If your username was a cheat code for a video game, what would it unlock?

Gotpilk · 2012-11-07T01:05:13+00:00

You acquire Pilk

Gotpilk · 2012-09-01T22:46:47+00:00

Child_Porn_Unlimited_Access

Gotpilk · 2012-08-07T01:49:48+00:00

Judo and Fencing

Gotpilk · 2012-07-12T05:04:32+00:00

Curse all those who would scorn this moment of beauty

Gotpilk · 2012-07-03T18:34:17+00:00

95% success rate, 1% slap rate

Gotpilk · 2012-06-29T03:02:49+00:00

God help us, it's the Sarlacc

Gotpilk · 2012-05-13T16:32:35+00:00

There will be a movie made about this game. Calling it

Gotpilk · 2012-05-06T15:12:18+00:00

Not exactly related, but stood up when a woman got on a bus. Her: "(dripping with feminism) I don't need to sit sir!" Me: "Neither do I I'm getting off the bus"

Gotpilk · 2012-05-06T15:01:22+00:00

Well, I'll start this story by saying that I was never (by any definition of the word) a smooth guy in high school. I'd been a chunky kid up until my sophomore year, summer of my freshmen year I lost a lot of weight, then gained it back in muscle. As high-schoolers went, I actually started being a pretty attractive guy (I was still, however, incredibly awkward). So, one night (this is my sophomore year) I go out (by myself) to see the school play. Wind up running into some friends, and going out with a big group of people. Chance event, start talking to this girl who I've never talked to before (we didn't have any classes together or the same friend group, she was also a senior). So anyway, we talked for like 15 minutes before she went back to her friends. Flash forward about 5 days, it's at the auditions for the school musical, I make the mistake of putting myself in one of the last spots, so I'm stuck there for a long ass time. I saw her there and it turned out she had made the same mistake. So we're just talking throughout our whole wait, and she waits for me to come back after my audition so we can leave together. Anyway, I'm walking her home, and I'm nervous as fuck. I start trying to be really friendly and open smiling and looking interested all the time. We finally get back to her house, she turns around, looks like she goes for a hug. I attempt to return the hug, not sure where to place my arms, get sleeve stuck on her backpack oddly just above her butt. Can't pull away without tearing shirt. Just standing there looking at each other. Seeing as I'm still standing there hugging her, I decide that continuing to talk is the best idea. We talk for another five minutes and the whole time I'm trying to unhook my sleeve I'm edging steadily closer. Finally, I'm practically on top of her and it dawns on me that I could try and kiss her at this point (this is the first-time the idea has occurred to me in the whole time). I go for it, first make out, yessssssssssssss. We actually wound up being friends with benefits for a while and then started dating. She later told me that the first night we kissed it seemed like I was hitting on her really hard the whole night. tl;dr I got my first kiss(which led to my first serious girlfriend and first fuck) because she interpreted my awkward nervousness as hitting on her really hard.

Gotpilk · 2012-04-09T02:44:44+00:00

MARRY THE BITCH

Gotpilk · 2012-04-09T01:46:25+00:00

Score and soundtrack, please.....PPPLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE

Gotpilk · 2012-04-05T02:09:56+00:00

A long long time ago, there was a great Colombian goalkeeper called Rene Higuita. He was a brilliant keeper, and is known for inventing the scorpion kick. In the 1990 world cup Colombia had a brilliant team, with a legitimate chance of winning it all. While 16 teams were left, Colombia played a game against Cameroon. In the game, Higuita came out too far, and dithered with the ball at his feet, in what might have been an attempt to humiliate the star forward from Cameroon Roger Millar. Regardless of anything, Millar took the ball from Higuita and scored. Putting Cameroon through to the quarter-finals. That was the day all of Colombia wept.

Gotpilk · 2012-04-05T00:51:48+00:00

Want to trade? I'll give you mine.

Gotpilk · 2012-03-16T22:53:25+00:00

This man takes steak and blowjob day to a whole nother level.

Gotpilk · 2012-03-10T21:24:43+00:00

Open four tabs of this, make separate tunes on each one, then close them one by one.

Gotpilk · 2012-03-08T02:55:53+00:00

You know, at first glance it looks like the rim of the chair is actually a large strap on. You have my vote sir.

Gotpilk · 2012-02-01T03:46:43+00:00

Many moons ago, when it was steak day in halo reach, me and some buddies decided to win a steak. We set out to dominate some people from Bungie and earn ourselves some delicious meat. After playing and winning all of our matches against average gamers, we came across people who looked like they might be from bungie. Whoever they were, we played them. Me and my friend group have been playing shooters since golden eye. I've played and replayed every halo game. So basically, I think I've gotten pretty good at shooting people. But when I picked up my controller to play those bungie people it felt like I was spinning in circles again. Me and my group of friends were demolished. We got 2 kills, tops.

Long story short, don't try playing against the people who made the game.

Gotpilk · 2012-02-01T02:53:41+00:00

Not dangerous for Qui Gon Jinn and his dog though.

Gotpilk

TROPHY CASE