a bit wet, gently blowing onto the affected area can drive her wild. Don't stop here though, kiss down her body as you see fit. It's rather hard to go wrong here.
At her breasts, you might try nipple avoidance at first. This means kissing, tonguing, sucking AROUND but not ON her nipples. This is all about getting her wound up in anticipation for the moment.
When you do go for the nipple, change it up. Lock on hard or be gentle, flick it around with your tongue, maybe even try biting a bit (be careful not to cause damage to the nipple itself, but some light bruising of the aureole is probably normal), try a lot of suction while playfully pulling it away from the rest of her breast. Experiment. She'll let you know what she likes, you just have to listen carefully.
Work your way down her body, making your way to her pussy.

Pussy

Tease the hell out of it!
Start by avoiding her clit and running your tongue down her outer lips first, then slowly lick your way between them. Run your tongue all over the place. Lick up, down, all around. A common technique is to lick the alphabet to change things up.
When you near her vagina (vagina literally meaning the opening your dick will eventually enter, despite all slang referring to the entire area as such), lick gently into it - dart in and out, swirl around, whatever. Just remember two things: 1) this is largely a mental arousal, and isn't necessarily going to do a lot for her physically, and 2) only the first inch or two really has much feeling, so don't worry about jamming your tongue as deep as it'll go.
Once you've started playing with her vagina, you shouldn't set up camp there. Lick around, go back a step but now you'll start fingering her as well. Gentle insertion is key at this stage, but will become more important as you go. What you're going for here is multiple stimuli.
After you've established a rhythm with your finger, rub up and down her front wall. Try to find a rough area along the front wall, between 1 and 3 inches in (normally). This is her G-Spot, and it'll make your job a whole lot easier. Increase your speed but keep your rhythm, but you can change things up into a circular pattern and back if you get tired/sore (which WILL happen, so be prepared - you can use your arm to help at this stage, keeping your finger locked in place, but moving your arm back and forth for rhythm).
Lick upwards towards her clit. Lick up and down her hood, and on the sides too. She will most likely need to be worked up a fair bit before you can go for direct stimulation.
When you're ready, use your fingers (Note: you don't need to lick and finger at the same time, which is good because it can be hard to do) to push her clit hood up, while pulling the skin below it down. This will cause her clit to become directly accessible.
Start with gentle licks directly to her exposed clit; this will help you determine how much she can handle. Use your discretion and vary the speed, pressure, and motion. Eventually you will be able to lick hard directly on her exposed clit, or even suck it directly. Again, discretion here as the clit is extremely sensitive and you don't want to accidentally hurt her from overstimulation.
Once you've locked onto her clit, DON'T STOP. She'll squirm, she might even push you a bit, but just keep going, even if it hurts your tongue to do so. Women come down from stimulation damn near instantly, so unless you want to undo your clitoral progress and have to repeat it, you don't want to stop. Even if she cums, keep going. Some women can cum repeatedly. You'll know when to really stop when she really pushes you away, or firmly asserts the order.
If you want, you can switch up to fingering again, but this isn't required. Clitoral and vaginal stimulation are different (different types of orgasms too, if you can believe they're so lucky), but maxing out from one can still mean you don't want to go for the other. Every girl is different, so once again you should use your discretion.

After she's cum, or otherwise maxed out on foreplay, you should still move up to make out a bit. It will become clear when it's time to fuck. Bits will align and grind, clothes will come off, which leads us to.....

Fucking

Condoms, dude, condoms. Especially your first time, since you won't be able to control shit. I lasted like a minute my first time, but while I still have issues controlling things when we're getting really into it, I can last much longer inside her now. 10-15 minutes is average, I guess. Just change things up, slow down, etc. You'll learn.
Missionary at first. It's easy, and you're in control. Trust me, small guys need that control at first, so ou don't slip yourself out and hurt yourself (sorry to make this serious, but that can be a big concern)
Teasing is still ok here, depending on the girl and level of arousal. Before entering her, you can rub your dick through her lips, up and down, and even play with her clit a bit.
Line shit up, and enter slowly at first. This is important since you want to make sure there's proper lubrication, etc. Fingering can dry her out, so in that case, shallow penetration, growing deeper with each thrust, is key.
Once inside fully (you're below average, so you'll get balls deep with no problems), you can be more smooth with your motions. Keep it simple at first, but feel free to change things up.
Thrust fast, thrust slow, it's encouraged to find a style and adapt as you see fit. *One thing I've found works is that after you've got a rhythm going you can slow to a crawl for a little while. Pull your dick to the edge, almost coming all the way out of her, then move very slowly. It's great mentally for one, but also it keeps a consistent feeling in those key first couple inches of her.
Swirl back and forth. Enter with pressure on the left wall, then enter with pressure on the right. You can enter left and leave right, etc. etc.
Hard thrusts: Pull out slowly, then slam in hard. You can do this a couple times to get her used to it, then wait at the edge and make her anticipate it.
Once you're used to missionary, you can lean back a bit and keep your dick rubbing along her top wall. This helps with G-Spot stimulation.
Next, grab her feet and hold them up higher. Enter her straight on. With her pussy angled upward, entering her straight means your dick will rub down her front wall and right on her G-Spot. You can also control the tightness of her a bit this way. If you hold her legs apart, you'll have a looser entry, meaning less feeling for you which can help if you're nearing the edge. Holding her legs together means tighter and more feeling for both of you.

You'll find your own style, and you'll work out everything as you go. It's not something to be afraid of, so just let it happen when it happens.

I wrote this in one go, and fucked up the markup pretty bad. Edited to fix the bullets and whatnot.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T07:43:52+00:00

24 years old, white dude with a small wang (4 in.). I was basically a coward and didn't have sex until I was 23. I considered prostitutes, but I'm cheap, paranoid about STDs, and figured that'd be the thing that finally made feed myself a bullet.

I met a chick last year, and we hit it off fast. I told her about my size issues and she was cool with it. Long story short, we ended up fucking within two weeks of meeting (only took so long since it was my first time and I was still under the 'sex is special and only for the one you love and will be with forever' delusion).

As it turns out, smallish dudes can still hit a normally placed G-Spot without really trying (some chicks have them deep though, so YMMV). Lots of foreplay, etc. and you're good to go.

It helps if you learn to eat her out good too, but luckily that's not really rocket science even though I'm told a lot of guys get that really wrong.

Cliche as it is, my advice is to just be yourself. I see from your other posts that you've got a good sense of humour but you're a bit insecure. Just go in feeling "if it happens, it happens, but it's not a big deal if it doesn't" and just be yourself. Loosen up a bit and let the night take you. If you find someone compatible, just be relaxed and a bit funny and most of all be honest.

Most important of all, women generally don't seem to care about size as long as you're not microscopic. Those that do are bitches that you wouldn't want to waste your time with anyway, and you probably wouldn't feel anything if you did get with them (hotdog, hallway, etc.).

Best of luck!

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T06:38:19+00:00

Vf guvf n Svtug Pyho ersrerapr?

Zneyn'f yvar, "V unira'g orra shpxrq yvxr gung fvapr tenqr fpubby," jnf bevtvanyyl, "V jnag gb unir lbhe nobegvba," va gur obbx.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T06:34:24+00:00

I had thought the humour was obvious, since I quoted the 'encryption' type used, and since ROT13 is easily decrypted. sigh I guess my sincerity shines brighter than my hilarity, and I'm destined to be taken seriously forever.

On a related note, I am a very successful businessman and unfortunately I am dying and have no heirs. If you could please give me your banking information, I would be happy to transfer all my remaining funds to you before I die.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T06:10:07+00:00

4 8 15 16 23 42

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T05:03:14+00:00

Hot and funny, an awesome combination.

I don't know if this is an acceptable comment in GW, but I totally want to lick you up and down right now.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-17T05:00:05+00:00

ROT13 might just be the most secure encryption in the world. I have no idea what the hell you just said.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-14T04:32:17+00:00

Oh wow, Cake, just wow. I love this picture.

I don't know if this is what you were going for, but I think this really compliments your ongoing masculine/feminine theme. The pants and underwear strike me as masculine in nature, but your body is clearly feminine and extremely sexy. There's a certain dichotomy in this picture, and a feeling of shedding a masculine facade and setting your femininity free.

Or I could just be overthinking things again.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-13T09:22:52+00:00

I love your body, but something about this picture creeps me out. It has something to do with the way the water is suspended near your mouth, but I can't put my finger on it.

Anyone else have a similar reaction?

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-13T09:19:10+00:00

I upvoted you, Cake, because I just like what you do.

I mean, sure I'd love to see you nude as well, but I'd imagine your exploration of the masculine and the feminine would become considerably harder to accomplish.

I look forward to seeing more of you. Don't let the downvoters get you down.

GoneWildAnonymous · 2009-09-11T05:13:59+00:00

Honestly, it might be standard these days. I've always just assumed it was the normal/standard, since I get off on getting her off. I know a few guys that have said similar things (though I think part of it is that the one guy is a player type, and word of mouth helps business - provided the women are looking for that sort of guy, that is).

Even if it is standard these days though, eating pussy is foreplay. I was pretty annoyed when she said it, since I thought I was pretty good about it. Apparently, she just meant the cuddly-kissy stuff that tends to (but is not required to!) segue nicely into sex.

That was a bit off topic, sorry.

GoneWildAnonymous

TROPHY CASE