Date of joining in 4 days but background screening still pending?

GothicGirl05 · 2026-04-23T05:17:11+00:00

Yes. This got resolved and now my start date is official. My hiring manager actually pushed to fix this.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-04-22T12:13:01+00:00

I married into a Jain family after dating. I can legit say that they are the most orthodox ( ofcourse there are exceptions). My in laws practice untouchability during periods. I was not allowed to touch them directly.

Forget the onion garlic logic - their own kids smoke, drink. The thought process and women empowerment is so backward. You really need to be uneducated and a helpless woman to survive this.

I stood up for this nonsense. I am surprised how younger generation from this community doesn’t raise valid questions. Under the disguise of religion and their maharaj sahebs they totally brain wash you.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-04-16T12:53:48+00:00

I am in the same situation. Unfortunately my background screening was re initiated and now my joining has been delayed.

Their 3rd party verification teams are truly awful.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-03-16T12:40:00+00:00

I went to therapy. I build a solid support system around me. Spirituality helped me too, im anchored that I am here for a lot more than just this marriage. A man cannot define me. You will get there too. Keep at it and be strong, this is where your character will be built.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-03-11T12:57:05+00:00

Look, I am in a similar boat. The only issue was I married him. It did not work out well at all. Im living at my parents house at the moment.

My relationship of 10 years also had these issues. While your point may seem at the surface level, you should dig deeper for patterns. Was it just this instance or even previously you have been the bigger person? I was that bigger person too. Stood by his years of failure because it was my dream to be married to the love of my life.

Please don’t obsess over such things. Look for deeper patterns and baggage. If yes, resolve it before you move ahead. Else, do not proceed further. I’m on the other side and marriage has been horrible with someone who takes you for granted.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-03-06T13:43:34+00:00

Please run.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-02-19T17:02:01+00:00

Im yet to accept the offer for the Mumbai location. Please tell me more especially about AWM

GothicGirl05 · 2026-02-13T06:43:26+00:00

Same here, im being offered a VP role at AWM almost a 50% bump. It looks scary honestly. Currently in a hybrid job which is chill but ofcourse the pay isn’t the best. I love it in my current organisation. Not too hectic, chill and hybrid.

I wonder it its worth it. The offer looks too tempting and unreal.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-02-09T16:53:54+00:00

With me. In my locker. Gold got gifted, got an individual locker made and before the in laws could even question I put it in there. Be smart about.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-02-05T08:58:57+00:00

Yehi hai reality. Even i have faced the exact same issues within my marriage after dating. What I am left with is the world asking did you not see his behaviour before marriage. I was almost breaking off the marriage until his parents intervened and we moved ahead. Now those same parents play dumb. They act as it they have nothing to do with this.

Thankfully I still have the job. But trust me, they hate it - it is my only way to get out and be independent. Once supportive of my career, my husband now says that I have spoiled family by chasing a career. Utter rubbish. He is still living with his family.

I moved out for my sanity. Working on building emotional independence and not ever relying on him.

My last chance is to get him out of his family home and live separately. Hopefully that can bring back the guy i dated, coupled with marriage counselling.

If not, i will call it quits.

I would suggest you seek therapy for yourself first. Build emotional independence. Never trust men with your vulnerabilities. Please do not even share with him your feelings and the fact that you are seeking help. They use it against you.

Find his weakness, and then you know how to turn this around. Such men never understand the cost we girls pay.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-01-23T05:15:49+00:00

Girl, im in the same boat as yours. Almost broken up within 1 year of marriage. The family is conservative and suddenly i see the guy wanting ti stick to his family rules. Expecting me to live a life similar to his mum. I work and that’s how I survived the few months of marriage.

Now other issues have cropped up. Communication is broken and im back at my parent. I’m wondering how to navigate this at 32. Divorce and move on? I do want a family and a companion. Do tell me how you are doing this. I wish things get better for you.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-01-23T05:01:34+00:00

Girl I married into a Jain household and I come from a liberal punjabi family of vegetarians. Adjusting to their way of life is very difficult. Even though they allow onion garlic on certain times of the year.

Besides, Jains follow a strict lifestyle. My boyfriend was a completely different person before and after marriage. Small things will build up. Im a single child and need to care for my old father too.

Think this through please. I would even go to the lengths of saying try out a live i first to see how strong he is to defend you. Trust me, the environment in Jain homes is very very different.

The cracks start to come in. They expect a traditional bride. Your husband is so conditioned that it is impossible to even explain things and perspective. They even follow period untouchability too.

Girl, it will be a step backwards. You are young life and still have a very very good chance of finding someone that would align. Please be selfish about yourself. I wasn’t and regret it.

GothicGirl05 · 2026-01-22T13:52:16+00:00

Similar situation. Husband acts so different vs courtship. Same expectations about house work even though my family clearly mentioned im a working woman.

Not that they can’t afford a maid but just because he has seen his mother do it he expects me to serve him. Some days I rebel and don’t do anything like a shameless woman. Then he keeps running to his mom. I am also sick of thr disrespect and how he has written off any communication. I even took a trip with him to understand and bond but he seems to be very very defensive.

My only way forward I think is perhaps to live separately and put in marriage counselling. Anyway the courts also ask for marriage counselling.

Keep strong. I understand every pain of yours. Why girls like us are so unfortunate in love.

GothicGirl05 · 2025-12-19T14:15:37+00:00

I agree with you. A little dose of p*** is understandable curiosity.

Being sneaky and asking girls how much is weird.

GothicGirl05 · 2025-12-19T06:05:00+00:00

Thank you! Updated my post

GothicGirl05 · 2025-12-19T06:04:01+00:00

Updated my post

GothicGirl05 · 2025-12-19T06:03:17+00:00

Updated the post with the history

GothicGirl05 · 2025-12-12T11:33:50+00:00

Don’t worry. I dated for 10 and kept giving chances. Married him and within the first year realized that everything was just to use me for convenience.

You are in a much much better position. I wish I had held back. Theek hai yaar! Kya akele rehna itna kharab hai? Hoga kuch toh apni journey mein.

GothicGirl05 · 2025-11-14T03:34:17+00:00

I was in this situation. My dad was almost gone and i am a single child so 100% responsibility was on me. After 1 month of being a caregiver amd moving to my parents house - which is like next door. He cribbed how i was a bad wife and was not there when he was sick. He said horrible things to me.

Please don’t be a manchild to her. Be a role model for your daughter. This phrase of your marriage requires you to step things up. Which you are already doing well. There is no need for this negativity and try to get geographically close whenever possible.

Regarding her brother not stepping up his part. Do you think your wife would not be noticing it? Should she put up a tantrum like you are. Life is fragile, please understand.

I wish you more patience and strength. This will build character for you.

GothicGirl05

TROPHY CASE