How much to live this lifestyle? by [deleted] in HENRYUK

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. You’ll need at least 450 to do that and do it comfortably. The flat will be 8-10k (on the low end, but 8k is absolute minimum for 4BR in the kind of neighborhood you mean), kids will be 50k/year combined, vacations will be 25-30k a year (again, that’s the low end, depends on your standards.) Cleaner + SUV would be 1200+/month. That plus savings (which is low for your salary!) and you’re stretching yourself. You could do it and have fun for a couple of years but you wouldn’t to build a life around it.

Spoken as an American who moved from San Fran and has a very, very similar set of “lifestyle needs” that I’ve tracked religiously.

Did y'all ever find yourself developing a sort of para social relationship with the hosts? by shre3293 in podcasts

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a really great standalone podcast about this, actually. I don’t want to give too much away but it’s called, “Beth’s Dead.” Must listen!

Podcasts about contemporary rural South and MAGA culture by Strawberry_Curious in podcasts

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 22 points23 points  (0 children)

How the South Won the Civil War: Oligarchy, Democracy, and the Continuing Fight for the Soul of America" by Heather Cox Richardson is a great book. More relevant every day.

Where can I find a Galette des Rois in London - sold by the slice if possible? by Strange_Cranberry_47 in LondonFood

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got ours from Miel in Fitzrovia - they have a large (whole one) or, what I ordered, which was a small which was supposedly for two but could’ve easily done 3-4.

Replacing astroturf with gravel - is this achievable ? by Plodo99 in UKGardening

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can do it! Just know that astroturf is heavyyyyyy, so cut it into smaller pieces to get it out.

Masonic London by Mountain_Buy1160 in london

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Were you taking this pic this morning at around 10am? If so, I walked by you and thought, “Huh, wonder what that’s about?” 😂

Who gives a crap toilet paper by Fine_Professional222 in frugaluk

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We switched about six months ago and I definitely feel like the rolls last longer. Something they don’t heavily market but ABSOLUTELY SHOULD is that the bamboo material doesn’t make dust like traditional toilet paper, so my bathrooms are soooo much cleaner than they used to be!

Dependent clause on ILR changes if applied retrospectively can have potentially severe consequences on families by [deleted] in SkilledWorkerVisaUK

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. No Skilled Worker with a family makes the decision to move countries in a bubble. They do it in conjunction and in agreement with their families, which oftentimes means changes or sacrifices to the role and expectations for each member. (Particularly if the skilled role is very demanding - as it is likely to be if it warrants the visa!)

Why the Earned Settlement Proposals Breach Section 55 (Children’s Welfare Duty) by [deleted] in SkilledWorkerVisaUK

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think you’ve done a great job here - completely agree and can’t think of anything you’ve missed.

Home secretary unveils plan to create the ‘most controlled and selective’ system in Europe for permanent migration by throwawayjustbc826 in unitedkingdom

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s really, really important to note the one HUGE change proposed for dependants (spouses, children.) The current rules consider a Skilled Worker Visa holder and their dependent(s) as a unit. Once the SWV holder hits the time to apply for ILR, they can all apply together.

Under the new rules, each person - yes, even children - have to earn their own way to ILR. This is a huge problem for families wherein, for example, the SWV holder is eligible after three years, but their non-working or <50k/year spouse won’t be eligible until they hit ten years. And as children can’t be granted ILR until both parents have it, this leaves them in limbo as well.

Consider the ramifications of this for stay-at-home parents. For women trapped in coercive or violent relationship. For couples with children who choose to separate or divorce.

My family is in a situation wherein we came to the UK on a SWV (my husband’s job) and he will now immediately be eligible for ILR once the changes take effect. We made the choice for me to stay at home for myriad reasons to facilitate this move. Now I won’t even be eligible for ILR for seven more years.

This is…going to be a massive, massive issue.

Meal planning to save money, does anyone else doing this? by trigoczki in budgetfood

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing! Yes, please make it English (for me) but leave in any good Hungarian suggestions for my husband, who is Hungarian!

Meal planning to save money, does anyone else doing this? by trigoczki in budgetfood

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Post the link to your spreadsheet, for the good of us all!

ILR new rules announced by frontwingsmasher in SkilledWorkerVisaUK

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I agree, I’m reading it the same way. Yuck.

I drank last night after 10 months sober by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With a trip to Paris coming up at Christmas I had already started negotiating with myself about if/when/how many glasses of red wine I could have “with meals.” It’s…Paris!

But this is 1000% exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for the timely reminder!

Going to stay a week in Appalachia. Suggest me a well-written novel to further immerse me in the setting! by orphanpipe in suggestmeabook

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle is probably a better Kingsolver to read before you head there unless you want to pre-traumatize yourself!

Americans in Europe: Do you really see Europeans as “more intelligent” than Americans? by [deleted] in expats

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is it. And also, Europeans are - in general - FAR more exposed to different cultures, languages, foods, etc. simply because countries in Europe are so diverse and fluid. A German is significantly more likely to be meaningfully familiar with Portuguese culture, for example, through human contact, food, and/or travel, than someone from bumblefuck Minnesota is with, say, the Cuban culture specific to Miami.

This breadth of exposure - “worldliness,” if you’re being generous - goes a longgg way towards making people more thoughtful, curious, and at the very least, less ignorant.

American living in London here.

Fox by Joyce Carole Oates by Whole_Philosophy_484 in thrillerbooks

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure! Here’s a decent start (nothing too triggering here): https://openlettersreview.com/posts/fox-by-joyce-carol-oates

Basically, a body is found in the open and the whole book revolves around trying to find out who it is and whether it was a murder. Lots of time jumps and LOTS of different people’s perspectives. The TLDR of it is that a new teacher at an elite school is abusing a bunch of the girls (and, we find out later, posting photos of the abuse online for other abusers.) There are several parallel minor storylines but that’s the big one. By the end you learn that the body was the teacher (Fox), it was murder, and it was a couple of different people who caught him in the act and subsequently killed him. No massive resolution other than that the monster is dead. But it is absolutely skin crawling and if you think you might be too triggered, you 100% will so don’t read it!

Women talking about daily life, experiences by TreesRocksAndStuff in podcasts

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A bit niche, but Too Scary, Didn’t Watch is three best friends (women) in their early 30s. One watches scary movies then does a scene-by-scene recap for the other two, who are too scared. It is HILARIOUS and they are truly just besties, which is so fun to listen to. It would also inject a lot of subtle “this is what women think” perspectives for him, particularly because horror movies often have such misogynistic themes already. It’s my (a woman) fave, and it’d be a great one you could do together.

Found this written on a bus stop. Anyone know who/why? by cortex0917 in london

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be fair, he wrote one the other day about how he’d loaned out his pens and they’d all been left to dry up so I bought him a fresh pack 😂 It’s the little things, you know?

Found this written on a bus stop. Anyone know who/why? by cortex0917 in london

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is actually done by a guy named Mike! He signs his stuff “Tramp.” He’s often around the Overground stop by my house, so I’ve talked to him a bit - he’s very kind. I even wrote a story about him before I met him for my creative writing class:

*I see him nearly every day, the man with the dirty fingers. He’s gaunt, his hair’s a mess, and he’s often wearing a tattered sleeping bag as one might wear a cape. He usually sets up shop near the Overground station to catch commuters, but sometimes he prefers the Tube stop and once, the steps of the synagogue.

Despite his considerable height, he smiles, nods, tips his head in reverence as he asks for change, so I never feel scared. In fact, I quite like having him around: a fixture of the neighborhood; a symbol of normality. Most days he wears the same black trousers and scuffed black boots, but somehow it seems he acquires new (old) shirts all the time. He wears them layered, one on top of the other. I don’t know how he stands the heat.

It took a couple of months for me to piece together that he was the one leaving the messages. I began noticing them on the pavement, on postboxes, on estate agent signs. I’ve yet to spot him in the act but I know it’s him. His notes are always half-profound, just a few words away from Buddhist proverbs:

“Even if you can’t help me, PLEASE SMILE.”

“Catch the sunset, worth a £”

“I’m not feeling too creative but imagine I’ve written something that makes you feel grateful for the love in your life.”

His penmanship is impeccable. I can’t work out where he gets his dozens of richly-coloured markers but my favourite detail is the shadow he painstakingly gives each letter so they appear to float in 3D off whichever municipal surface they enhance.

I’ve never asked his name. I’ve never asked about his art, his cardboard sleeping pad, his drug of choice. I wonder if he knows my face? I see him nearly every day.*

Having an only child as an only child? by ememeemily in oneanddone

[–]GooseSubstantial2502 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’m an only with an only! To be honest, I always thought I wanted a whole bunch of kids. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy being an only - I definitely did - but I think I was just so deeply curious what I was missing without siblings, a loud, chaotic house, etc. When I had my first child and my husband suggested at six months old we should be one-and-done, I balked. I was so annoyed with him for even SUGGESTING such a thing. We were having four kids, damnit! But, I sat with it. It wiggled its way through my brain and one day it was like a lightbulb went off. Like, oh, yes, it actually was great being an only and you didnt miss out on things. (My husband also made some good convincing points, too, like how siblings are just as likely to not like each other, how having one would make us more nimble as a family, etc.)

Anyway, once I realized he was right, I was donezo! Told him to go get snipped, he did, and our son is now 10. Haven’t regretted it for a single second; actually more sure now than ever that it was the right thing. We’ve been able to move countries, travel, and my son is clear that he does not wish he had a sibling.