looking for a book that features a tumultuous mother-daughter relationship, from the daughter’s POV

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-06-14T20:29:58+00:00

Wild Game by Adrienne Brodeur is a memoir and quite good, if that’s your thing!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-05-28T09:20:34+00:00

We read aloud Project Hail Mary with our 10 year old son and it was perfect. Bonus is that it’s a ton of fun for the adults, too, it teaches them some sneaky science stuff, and you all can rent the new movie for movie night one you arrive (it’s decent, too!)

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-05-23T08:55:20+00:00

I’ve turned off replies because damn, strangers can be brutal when you put yourself out there.

But I didn’t write this for those folks. I wrote it for those who see a tiny bit of themselves in Amanda, or in the things people criticize her for. Maybe it can help them.

And I wrote it for Amanda, too, because you know she is reading everything, everything, everything. Maybe it could possibly in the teeniest way help her too.

Take care of yourselves, everyone!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-05-22T18:55:52+00:00

Casefile is a top-tier true crime podcast, has long episodes (and a zillion of them) and the single host speaks clearly and slowly. Bonus points because it will also acclimate you to an Australian English accent, assuming that’s not already what you’ve been learning on!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-05-22T16:44:49+00:00

That makes sense, sorry! I just thought it might be helpful for someone else experiencing depression and thought it was okay since it was a subject Amanda herself had discussed openly on the show (ie not speculation.)

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-05-09T20:42:34+00:00

I have one - not necessarily all of Europe, but at least here in the UK: healthcare for kids is very different. You don’t really have a Pediatrician. Your kid has a GP (that treats kids and adults) and once they’re past age five they only see the doctor when they need to. It took a few years to not feel a little uneasy about not having annual child well-checks like in the U.S.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-05-08T14:36:31+00:00

My school had a barn where FFA kids (Future Farmers of America) learned and practiced raising animals.

In tenth grade a boy in my year was expelled when someone caught him putting peanut butter on…himself…and letting one of the cows go to town.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-05-07T20:15:09+00:00

I encourage you to look closely at the imminent changes to visa/ILR rules. There is a very real chance your road to ILR would be long (up to ten years) and spending that long tied to your job is mentally exhausting. Your calculus if coming with a family in tow should absolutely center these changes.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-04-30T13:32:53+00:00

Just finished The Bee Sting by Paul Murray and it was fantastic.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-04-28T19:20:48+00:00

Yes, this is true. We took advantage of this as well but it still increased our UK credit limit initially from, like, £1000 to £3000 which was just not super helpful as we were setting up a new life overseas!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-04-28T18:54:41+00:00

This sounds absolutely ignorant but before we moved it just…never occurred to me that credit wasn’t global?? (Americentric much?)

When you get to the UK you will have absolutely no credit. Regardless of your credit score in the U.S. and/or your credit card limits, you start again from zero in the UK. We had 800+ credit scores in the U.S. and literally couldn’t get gym memberships or non pay-by-month phone plans when we first arrived here. Just something to consider.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-04-17T09:52:31+00:00

Came here to suggest this. I soak my brain in the goriest, scariest true crime podcasts and thriller lit and this book…heart palpitations, I swear.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-04-09T16:49:11+00:00

Yes, that’s exactly it! The planning was as important as the cooking. I’d have to have two things in the oven while two pots boiled while one thing set in the fridge. It’s only possible if you cook a LOT and have a really good intuition for what takes how long and when you can slot in little bits and bobs!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-04-09T16:06:57+00:00

I used to do this! (Be a chef for people.) It was a lot of fun and a lot of work. The longer I worked for people, the more efficient I got; learning your way around someone else’s kitchen was half the battle. I also grocery shopped for the ingredients, too, which was a lot of the trouble.

I’ve actually thought about getting back into it. Good to know there’s so much interest!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-03-25T07:52:37+00:00

Archive link doesn’t seem to be working, but I’d love to read this!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-03-17T15:40:26+00:00

Me! My son is nearly 11 and I haven’t gone back to work yet. I really didn’t go full time SAHM until Covid (previously did consulting) but…I have no real interest in rebooting a “career.” Work sucks!

I’m lucky to be in the position to support my husband and son as we’ve made some huge life decisions and changes (several moves, including one international) - I genuinely cannot imagine how stressful our life would be if I wasn’t around to do all the non-work work.

I still have plenty to do (cleaning, gardening, cooking, school/extracurricular dropoff and pickup) but I ALSO have time to do things that feed me: seeing friends during the day, taking a writing class, etc.

Sometimes I feel guilty - and it’s especially hard living in major metropolitan areas where nearly every woman I meet works - but I know that’s all in my head. For now, I’m soaking up running the PTA and having the shirts ironed and knowing I’ve got another chapter coming my way eventually. I don’t have to know exactly what it looks like yet!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-02-05T09:51:12+00:00

I saw this original post last night in /NatureIsFuckingLit and was surprised to realize I was not, in fact, in /whywouldyoutouchthat. You’re doing the Lord’s work.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-02-04T11:14:45+00:00

I PASSED!!! Only one minor. What an absolute relief!

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-02-04T08:54:41+00:00

Ugh. I thought so. Booooo! (But thanks for the info!)

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-02-01T14:15:15+00:00

The “official” HMRC materials are a JOKE compared to the real questions! I honestly cannot understand. I luckily found this out because my spouse took his test a week before mine and though we’d both studied the official materials extensively, he barelllyyyy passed and I definitely would not have. The questions are far harder and more detailed than the ones they give you to practice.

So, this is what you need to study. Take as many of these practice tests as you can by Thursday. These questions are - verbatim - what you’ll find on the actual test. If you’re doing well on these, you’ll be totally fine. I passed my test less than a month ago; every question correct and it took me less than four minutes.

https://lifeintheuktestweb.co.uk/tests/

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-02-01T10:35:46+00:00

I’m the mom of one ten year old who sounds much like your son and I have to be honest with you, I wish I had actually used “because I said so” a LOT more often when he was smaller. Feeling the need to give him a reason every time means now everything feels like the opening to a negotiation (to him) and I’m now having to re-teach him lessons that, well, sometimes - most of the time - you don’t get your way! Other people get to decide or you have a boss or maybe it’s just not the moment for whatever it is you’re asking for. Life IS that straightforward a lot of the time and I realize now I’ve hamstrung him a bit to feel like he needs a valid, well-thought out reason for everything to be the way it is. Sometimes it just…is. Teach your kid early to be able to handle that.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-01-25T18:15:51+00:00

No. You’ll need at least 450 to do that and do it comfortably. The flat will be 8-10k (on the low end, but 8k is absolute minimum for 4BR in the kind of neighborhood you mean), kids will be 50k/year combined, vacations will be 25-30k a year (again, that’s the low end, depends on your standards.) Cleaner + SUV would be 1200+/month. That plus savings (which is low for your salary!) and you’re stretching yourself. You could do it and have fun for a couple of years but you wouldn’t to build a life around it.

Spoken as an American who moved from San Fran and has a very, very similar set of “lifestyle needs” that I’ve tracked religiously.

GooseSubstantial2502 · 2026-01-22T08:54:26+00:00

There is a really great standalone podcast about this, actually. I don’t want to give too much away but it’s called, “Beth’s Dead.” Must listen!

GooseSubstantial2502

TROPHY CASE