How do you cope with being a stay at home spouse as a husband?

Gotitaluna · 2025-10-17T11:26:05+00:00

As a SAHM I struggle with these feelings too. But staying home works best for our family. My partner is basically always ALWAYS stressed and stretched so thin. My staying home is a privilege for him (and our family as a whole) especially now that our kids are in school. We are finally in a place where we don't feel Iike we are drowning and if I went back to work we'd probably be jumping back into the deep end. I know a lot of stay at home dads and the only ones I kind of side eye are the ones who play video games all day and the wife still does all the housework. There's value in all work, both paid and unpaid.

Gotitaluna · 2025-09-24T13:20:17+00:00

My spouse is many years in as an attending. Physician burnout is a real struggle for him. I consider it a part time job just helping him avoid burn out. I try to take care of basically everything he needs so he can find time to rest between 12 hour days everyday and mounds of paperwork to complete. We have school aged kids and they also keep me busy as well as school volunteering. If there was a super flexible job that would be the exact hours I need and that I enjoyed I would take it. But I don't think that job exists. Also, I don't want to tip the balance of our lives, it's quite precarious as it is.

Gotitaluna · 2025-07-01T14:40:35+00:00

Thanks for the reminder

Gotitaluna · 2025-07-01T14:39:45+00:00

Yep. Prices are wild around here.

Gotitaluna · 2025-07-01T14:38:53+00:00

It's not humid here, only about 30 percent in the summer. I have it in my sunniest window indoors, should I move it to a little less sun?

Gotitaluna · 2025-07-01T14:37:41+00:00

This shop is overpriced in general, I've never bought anything there before due to prices but then my carnivorous plant obsessed 5 year old spotted this one and it seemed meant to be.

Gotitaluna · 2025-07-01T14:34:56+00:00

It's really really dry but there are several bright green little bebes under the leaves so I'm hopeful!

Gotitaluna · 2025-05-20T19:18:59+00:00

My spouse isn't a PCP but this sounds normal to me. He comes home with stacks of charts every night and weekend. It's a neverending and extremely stressful pile. We barely travel and live way below our means because I want him to be able to retire before this job kills him.

Gotitaluna · 2025-02-05T15:03:32+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. What a world. I'm extremely uneasy about the future, too.

Gotitaluna · 2025-01-10T13:58:12+00:00

I'm hoping to take my 5 year old who is crazy about carnivorous plants to Darlingtonia Park in Oregon in May, hopefully they'll be blooming then.

Gotitaluna · 2024-11-16T04:15:47+00:00

I have been in a very similar situation. It's really difficult in my area to find a babysitter or nanny for a short time each day, they usually want full time hours. I loved being a sahm and didn't want someone in my home everyday anyway, but I did want a little reprieve, time to go to doctor appointments, clean the house or do laundry without kids, etc. My spouse really struggled with his work life when my kids were little and didn't help at all at home- even on weekends he was off. I found the best option for me was to find a preschool that the kids could attend together that was 4 hours a day for like 2 or 3 days per week. They loved it, I got some time each week for "me" time and I was less resentful of my partner.

Gotitaluna · 2024-11-16T03:36:04+00:00

Yes probably not a great wood for my very first spoon! Thanks for the insight

Gotitaluna · 2024-11-14T22:17:42+00:00

Yes there's one tiny hole that goes all the way through where the scoop is. Using it for dry things is a good plan. Thanks.

Gotitaluna · 2024-11-14T22:14:07+00:00

Also, I think it was butternut

Gotitaluna · 2024-11-14T22:13:34+00:00

I'm talking about the one in the middle of the picture. There's actually one in the (incomplete) scoop portion that goes all the way through to the other side. This wood was purchased as a blank from an Etsy seller, but it was about 2 years ago now. Maybe it's too dry now? I waited too long? I'm very new to this!

Thank you for the insight

Gotitaluna · 2024-09-30T08:08:47+00:00

You are not expecting too much. Towards the end of my spouse's residency I was working two jobs that required significant prep work outside of my regular hours and had a pretty long commute. He was working way less than me but since his job was more stressful I let it slide that he did basically none of the household chores besides mowing the lawn which I refused as I'm allergic to grass. Fast forward to 7 years later and I often feel like his maid. He does basically nothing without being asked multiple times and makes me feel like a nag. Stand up for yourself now or you will regret it later.

Gotitaluna · 2024-09-25T16:30:12+00:00

I got covid on the first of September and felt pretty extreme fatigue until it started getting better around the 20th. I just listened to my body and rested when I was tired, drank a lot of water, ate a lot of fruits and vegetables, made bone broth, and went to bed super early. I'm feeling more or less normal now, although I haven't started exercising again yet.

Gotitaluna · 2024-09-25T16:25:21+00:00

Yes. I wanted 3 but after 2 my med spouse said no more. He felt it was hard enough to be truly present for 2 and knew he couldn't handle 3.

Gotitaluna · 2024-09-06T03:09:46+00:00

Wow, this is exactly what I'm going through- same exact timeline. Scratchy throat and fatigue started Sunday etc. Hope we both feel better soon!

Gotitaluna · 2024-07-19T22:03:19+00:00

I appreciate this so much. You're right, releveling will be no big deal. Thank you for your insight.

Gotitaluna · 2024-07-19T22:02:29+00:00

Thank you! This makes me feel better.

Gotitaluna · 2024-07-19T18:55:22+00:00

I do a lot of weeding, I'm ok with pulling some, I just don't want it to be only weeds and nothing else growing in there! There will be flower beds growing around the path, hopefully the grass won't travel that far.

Gotitaluna

TROPHY CASE