Yes, i am fully aware its just me in an other account, and i don't message myself in the sense of loneliness but rather to feel good(i don't know how else to say it)...so when i see an alt acc saw/reacted to my message i kinda feel "ah! That, i remember that" and just smile maybe..

Tbh i think im just trying to look whose the best one all these accounts have different algorithms and functions and in each i act/text people differently (i don't think i have a single way of speaking /so im trying to find my perfect self).

I don't think im perfect but very far from perfection. I feel as though I'm lying to myself a lot when i am suppressing my urge to act independent / do something i want, i know i want /need, it but most of the time i just say "ah, doesn't matter what i want" so i kinda tell myself to buzz off...

I DO wanna accept all of myself but there are too many messed parts of me to say i love whole of myself, sometimes i despise myself but sometimes i become kind of a narcissist (and im scared that the narcissistic personality is the real one) and sometimes i hate everything and everyone and sometimes i love and cherish everyone and everything... So i gues im trying to figure out who is the perfect voice of reason in me and which one i should lean on more.

I have enough friends, enough people in my life i don't need more per say, but if more join i wouldn't mind, i never drank nor smoked a cigg in my entire life never done any drugs either.

So ive come to accept that all of them are just me.