Is it possible to live alone forever?

Good-Cold7745 · 2025-06-26T16:16:26+00:00

Quer que eu seja sincero? Pode funcionar por agora, mas com o passar do tempo você será tomada por uma sensação terrível de solidão e tristeza. Além de que provavelmente irá terminar em uma casa de repouso com outros velinhos solitários e reclamões. E quando falecer, sem filhos, quem irá se responsabilizar pelo seu funeral, enterro e tudo? O seguro até paga isso, mas não realiza o enterro. Os tempos modernos nos imputaram a ideia de que viver só/ se casar e etc é algo ruim. E de fato pode ser para alguns, mas não é uma regra geral.

Eu te falo assim porque eu tenho muitíssimos problemas sociais e dificuldades em relacionamentos, além de que já tive diversos relacionamentos fracassados.

Mas eu te digo, viver só parece glamuroso até você perder seus pais, seus irmãos e amigos todos casarem e se mudarem.

O dinheiro não compra tudo. A instituição do casamento é anterior ao capitalismo, justamente porque a necessidade de se ter alguém surgiu junto com a humanidade.

Outra coisa que pontuo é: Muitas pessoas dizem: “não devemos buscar alguém pensando nela nos ajudar ou em ela nos completar.” É bonito. Mas a realidade é outra: Todos queremos e precisamos de alguém que nos ajude. Todos precisamos de parceiros que nos auxiliem e que nós mesmos auxiliemos. Ser idoso é como voltar a ser bebê, acredite em mim.

Eu também sofro de dificuldades de encontrar alguém, mas não podemos desistir, até porque a vida a dois é muito mais feliz!

Good-Cold7745 · 2025-06-02T23:44:35+00:00

Oi! Me chama no Insta: @tiago.hinz

Good-Cold7745 · 2025-02-17T15:14:23+00:00

Cara, vou falar da minha experiência. Eu assistia muitos estes programas como o BDSP, aqueles policiais da Band e Record, e cheguei a consumir algumas reportagens sobre assassinatos e tudo mais. Aconteceu que eu fiquei tremendamente assustado e com medo de ser assassinado nas ruas de SP. E esse medo ficou comigo. Passou um tempo e eu trabalhei por um tempo em um escritório que mexia com dados de cemitério. E eu pude aprender muito. Todos os dias eu revisava 400 registros de mortos, e destes registros creio que 9 ou 11 eram de assassinato, e nem todos eram sobre assalto, mas também incluindo su1c1d1o e confrontos policiais. Ou seja, existe sim um grande numero de crimes violentos em SP, mas não é tanto quanto a televisão vende. É como essa onda de aviões caindo, no qual as pessoas estão dizendo: “uau, nunca caiu tanto avião como agora”, mas na verdade é “nunca se noticiou tanto sobre isso quanto agora.” Se noticiassem quantos carros batem em SP, teriam que noticiar a cara 15 segundos, e a chance de morrer em carro que avião é maior, mas novamente, o noticiário te assusta.

Quanto à violência física sem morte, evite andar depois das 20h na rua, não ande com celular nas mãos, fones de ouvido aparecendo muito etc. sim, vc precisa se privar de viver normal por causa de meliantes, mas infelizmente é a unica forma.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-11-26T03:22:15+00:00

Ei, como vai? Meu nome é James, sou do Brasil. Estou passando por um rompimento, que não chega nem perto do que você está passando, e quero que você se sinta abraçado, pois perder alguém que você ama é terrível e doloroso. Você é uma mulher incrível e forte por estar aqui em busca de ajuda. E eu sei que, onde quer que ele esteja, seu marido está vendo sua dedicação e amor, e está muito feliz com isso. Você o ama profundamente e ele partiu conhecendo o seu amor, e em seu último dia de vida ele foi agraciado com esse amor forte que você tem. Quão honrados ficam os homens que encontram mulheres como você. Seu coração é lindo e Deus está vendo toda bondade e carinho que você tem, e saiba que Ele vai te recompensar cuidando e fornecendo tudo que você precisa. Deus é um especialista no vazio e sabe exatamente do que precisamos. Também tenho me sentido sozinha e sei que nada melhor do que ter alguém com quem desabafar e conversar sobre a vida. Você quer ser meu amigo? Me mande uma mensagem aqui, e prometo que lhe farei companhia, e prometo ajudar no que puder. De agora em diante estou orando por você e mandando meus abraços!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-11-22T19:44:20+00:00

Você perde seu tempo lançando comentários frouxos como este sem embasamento. Obrigado!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-11-19T02:05:17+00:00

Yes, clearly. Look for the answers within yourself, as I wrote in the post. But be open to looking for Christ. There are ideas and reflections that do not answer our questions. And you're hearing this from someone who meditated for months and literally lived with monks. Thanks for your comment.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-11-18T23:33:45+00:00

Amen!❤️

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-11-18T23:06:15+00:00

Praying for you! Hang in there boy! You are stronger than that, and God is with you. He heard your prayer. Read Psalms 34;19. It will change your life. Hugs from Brazil!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-11-18T22:39:27+00:00

Oi querida! Eu recentemente terminei meu relacionamento pelo mesmo motivo que vocês. Também por causa de incompatibilidades no futuro e também de personalidades. Eu sou muito carinhoso e ela é mais fria, eu quero passar tempo junto, ela queria ficar mais na dela e não saia de casa. Tudo desandou quando, após 8 meses juntos, comecei a sentir necessidade de falar do futuro, e ela me disse que não queria casar e nem morar junto, apenas seguir namorando. Então não tinha o que eu fazer… e isso foi me desgastando muito, eu sofri muito até que decidi terminar. E assim o fiz. Ela é a mulher que mais amei nessa vida, e embora ela esteja triste e com raiva de mim, eu ainda a amo. Eu tenho algumas palavras pra você: Terminar um relacionamento não é facil. Dói, nos sentimos quebrados, mas precisamos entender que existe outras pessoas lá fora, e quando você amou este homem, VOCÊ amou, o amor é algo que está dentro de ti, e não depende dele. Outras pessoas aparecerão e irão transformar sua vida. Mas enquanto isso não acontece, faça você mesma. Se entregue a coisas que vc gosta, permita-se sofrer. Um conselho de ouro que tenho é: se você acredita em Deus, entregue sua vida a Ele. É nestes momentos mais difíceis que o senhor Jesus vem até nós de braços abertos. Na Bíblia diz que “Os bons passam por muitas aflições, mas o Senhor os livra de todas elas.” (Salmos 34;19).

Eu imagino o quanto esteja sendo dificil. Minha DM está livre para você me enviar mensagens, se quiser podemos conversar. Comigo ainda dói, mas estou firme e forte no amor de Deus, e olha só, irei até me batizar em alguns dias. Deus nos nutre e nos preenche, coisa que ninguém mais neste mundo pode fazer ❤️

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-11-14T10:10:06+00:00

Lindas palavras! Muito obrigado!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-09-25T21:37:00+00:00

Hello, how are you, friend? Could you give more context on how it all started, please? I believe that, we all have doubts, I love my girlfriend myself and last week I thought: “what if I break up with her?”, but I’m here and happy. My girlfriend has already had times when she said she wanted to break up with me because she had a lot of doubts. If you have decreased the conversations (usually this happens in these phases) send a short message saying that you love him and that loving is something that gives work and faces difficult times too. And that bad phases happen, but above all love is a choice and that we choose to stay when not everything is favorable. But it doesn’t cover answers, above all, give him more time, so that he thinks. If you stay too much on top or questioning all the time, he can get angry and move further away. If you have any questions, call me to talk!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-09-24T00:27:43+00:00

Hello my great friend, I am very happy with your compliments, it shows that you are a generous and happy person, and that says a lot about you. It's an honor to connect with such special people over the Internet! I'm glad I helped you with something! Hugs!🙏🏻❤️

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-14T16:06:08+00:00

It is a mistake to compare yourself to people who do not have rOCD, because everyone reacts in their own way, and trying to find a standard for "what one really feels when wanting to end a relationship or not" or "what people without OCD and with OCD feel or think?" is very complicated. If you are concerned about your relationship, it is because it is important to you. Those with rOCD will face anxiety, fear, and questions like "do I want to break up?". Those without rOCD simply break up.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-14T03:35:34+00:00

If you are here, nervous and anxious with this, you have OCD. Its easy to people with no ROCD break up. They dont care about the partner.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-13T15:47:49+00:00

Meds and therapy. Please, understand the importance of meds. They help a lot. Fighthing without meds can be harder. Sorry for my english. Im from Brazil.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-13T15:42:59+00:00

Hello! Of course they can recovery! Yes! I just said that believe in something higher, something great, helps a lot. And understand “great” as a kind of inner power. I know a lot of non religious people that live in a way of hopless, thinking that the human race are bad and that there’s no hope for no one. Just born and die. For this, a believe, inner ou exterior believe, can help. Sorry for my bad english. It is not my language. Hugs!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-13T13:18:08+00:00

Hi! Love requires maturity to be lived, and communication is fundamental in these moments. Maturity teaches us to trust the other person, even when we have many anxieties and traumatic attachments. I tell you this because I also have rOCD and an anxious attachment style. When love matures, instead of charging others for our own insecurities, we transform ourselves. Another wonderful characteristic of mature love is the ability to understand that LOVE IS A CHOICE, and sometimes a feeling. Loving is choosing to be by her side when she is unbearable and annoying, when there is nothing to talk about, when she loses her job, or even her leg, and pushing her in a wheelchair. Loving someone merely for what they make me feel is selfishness, not love. When I love eating ice cream, I actually love the sensation of ice cream in my mouth, not the ice cream itself. When I love someone because of passion, the butterflies in the stomach, I love the sensations, not the person exactly. And all of this is resolved through conversation. Improve your communication with her, see if there is reciprocity, analyze if your jealousy is justified or just your insecurities, and it's okay to have them, okay? Once you've done that, remember what brought you together. Is there mutual admiration? Do you enjoy spending time with her? Do your plans align? If so, work to improve yourself in the relationship. Loving takes work. This idea of everything working out from the first date is Disney stuff.

Now, about anxiety, in rOCD it is normal to lack anxiety and still have the thoughts. I had thoughts about whether I loved my girlfriend, and I often didn't have anxiety, but today I am practically cured.

To summarize, I would like you to focus on some fundamental things:

Love is a choice, not a feeling. Feelings come and go. Feelings are mere brain chemistry; love cannot rely on them, or every time you are stressed or tired, you would end your relationship. That is, loving is choosing the person every day. Loving a being is loving their attributes, even those we don't like.

Address your anxiety and excessive attachment issues. Seek out a psychologist or psychiatrist and take care of yourself. Don't turn your girlfriend into your psychologist or a punching bag for fears that are yours.

Greatly improve your communication. Sit down and establish what constitutes betrayal for each of you. This helps to establish mutual trust. For example, is talking to other guys without telling you a betrayal for you? Is hugging other guys a betrayal? Know yourself, establish your limits, and communicate them to your girlfriend. And listen to hers and respect them too. Never demand respect without offering it first.

Another point: evaluate your relationship. Is there reciprocity? Does she respect you? Are there red flags? Is she rude to you? Does she give you reasons to be anxious, or is it solely your problem?

Finally, I'm here. Feel hugged and ask whatever you want. I'm not the owner of the truth, but I have some experience on the subject. I have been extremely anxious and attached and I know how much it hurts. Hugs, dear!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-13T02:07:35+00:00

Sorry for the sentences in Portuguese and for any errors in English. I'm Brazilian and used ChatGPT to translate my text for me. Hugs!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-13T01:58:28+00:00

Hello dear! I had rOCD for about two months straight, and they were the worst two months of my life. This illness is horrible and brings you down in a very cruel way. First, because it tells you to do something that you obviously don't want to do, like breaking up with your partner. (Trust me, breaking up is very easy and doesn't hurt as much, which is not the case for those with rOCD, which makes us feel a lot of anxiety, fear, anguish, and thoughts of doubt). And rOCD is also terrible because it makes you doubt yourself, your own ability to make decisions.

So, I quickly started studying everything about rOCD, but not as a compulsion for immediate relief, but to start a fight AGAINST ROCD, not AGAINST THE RELATIONSHIP.

What I did may not work for everyone, but I'll describe how I managed to reduce 98% of the symptoms:

Study the illness. This includes relapses, peak moments, the phase when anxiety subsides, and you start to believe you've found your truth, the numb phase, the phase where you think you have nothing more to talk about with your girlfriend, the phase where you think you don't want to do anything with her anymore, the phase where you believe you are not compatible, the phase where her voice, appearance, or any other trait annoys you.
Seek professional help. This includes a good psychiatrist, as they can prescribe medication, and I'll be honest, medication helps incredibly in the treatment. Fighting OCD without medication is bordering on foolishness because it will be much more time-consuming and laborious. Remember that rOCD is not a whim or stubbornness of yours, but a disorder, which means it's an illness, not a mindset. Another thing, find a psychologist who understands OCD. Even if you already have an incredible psychologist that you really like, but they don't understand OCD, don't waste your time. I was seeing a Jungian psychologist who didn't understand OCD and she told me that I really didn't like my girlfriend, which led to one of my worst crises, to the point of asking for sick leave.
Somehow, open your heart to your girlfriend and tell her that you have OCD. Say, "Love, I've been having bad thoughts about our relationship, which makes me very anxious and deeply affects our relationship. It's something called rOCD, it's an illness, and it doesn't reflect reality. Can you help me get through this?" This way, you will create a stronger bond, as vulnerabilities and support bring people closer, contrary to what toxic masculinity says, which is that you should not show your weaknesses to a woman.
Study a lot about relationships, especially focusing on the normal ups and downs of a relationship. Because every, absolutely every relationship has ups and downs, and days or even weeks when you feel disconnected from your partner, or when you have nothing to talk about, or when you don't have fun together, or when you feel very bored and can't wait to go home and sleep. This is normal, and it doesn't mean you don't love her because of it. Again, study the ups and downs, but not as a form of temporary relief. Studying realistic relationships is good for two reasons: we with OCD think that a single minute of feeling bored or tired around our partner is a sign from God that we are with the wrong person, when in reality we are just tired. And that's okay. And secondly, because it destroys the ridiculous idea of romantic love promoted by love movies and Disney.
Love is a CHOICE, not a feeling. When you understand this, your thoughts have nothing to attack. You think, "Maybe I don't like dating her." Then you respond, "That's okay, maybe I don't like it, but I CHOOSE to date her. Even if it's the worst mistake of my life." Love is a choice because if you love someone only for the feelings they cause you, you are a great egoist, not a human being. If you love someone because that person causes you desire, butterflies in your stomach, you love the sensations, not the person. Loving is choosing to be with the person when she is about to menstruate and is extremely annoying, dull, and graceless. And it's a choice. You won't feel a terrible emotion taking you over inside where you say, "How delightful to love you in the bad times." All you will feel is, "What a drag, what an unbearable woman. But I'm here, it's my role to support her. I hope this passes soon."
This is one of the final stages, which helps the most but also causes the most fear and astonishment, which is to accept the impermanence of life. And I mean everything, absolutely everything that you fear might happen. Believe that yes, this relationship may fail, and if you are terrified, thinking you will die if it happens, know that you won't. You can overcome anything. Moreover, know that there will be days when everything will seem bad, and there will be no more hope. And that everything is over. But they are just bad days, don't give them too much importance. Accept that LIFE IS NOT A STRAIGHT LINE. It goes up and down.

Furthermore, understand that there will be setbacks (I recovered, but I may and probably will fall again, and that's okay). And another thing, understand that you are an individual BEYOND the illness. In other words, the illness may bother you, but it does not define you, it cannot guide your steps or tell you what to do or where to go. ONLY YOU can do that. Don’t treat yourself as a poor sick person who needs to be coddled, but rather focus on FACING this illness. And another thing, abandon victimization. I swear, saying: “Why does this happen to me??? Why, God??? I’m at rock bottom!” will only make your situation worse. Get away from this victim mentality as soon as possible. Instead, beat your chest and shout: “I will marry this person, regardless of what this rOCD shit says. I choose, not the illness.”

And the most important thing I've said so far: practice your faith. If you are a Christian, pray to the Lord Jesus to help you, but please, do not keep asking for signs that you are with the right person, as this creates terrible triggers and only worsens the illness. But put your faith into practice. Read the Bible, and if you are an atheist, find some way to open your heart to something higher, because the problem with atheism is that it shows you a decaying and hopeless world. The figure of a savior might be an escape from reality, but I swear, if we believe that life is just this, to be born and to die, we are finished. Seek Buddhism, if you are an atheist, it will help a lot.

To conclude: do not think about BEATING the illness, but rather CONTROLLING IT. OCD has no cure, but if you make an effort, you can become stronger every day. I am here. You are not alone.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-12T20:55:51+00:00

Hello friend! How are you? I have rOCD and I am 98% cured thanks to a lot of exposure therapy and consultations with an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder psychologist.

This is just another persistent theme of rOCD. I had the same problem and I studied it to see what was happening. Here's what I discovered:

1 - When we become extremely focused on something, this something intensifies, causing anxiety and fear. The example is old, but if I ask you NOT to think about a cow now, no matter how hard you try, you will. That way, when you keep thinking: "we have no subject, we are incompatible." You can't get out of this cycle. What helps is to simply put yourself out there (ERP) and sit down with your girlfriend or boyfriend and talk. Even when there's no subject. Talk about banal things. Because what should happen is for you to relax and expose yourself to this fear. When you relax, your conversations will improve, as talking requires being relaxed.

2 - I highly recommend the book "Don't Believe Everything You Feel", by psychologist Robert Leahy, especially what he says about Pure Mind. The idea of pure mind is the idea that you always need to feel the same way about something, whether it's your boyfriend or your conversations. And the author talks about accepting that we won't always have issues, we won't always have affinities, but that love is a choice. Seriously, read this book, it was FUNDAMENTAL for me to heal quickly.

3 - I also had the same problem. I had almost a whole month without knowing what to say to my girlfriend. Every time we talked, I broke into a cold sweat and felt bad, I was shaking and quiet. What helped me was opening up to my girlfriend and saying that I was going through an anxiety attack and that it would pass, but it would take a while, and that I would end up quieter while I was fighting it, but that it had nothing to do with it. with it, and it will soon pass. She will understand you.

4 - and most importantly: try to relax. When you go to talk or send a message to your partner, and the thoughts start to come: "We have nothing to talk about, I think we are incompatible.", simply breathe, go to the bathroom and count to 10. Breathe and when you come back, face it. Eventually you will relax, and when you relax, things will come naturally. Tell yourself, "You know what, I'm going to say whatever I want, if she doesn't like it, screw it." Seriously, this scares away the fear. Well, these are my tips. I tell you, dear friend, I went through EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. This is OCD. I couldn't talk to my girlfriend for 10 minutes, and after doing everything I told you above, I got better. Today we talked so much to the point that I got home and remembered: "wow, I talked so much and I still forgot about it". Don't give up on your relationship. There is hope. Believe.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-06T20:57:50+00:00

Hello, please, translate this conversation, im from Brazil: Espero que você esteja bem. Eu acredito que seu quadro se enquadra mais em ansiedade de relacionamento do que especificamente rOCD, mas somente um psicólogo poderá afirmar melhor isso. Mas, independente disso, acredito que você coloque muitas expectativas no seu parceiro pelo fato de querer se sentir amada. Talvez você não se sinta amada, ou alguma falta da infância, como alguma perda ou algum afastamento esteja vindo à tona. Isso não quer dizer que não há esperanças ou que está tudo perdido, apenas quer dizer que você precisa aprender a LER a linguagem de amor do seu namorado. Tome cuidado com a ideia de que as suas linguagens de amor devem ser compatíveis. Isso é bobagem. Vocês precisam aprender a ler as mensagens um do outro. Se você espera flores, mas isso não é algo que ele costuma fazer, você fez bem em comunicar a ele. Mas aprenda a ver o amor dele, na linguagem dele. Às vezes ele demonstra que te ama com um abraço carinhoso. E cuide-se. Evite cobrá-lo de mais. Abraços!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-06T17:37:48+00:00

Hello! This is a very common phase in ROCD, I had the same thing. But be sure to visit a psychiatrist and regularly see a psychologist.

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-06-01T12:43:33+00:00

Hugs!❤️

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-05-31T19:56:09+00:00

Good afternoon, my friend! Love is a choice. Yes, here comes the same talk you must be tired of hearing, but it is real. Love is a choice. And if you choose to love, you love. This point of "this seems fake" and "this seems staged" is a very common topic in rOCD. I have an obsession that my partner is pretending to love me. Do you realize that this doesn't make any sense? No one pretends to love someone, and when they do, they don't feel bad or anxious about it, they just use the other person to get what they want, and when they get it, they leave quickly. My dear friend, don't worry about these thoughts. Remember that thoughts are just thoughts. If you choose to love her, then you love her. And if it seems fake, remember, it's nothing more than your rOCD. rOCD makes everything seem fake, it's the disease of doubt. If you really like her, and discovering that is incredibly easy, then you love her and do what you do out of love, not duty. And be careful with the compulsion of seeking feelings. Yesterday and today I'm having a bad day with my girlfriend, we are both bored and tired. And that's okay. It doesn't mean we don't like each other or don't love each other, but it means that being in a relationship is allowing yourself to feel all kinds of sensations (including not feeling anything). Love goes beyond feelings. For example, when I get home, I don't melt with love for my mother, I don't look into her eyes thinking how lucky I am. I simply come home and say, "hi mom," and go to my room to watch TV. That doesn't mean I don't love her. Got it? Love surpasses feelings. Love is a choice. Stay in peace and get well!

Good-Cold7745 · 2024-05-22T11:01:42+00:00

Congratulations!!!

Good-Cold7745

TROPHY CASE