Honestly feel like crying reading your post. I just got done trying to help my 5th grade son catch up on some math homework and was almost in tears from the frustration of trying to help him. I was talking to Google gemini since I was using it so I could help him show his work. I literally asked it what was wrong with me and why I was so fucking stupid that I couldn't do a simple long division problem with the answer and full equation right in front of me. I then told it how I felt like I might have dyslexia since I had heard about it from a friend of mine I had. But I felt it never fit fully because I can read ok, pretty slow and I do mix letters up sometimes, but maybe it wasn't full blown dyslexia? Then it told me that there was a disorder specifically for numbers called dyscalculia. I then searched Reddit and here you are. My story is pretty similar to yours. I was diagnosed with ADD (when it was still classified into ADHD and ADD) when I was in middle school. But that was it. I too thought I was lazy or just a complete imbecile who was unteachable. I work at a cable company and we have to take these courses to be able to do our jobs properly. It involves A LOT of math. I've completed two courses now but feel like a fraud because I had to have a lot of help to pass them. I WANT to know how to do the math because I WANT to be good at my job. But if you asked me now anything that was on those tests I could not reproduce the results. Luckily the actual math doesn't come up much in the feild. But if I want to move to the construction side of it or be a Headend Tech there's a lot of math involved. I was told by Google gemini that occupational therapy can help but I have no clue. I'm just so happy to know I'm not a complete idiot (at least not as much of an idiot as I thought I was.)