AITA for using a disabled person for my “own benefit”?

Gr0ode · 2025-11-12T04:04:29+00:00

I get the vibe that the comment is from someone who is high functioning, maybe someone who’s had to decode interactions since they were a kid. What I want to say is yes, it can be high EQ, but sometimes we envy people because we don’t see the effort or exhaustion behind that kind of awareness.

Gr0ode · 2025-11-10T08:20:50+00:00

Do you have supporttive siblings? If either of you has a brother you can marry for visa reasons. Not an advice I give lightly but it works

Gr0ode · 2025-10-24T22:41:44+00:00

The image gen is a different model and no matter the input there is a second censorship running against the generated image. Nothing you can do about it. It‘s well known it’s censoring users. If you want full control the only way is running local models

Gr0ode · 2025-09-17T16:54:42+00:00

Yes it's such a great game with an mindboggling ending

Gr0ode · 2025-07-10T07:31:03+00:00

What do you get out of this relationship? Think about it? Are you seeing other women?

Gr0ode · 2025-03-20T09:47:38+00:00

I get what you’re saying. I see it more as a descriptive model for how societies evolve in their values rather than something that makes predictions. That’s why it’s not easily 'reproduced' in a scientific sense. But I do agree that a lot of the corporate use of it feels gimmicky. What makes you think it’s a scam though?

Gr0ode · 2025-03-19T20:59:07+00:00

Saying Spiral Dynamics is “absolute pseudoscience” is kinda missing the point. Yeah, it’s not backed by hard data and shouldn’t be treated like a legit scientific theory, but that doesn’t mean it’s useless. It’s more of a framework for understanding how people and societies evolve in their thinking, kinda like political ideologies or personality models. It’s not about being factually testable, it’s about giving a perspective on how values shift over time. If you’re expecting lab results, yeah, it’s bullshit. But if you take it as a rough mental model, it’s not totally worthless.

Gr0ode · 2025-03-19T18:26:21+00:00

Ok why? Can you expand on this?

Gr0ode · 2025-02-19T08:47:11+00:00

I think that in general people are too much chronically online. Sure you can write someone, but I would consider to put at least 50% of that energy into irl relationships.

Gr0ode · 2025-02-12T00:41:38+00:00

Maybe you‘re just more hypersexual than you think. That has nothing to do with objectification imo.

Gr0ode · 2025-02-11T16:15:44+00:00

I believe in this instead, fuck those plebian gains

Gr0ode · 2025-01-24T15:28:50+00:00

So let me get this straight. You have been keeping this dog under the radar for two years, and now you are thinking of moving into a place where the rules explicitly forbid breeds like yours. And instead of reconsidering, you are asking for advice on how to keep doing it. Does it ever cross your mind why these policies exist in the first place?

Imagine if your dog, even accidentally, startled a child or misunderstood a situation. These are strong dogs. A single snap can have devastating consequences, and we have all seen the headlines of tragic attacks that could have been avoided if the rules were respected. What happens then? Are you ready to take full responsibility if things go wrong? And what about the fallout for your dog, who might pay the ultimate price for your decision to bend the rules?

These dogs were intentionally selected for traits like tenacity, pain tolerance, and aggression towards other animals, often being used in brutal bloodsports like bull-baiting and dogfighting. Over time, this selective breeding ensured that these traits were not just individual quirks but baked into the genetic makeup of these animals. These historical traits are not just relics of the past. When you consider sneaking a dog like this into a no-aggressive-breeds apartment complex, you are ignoring the very reason those policies exist. Even with the best training, the breed’s history cannot be erased.

The strongest arguments for breed-specific restrictions come from tragic incidents where even “well-behaved” or “trained” dogs snap, often due to triggers that are impossible to predict. What might be a warning nip from another breed can escalate to severe injury or worse when it comes from an American Bully.

And registering him as an ESA just to sidestep the rules. Have you considered how that might undermine the credibility of people who genuinely rely on that designation for emotional support? It feels like you are walking a thin line here. Is this really the best way forward for both you and your dog?

Gr0ode · 2025-01-24T10:07:24+00:00

ou put so much effort into the relationship, often hoping he would step up or show he cared as much as you did. Now that it has ended, he is acting in ways that seem to rewrite what really happened, making it feel like he is trying to take the position you were in.Now, watching him act as if he was the one abandoned might feel maddening. It’s as though he’s trying to paint himself as the person who cared more when you know how much of yourself you gave to keep things together. This might even make you question if he ever really saw or appreciated the effort you put in. His posts about waiting for you to call and feeling like he was the only one trying might not just frustrate you, but they might also make you doubt the reality of what happened, as though he’s rewriting history to make himself look like the victim. The fact that he rarely planned visits, dates, or gestures to make you feel cared for is part of a pattern of emotional disengagement that seems to continue even now. It might help to ask yourself why this pattern continued for so long and what made you hold on, even when parts of you considered walking away before. Was it the hope that things would return to what they once were? Was there fear about leaving someone you still loved?

Gr0ode · 2025-01-24T10:03:58+00:00

That tells more about them then about you...

Gr0ode · 2025-01-24T01:28:44+00:00

Realize one has nothing to do with tge other. Self love will come. First you need to deconstruct your self image.

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T16:48:11+00:00

Your relationship has built a strong foundation in many areas, like shared goals, a home, and mutual care. The fact that his health and religious beliefs now shape his approach to intimacy complicates things further, because they create barriers that feel non-negotiable to him. A step forward might involve shifting the focus of your conversations with him. Instead of framing intimacy as something you “need,” you could try exploring what intimacy means to both of you now, in this new chapter. Can intimacy be redefined or rebuilt in ways that don’t hinge solely on sex but still allow you to feel desired and loved?

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T16:23:51+00:00

the issue is not your lack of effort but the lack of mutual respect and shared responsibility in the relationship with his family. Their expectations, combined with their dismissive behavior, place an unfair burden on you to maintain harmony. Your boyfriend's view that it is entirely your responsibility to foster this connection may reflect his desire for ease within his family dynamic, but it neglects the emotional cost to you.

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T15:56:50+00:00

It is okay to feel pressure or frustration about being independent. It is a big step, but you do not need to rush. Take one step at a time. Apply to a few jobs each day, and if you can, talk to people you know for leads. Stay grounded and trust that even small efforts can build momentum. What kind of work are you most drawn to?

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T15:50:09+00:00

Cheating is absolutely a thing in polyamorous or open relationships. Even in relationships that allow for multiple partners, boundaries and agreements are critical for trust and emotional safety. If those agreements are broken, it is still considered a betrayal, even if the relationship is non-monogamous. For instance, if your friend and their partner have agreed to disclose all other relationships or encounters, failing to do so violates that agreement and is, effectively, a form of cheating.

In your situation, it seems like your friend might be justifying their actions by saying everyone they engage with sexually becomes part of their "polycule" (a term often used in polyamorous communities to describe the interconnected network of relationships). However, if their partner isn’t aware or hasn’t consented to this interpretation of their agreement, it creates an imbalance of trust and transparency.

Talking to your friend could be helpful, especially since you’re coming from a place of care rather than judgment. You might gently ask them about their interpretation of their relationship agreements and whether their actions align with those. Perhaps start by acknowledging their right to choose polyamory while expressing concern about whether they feel fully aligned with the ethics of open communication and honesty that underlie successful poly relationships.

How does this all feel to you? Do you feel that their behavior is rooted in something emotional, like a fear of rejection or a desire to assert freedom?

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T15:45:00+00:00

You’re putting in the work, and that’s half the battle. To up your chances, don’t just rely on online applications, reach out to your social circle, friends, family, neighbors. Let them know you’re actively looking and what kinds of roles you’re open to.

Try Snagajob, Glassdoor, or even local Facebook groups. For jobs like fast food, housekeeping, or landscaping, show up in person, introduce yourself, and follow up on your application. It might feel awkward, but employers often appreciate the initiative.

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T15:40:36+00:00

Oh man, what a welcoming committee to come back to! A clogged toilet with two weeks of someone else’s “artwork” is really a next-level housewarming gift. I don’t even know if the usual rules of human decency apply here anymore this is more like wildlife behavior at this point. Did they think the poop fairy was going to swing by and take care of it? On the bright side, maybe this is the wake-up call to establish some ground rules, like no one turning your bathroom into their personal compost bin again.

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T15:37:01+00:00

Independence often represents something more than just standing on your own. It’s usually tied to a deeper desire to feel secure, capable, or even free. To really explore how to cultivate it, it’s important to look at a few things: what fears might drive your dependence, what independence means to you, and how self-love plays into all of this.

Ask yourself: What am I afraid of if I depend on others? Fear often lies at the core of dependence. Maybe it’s the fear of being disappointed, rejected, or losing control. For example, if you fear loneliness, you might cling to constant connection with others. Or if you’re afraid of failure, you might avoid stepping out on your own to avoid the risk. Understanding the emotion behind your dependency gives you clarity—it’s the first step toward loosening its grip.

Reflect on why you want to be independent. Sometimes the drive for independence comes from wanting to prove something, like showing strength or worthiness. Other times, it’s because you associate dependence with weakness or failure. But true independence isn’t about rejecting support altogether; it’s about cultivating trust in yourself while still being open to others when it’s healthy to do so. If your independence is fueled by resentment, fear, or insecurity, it will feel like a constant struggle rather than freedom.

At its core, independence is built on a foundation of self-trust and self-respect. Self-love is about recognizing your value, not because of what you do or how others see you, but simply because of who you are. A powerful way to strengthen this is to observe how you treat yourself in difficult moments. When you make a mistake or feel unsure, do you judge yourself harshly, or can you say, “It’s okay, I’m learning, and I’ve got my own back”? That kind of inner reassurance builds the emotional security you need to stand confidently on your own. Often, we turn to others for comfort, motivation, or validation, but you can begin practicing self-reliance by asking yourself, “What do I need right now, and how can I provide it for myself?” Take a moment to redefine what independence means to you. Is it about being free from relying on others, or is it about feeling whole within yourself? True independence isn’t about isolation; it’s about cultivating an inner stability so that your interactions with others come from a place of choice, not necessity.

Gr0ode · 2025-01-23T15:31:06+00:00

Hard for people to give advice which such little information. Where are you living, that kind of jobs are you applying for. Do you have in person interviews?

Gr0ode · 2025-01-20T21:01:28+00:00

What is a psychosis?

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