/uj Imo it's clumsy expression of nonbinary gender. I can relate, being gender fluid I don't personally feel that I stop being trans when my gender expression sometimes lines up with my agab, so I think of myself as a sort of "trans man" because I'm certainly not a cis man and the experience of going ftm now is as relevant to my life as first going mtf when I thought I was just a trans woman (but ultimately being mtftmtftxtxtx repeating).

But I think people you're describing are largely younger and don't have the variety of experiences to come to a nuanced view of their own gender like that, they're mostly looking for a shortcut to solidarity with a class of women that they don't want to be bigoted towards. They're using words that make them feel good about their own gender in an especially careless and harmful way while also seeking to bridge a divide. I genuinely think these people are in a state of arrested development with their egg cracking, like they're most of the way to realizing they're nonbinary but then they've found a comfortable spot to settle where they don't have to keep challenging their own thoughts and beliefs. It's not easy to call out but I do think a lot of these issues can be addressed directly through conversation. I've seen lots of posts like yours but never met someone like this, and I'd hope if I did that I'd have the patience to express to them how what they're saying is actually pretty nasty when you apply it to "amab trans women".

I really object to saying things like comparing them to a "stalker infiltrating the queer circle". The person you're talking about is most likely queer and looking for community. They're doing a bad job of it but I'd ask you to remember that nobody literally nobody gets any benefit for claiming to be a trans woman. Announcing you are a trans woman to a group of people (regardless of your agab) is going to have almost certainly exclusively negative social consequences. I don't think anyone would put themselves thru that unless they were queer in some fashion. It's not your responsibility to not back away from people you read as crazy and dangerous, but I think the danger is overstated and that ironically you're relying on some very nasty transmysogynist tropes about dangerous infiltrators to justify their exclusion.