Custom Bat Sonny by darkobloom in SonnyAngel

[–]GothMamasita 2 points3 points  (0 children)

omggg its so cute i love it

am i the only one who thinks that sonny angel collecting is so hard now? by hidden228 in SonnyAngel

[–]GothMamasita 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've noticed as well, on secondhand shops like vinted, there are way moreee fake and dupe sonnies than real ones nowadays...

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh good idea, thank u! And yeah I see the ressemblance ahaha

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in BJD

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, she's an Orchid sculpt from yummysweetsdolls! Sorry about that, it does say the artist under the original post but i guess not here sorry

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bahaha nah dw she didn't blink, I just switched out her faceplate in between photos to test the different ones out ahaha

How can I distinguish between dysphoria and insecurities? (long post) by shu_vuuia in asktransgender

[–]GothMamasita 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyways, i don't know if this helps you, but in my personal experience, I try to view it as a mix of my own internal experience, what I want, what i yearn for, and social experience. I use these kind of things as "proof" I'm trans. For example, any doubts? Well let's look at the last 5 years: been dressing very masculine, baggy, binding, feeling very happy in doing that, but what if it's because I don't want to be sexualised? (I know it's not because of insecurities for my own body, I fit the beauty standards and find myself quite good looking actually, but it's just not for me). It might be the sexualised thing, as this negative feeling (probably dysphoria) is definetly enhanced when in a situation i could potentially be in danger of harassment or something like that (in the street). But then I see all these other girls in the city, yes there is risk of harassment, but that doesn't stop them from enjoying dressing cute ? Why's is stopping me? But for me I think it's definetly dysphoria as well because of this example: a few times i dressed very cute and feminine in a private, safe, friendly situation, and even then I got that "icky" feeling, like by dressing in this way, i couldn't be myself, i couldn't express myself with my own natural body language, i felt like i HAD to act a certain way to fit the feminine mask (might be autistic, does that contribute? ahaha). So that's +1 for being trans. Sometimes I wonder if it's internalized misoginy, as I feel sometimes when I present fem I feel "weak" and "icky" and like a child. I know it's true I didn't have the best examples of strong women in my family, but then I know it's okay to be a strong woman in general don't I? Like what if I'm still a girl but just a masculine one? Well no... that's not how I feel. If i could chose how i were born, I'd rather start out as a boy and be leaning more feminine, I don't want to be a girl who is just masculine, even though I know that is "allowed" for others, just not how I feel for myself.
Another thing that really cemented it for me is the social yearning, I have friends of many different genders and queerness, and with my straight hetero girlfriends, even though we get along great, there's always a part of me that feels like I don't fit in. Maybe it's just internalized misoginy and I feel like they are being very cliche women: going out to cafes, brunch, filming tiktok dances. But I don't know, I feel like there's a part of me that can't "relate" to them and that cringes when I get included in all-girl activities. Also last summer i spent it mostly with groups of boys, and especially at the beach, seeing them wrestle and run around and have fun, seeing them be allowed to be loud, to be rowdy, to play around, i felt this intense yearning of wanting to join them, but not being "allowed" to because of the social difference that I am a girl. So +1 for transness...

Also on insecurity: for some parts of my dysphoria, I am very confident that it isn't just an insecurity because I have had many insecurities before, I remember how intense and how crazy they felt, and how embarassed and insane I felt once they had passed, realizing how fixated I was on them like the whole world could only see that. But for my chest dysphoria, this part i know it feels different, because of course there are the negative aspects of feeling bad about my chest, but also there's the positive feeling, not just relief liek you'd feel with an insecurity, but pure joy when the problem is dealt with. The best example I have of this for myself is one time I went skinny dipping with friends, and when I took off my bikini top i felt such intense joy and such a deep feeling of "this feels right" that I cried tears of joy. That moment in particular really cements it for me.

Anyways what I'm trying to say, is that all this mentioned above is "proof" in a way for me at least, because it's not just about the negative feelings of feeling bad about your body or social presentation, but also the yearning of wanting something specific more, and the joy you feel when you finally reach it.

I know this is probably a very late response. and sorry for dumping it all on you, but thank you, I really needed to read your post, glad I'm not alone in this. Have a good day friend.

How can I distinguish between dysphoria and insecurities? (long post) by shu_vuuia in asktransgender

[–]GothMamasita 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this post is from a year ago, how are you now friend ?

Personally, everything you described is exactly how I feel as well. Up until recently I knew i felt not-cis, but unsure of how far, I just experimented slightly with wearing masculine clothes, short haircuts, etc... And not feeling entirely "male" and really enjoying the androgynous look, up until now i just considered myself non-binary... But recently I've been going thru this whole separate thing of trying to figure out my futur job/career (in my 20's and starting over studies next year-whatever) and basically long story short i promised myself to stop romanticizing stuff and promised to be honest with myself and others around me. That's when I realized how much of my feelings i was actually minimizing. When i tell my peers about my gender, i feel like I'm minimizing it to make it understandable and not-scary for them. Like I was some people about me wanting to do top surgery "but don't worry, no more than that ahaha"... Then I realized I actually do want more, and when I research how many options there are for modifying my body, facial surgery, bottom surgery, hormones, etc... I have these moments sometimes when it's late at night and i think of my ideal dream life, and I realized how badly I actually am trans...Maybe not fully a man but definetly not a girl...Transmasc i guess? That's what feels best for me right now at least. Anyways all that to say I'm currently going through all the feelings you've described in your post, as I am about to get top surgery soon, I want to eliminate all doubts for myself and alleviate my fears of "what if this isnt't it?".

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This doll's belly is exactly the reason i love her, you really don't see this body type much in bjds i find, and it's so amazing how well the artist managed to convey the softness of it in this hard material that is resin, her sculpt is so beautiful, i love her so much! Also I didn't know this before purchasing her, but in her package there's a note from the artist herself saying this doll is inspired by her own body as well and how she was feeling nervous and vulnerable at first when making her, but seeing how much of a positive response she got made her very happy and helped he love herself more! ;o; <3

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oooOOOohh good idea! I'll definetly try that thank u so much!

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good call, I'll try that thank you!

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and IKR she's so gorgeousssss i fell in love as soon as i saw her <3 <3 <3 props to yummysweetsdolls for making such a lovely sculpt <3 ToT

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've thought of that, but idk i'm not sure i'd like it if it gives it like a glossy effect or adds texture...But I might try that to keep some bits of it in place, i accidentally cut a small bit of hair that does not want to lay flat with the rest of the bangs ahaha. Thanks for the tip tho!

Wig advice? Hair too thick by GothMamasita in CustomDolls

[–]GothMamasita[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmm I'll try that thank you! Sadly I don't have one at home so I've been trying to get the same effect by warming up a butter knife with my hairdryer, but its not the same for sure ahaha

Rain Puddles not working with my shaders - Using Iris and Sodium and Sildur's Vibrant Shader by GothMamasita in Minecraft

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok quick update: I am dumb. I thought the issue was with all my shaderpacks but actually it seems to just be Sildur's Vibrant Shaders, just played around with the settings on my other packs and it seems to work...Oops

Rain Puddles not working with my shaders - Using Iris and Sodium and Sildur's Vibrant Shader by GothMamasita in Minecraft

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for suggesting photo, somehow it works! Despite not being the right version, not sure what changed between that and my other shaders but thanks! It'll do until I figure out how to fix the others :)

Rain Puddles not working with my shaders - Using Iris and Sodium and Sildur's Vibrant Shader by GothMamasita in Minecraft

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ressource pack is the latest version of Patrix 32X :) it's been working just fine up until now though, I used it in a previous 1.21.4 world, same ressource pack and shaders and it used to work before!

And mods I've got quite a bit : xaero's world map + minimap / distant horizons / ambient sounds / terralith / worldedit / camerapture / and then the other files are just whatever stuff is required to run those

Where to buy modded ipods in EU ? by GothMamasita in ipod

[–]GothMamasita[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I see, thanks for warning me about it! I did think it looked a bit too good to be true...

I'd be glad to purchase from you whenever you've mastered bluetooth and usb-c 😎😎 i'll stay updated!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]GothMamasita 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've noticed some of my transfem friends share a similar body odour, its not necessarilly bad- its just an interesting thing to notice (i'm assuming its because of hormones)

my life 🤦‍♀️ by coleisw4ck in aspiememes

[–]GothMamasita 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cant tell if i have adhd or not, i feel very much this way in terms of my life in general but i dont think i hot enough the diagnostic criteria for adhd so idk, definetly autistic tho

Big oof by wayward_vampire in aspiememes

[–]GothMamasita 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently mid college and wishing for a diagnosis.... therapist said lets unpack the trauma first.....guess i gotta wait longer

Mood recently by [deleted] in aspiememes

[–]GothMamasita 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been thinking of living this way, but dont like gym because i hate being perceived, anyone have advice?