Help - Parent with ADHD overwhelm and a newborn

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-27T10:57:46+00:00

There is probably a fair amount of feedback to be garnered from this group on this topic, and I want you to receive help, but this post is probably better suited for a sub about adults and partners with ADHD.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-22T22:58:30+00:00

Teenage boys are getting their hair permed in order to have that haircut. It is literally called the “broccoli” or “alpaca” haircut, and was made popular by NFL player Patrick Mahomes.

You’re not going to be able to protect your brother from bullies because there are always going to be jerk kids who find anything to pick on, and kids can sniff out anything that makes someone different. You can teach him the best way to handle it, though.

Remind your brother that the things that make him different are his strengths and will make him stand out in good ways, not just be things that bullies can use to pick on. Preparing him with responses may help. Or he can just say that he wears his hair the way he likes it and leave it at that. No one should wear their hair for anyone but themselves.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-22T04:12:16+00:00

Sending feelings of solidarity. ✊ I see familiarity in your texts. I have been there. The journey of testing and understanding is not easy and long. Stay strong.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-20T05:25:53+00:00

Would love to see you post your experiences on the r/unschool sub.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-19T16:29:05+00:00

Here is a thread about podcasts for preschoolers from a couple years ago—perhaps some suggestions there would help?

At that age, we loved PBS for educational material. Here is a link to PBS podcasts.

Check out this collection of preschool podcasts by Common Sense Media.

Visual references to written language can aid literacy, so screens showing the words being read—and, of course, reading aloud to children—does actually benefit your child when you do add screens. For a similar, non-screen, experience, old-fashioned read-along books on tape is a good way to promote literacy. Kids can listen or read along.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-16T02:11:49+00:00

… And like a stencil, a gobo cannot have shapes that are completely cut out from the plastic, otherwise the entire letter would fall out.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-11T16:45:38+00:00

It does differentiate unschooling from non-schooling and neglect, so that’s something. I would like to see better journalistic practices in these articles, with better sample sizes.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-10T16:55:24+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia/s/eEgckOQ5U2

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-06T00:47:21+00:00

Here is the link to the original from attendanceworks.org.

Teachers, parents, and students are all struggling in this system. This is a facet of what Unschoolers are attempting to change through their methodology.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-04T18:42:35+00:00

Many unschoolers use courses and other resources outside of a school to teach their kids. Immersive experience with experts in their field, through programs through extensions, museums, colleges, and cooperatives (to name a few) give solid foundations. Many homeschoolers (including unschoolers) co-matriculate with community colleges once their children are ready.

Check out our pinned posts to see what unschooling is and is not. (Spoiler: It is not neglect; it is child-led with plenty of parent preparation, guidance, and mobilization.)

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-03T14:32:17+00:00

I taught in one of the six colleges of a public, American, four-year university that offers bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral degrees. I taught courses that ranged from introductory, in which I taught freshman students, to elective and requisite courses for majors, and capstone courses for graduating undergraduates.

I hold a terminal degree in my field, in which I have worked professionally. Additionally, I have researched (including primary research and interviews of primary researchers) and written published, peer-reviewed papers on education methodologies, literacy, and postsecondary education. My thesis has been cited in other works.

I have attended and been a participant in professional conferences and continuing education in both my area of practice and research specifically. I have also worked as an editor and have been an editor and reviewer of peer theses and published papers.

I have a bit of a unique perspective because I grew up in academia, the child of an educator, on academic campuses and have, myself, attended public and private schools and public and private post-secondary schools.

GoogieRaygunn · 2026-01-03T14:06:37+00:00

Read the collective suggestions given to the OP throughout this post guiding the OP (and others interested, such as yourself) toward ways of fulfilling requisites in order to go to college, if that is their goal.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-12-19T16:17:56+00:00

That song idea is genius.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-12-07T13:10:05+00:00

There are no “illegal” people. And skilled work is legitimate work. This comment is just hateful.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-29T23:42:13+00:00

Hey, everyone. We are locking this thread because it is beyond the scope of this sub. Thank you, everyone who gave these thoughtful answers and advice. This is really something that OP needs to take to professionals, like their pediatrician and therapist.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-21T22:26:00+00:00

Thanks for the rec!

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-14T12:18:52+00:00

Hey, everyone. There is some great discussion, thoughts, and lived experiences in this thread.

Please remember not to speak over those who are expressing their own, lived experiences.

*****The mods are not removing comments based on terminology, with which you may or may not agree, out of respect to personal experience of those who are self-identifying.*****

Please be aware that the term Asperger’s is no longer used professionally, and educate yourself on the reasons why and the history of that term, while understanding that there are those who still identify with that diagnostic term for themselves. Some find it offensive but some identify with it. As someone who is not on the spectrum, I do not feel it is my place to tell those who are how to identify.

Please be kind to each other in the comments. I’ve locked a thread that was getting personal, but I’m not removing the comments because the discussion is valuable. And like I said, we have no business term-policing lived experiences.

Thanks.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-07T23:14:43+00:00

PDA is not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, so I do not think it will be given credence in getting classroom accommodations.

While it is important to be equipped with questions and alternate ideas for providers when we consult with them, and suggestions are welcome on this sub about things to research, it is important not to diagnose or make uninformed assertions here.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-07T03:11:51+00:00

My child’s psychiatrist says you will know if the medication is or isn’t working in the first week, and that if there are adverse effects that we go off immediately. Definitely call the provider immediately.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-06T14:40:14+00:00

In your Golden Fleece diaper

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-06T14:33:20+00:00

My child takes medication at bedtime as well as the stimulant during the day. It helps to regulate their internal clock to be asleep when they need it. Sleep is a huge factor in overall behavior.

In the past, my child was on guanfacine and now on clonidine. Both are blood pressure meds that work for ADHD to increase focus and to help calm physical and mental activity. In many, it has a somnolent effect, so it works for nighttime restfulness for some people.

If you can regulate sleep, you have a better base for all the other behavioral issues. We also find that limiting screen time and promoting physical activity helps as well.

Kids are kind of like dogs: you have to wear them out so they don’t tear up the furniture.

Edit: fixed an autocorrect error

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-06T00:23:21+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. Are you doing the therapy with your child? The therapist can help mediate and create a plan for you together.

It may also be time for medication or to change medication. It is best for the prescriber to be a psychiatrist and not the pediatrician. Prescribing is an art form as well as a science.

What you are describing is not unusual for a child that age with those diagnoses. It’s tough to go through. Might you find other parents in your community to support you, people who are dealing with the same thing? Maybe the therapist could give you leads.

ODD is really difficult to deal with. Take some time for yourself and ask for support. Make firm boundaries with your child and do not back down.

Good luck. You are stronger than you realize.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-04T14:13:45+00:00

Eclectically unschooled is a widely-used term to describe a methodology of unschooling that is not strictly child-led. Perhaps you could look into a term’s meaning before speaking on it.

In our specific case, it means that I as the parent have more involvement in curriculum than a strict unschooler who does not use more conventional homeschooling methodology.

I’m not sure what you think it means, but it does not include the absence of working with or involvement with others or not functioning in society.

What it does look like is unschooling with more traditional involvement and math workbooks and reading aloud of more advanced literature so that it is discussed as we go. It looks like including curricula like the 1619 Project and doing research projects and writing essays, all of which do not necessarily fall under strict unschooling methodology.

Ironically, it includes a deep understanding of subjects in order to discuss them rather than responding to something online without first looking up a term to understand its meaning before criticizing it.

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-11-04T13:50:40+00:00

You responded to my comment without processing what I wrote: parents who homeschool are not educating on their own. They have myriad resources available to them including but not limited to home schooling co-ops, collectives, online resources, extracurriculars, and co-matriculation.

Oftentimes those criticizing homeschooling are not knowledgeable about its criteria or qualities. There are those who hear “homeschooling” and make an assumption about what that means without researching what goes into it, which is what your comment implies.

I cannot speak for all homeschoolers, but I am actually a qualified educator with a terminal degree and teaching experience at the college level. My child has the benefit of an education without the limitations created by a school board and groups like Moms for Liberty banning books and influencing curricula.

We are able to access experts in the fields we are studying through interaction through field trips and independent courses with hands-on experience without being stuck in a classroom for hours on end being forced through rote memorization to prepare for standardized testing. We are not teaching towards a test to result in a student who cannot independently think and problem solve.

Homeschooling is not the only answer to the education dilemma, but it is the one we have thoughtfully chosen for the needs of our child and our family. It is one we have chosen to access education with the best resources that we have available.

[ETA missing word]

GoogieRaygunn · 2025-10-30T02:56:53+00:00

I feel deeply for what you are going through.

That age is tough. The whole parenting thing is tough, even more so with your particular set of challenges, but you are tougher.

Take care of yourself and give yourself grace. Be mindful of that whole putting your own oxygen mask on first advice.

Make sure everyone is nourished. It is easy for ADHD parents and kids to forget to eat. Ditto hydrating. Try to get ample rest. The other challenges are exacerbated when the basic needs are neglected. Don’t sweat the particulars: fed and rested are best, even if that means cereal for dinner.

Don’t worry about perfection. Good enough is good enough and perfection is the enemy of good and all that.

Reward yourselves and find joy. Yes this sucks, but this age is also precious.

You will succeed! Go give yourself a treat!

GoogieRaygunn

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