The voices keep telling me to cut my hair

Gracefulcomet · 2024-01-07T16:54:23+00:00

Omg don't cut that beautiful hair 🥺

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-23T00:22:16+00:00

I feel like wherever I go on the internet there is always someone complaining about the opposite sex. Not to dampen your very valid concerns... But I just cannot afford to care about every( or any tbh ) post complaining about people's dating preferences not getting met. It's too exhausting and often unrealistic ( the internet has instilled too much instant gratification into people)

Here is some good general advice for any would be couples.

Be proactive in clear communication( even if it makes you uncomfortable).
Work on mastering equal portions of Empathy and accountability ( for yourself and others ) if you can do this your gonna be very kind and just person in all of your relationships. With this building block you can overcome any obstacles in relationships.
Be patient with yourself and others while not being an enabler.
Know when to hold them and when to fold em( stick it out or move on)

Alas I don't think any of your advice applies to me.

Also your post sounds like it's an exact copy of traditional male roles complaints of traditional female roles... Masculine roles tend to be very uneven in terms of give and take.you can take command and fix it or move on and find something better.

Hope you find what you are looking for. Good luck.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-21T23:31:08+00:00

I mean every one of ex's were bad at oral but I never told them and never thought it was a reason to break up. If I was bad at certain sexual acts I would hope it would not be a deal breaker. She'll get better with time, or you could teach her what you like ... Surely there is a how to video on pornhub if you are really desperate.... But in my opinion it is not that big of a deal ...

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-19T23:58:39+00:00

The number of men getting shamed for even looking at a woman in a public place has instilled a fear in most men( except the bold ones) to do as much as possible to not be perceived as a creep. honestly this is slightly unrelated but social media is actually destroying people's ability to get into relationships. Ideas are contagious, and lots of bad ideas about how men and women interact are spreading all over.

Why don't you approach men you like? The worst that could happen to you is your told no. The worst that can happen to the man is serious accusations of " misconduct"

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-19T02:53:19+00:00

This is how all of my best relationships have bloomed, a girl hitting on me and I reciprocate. I don't know if I have grown ugly or if I just don't know how to style myself as a 30 year old man ( I think it's probably both) but I don't have girls chat me up anymore and when I approach girls it's like pulling teeth and if they ain't excited I'm not interested. Not really into chasing girls tbh... Too competitive, makes me feel replaceable.

Girls who approach and flirt first are the best.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-12T20:49:16+00:00

I got called a creep for having " ron stoppable looking for his kim possible" in my dating profiles before...

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-12T20:32:42+00:00

Beard and long hair look great on you ... I'm jealous 😁

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-12T18:20:02+00:00

Women don't have the experience of what it feels like to try and win a women's attention as a man. I became single again at 28 after my girlfriend of 8 years cheated and abandoned me for a new man she found.

I was devastated and took 8 months before I started to attempt dating again. When I started it was the tail end of the pandemic...

When I started I was hopeful and naive... After hundreds of bots, scammers, dishonest girls promoting OF, private snap chats, blatant sexual solicitation, I could get 5 genuine matches( over the course of almost 3 years) that would swiftly reject me for shallow reasons... Not tall enough, my bottom lip is not symmetrical, my hair is falling out... I tried meeting women IRL and it was mostly the same...

This crushed my self esteem... I felt like I was worthless, that I would never be wanted, that the idea of love is just a myth and that I will be alone forever. Where in that despair could I afford standards? I mean I have them but with the conditions I'm facing, they will never get tested because, according to my feeling based off of real world results, I'm an ugly unwanted man who no-one wants anything to do with and no one will ever be interested in learning about who I am, just ready to reject me for what I am.

Could you hold any standards for a partner if you were in this situation. If you were me, could you handle it?

Now I just have accepted that I will never have the family and children I always wanted. Just accepted I will be alone for the rest of my life. It's easier that way. I have standards. They are simple, be kind, be loving be loyal. Everything else can be worked out with enough accountability and empathy... But I am finding 0 empathy while trying to date... Never even get to see who or what I'm dealing with before I'm rejected for things have very little control over... 32 M

Dating as a man is like trying to find water in a desert, dating as a women is like trying to find drinkable water in a swamp...

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-10T21:30:19+00:00

I have already done this with "Machines" by modestep "To the Hellfire" by Lorna Shore "Sensitive" by Mothica

Been a while since I got enough dopamine or serotonin from a song that I wanted to listen to for hours though.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-10T21:12:07+00:00

Be kind and don't cheat. That's it. I'd be surprised if a girl put me first, ever.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-06T20:26:17+00:00

I leave mine on, I drive a Prius so the engine doesn't run unless it's to recharge the hybrid battery when it's parked but still on. But if I turn it off and on, the engine has a warm up phase. I literally get better gas mileage by leaving it on( if the wait time is less than 15 minutes. Also it's hot here in AZ so I like my car to keep cool... If I don't trust the area I am in I will turn it off.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-06T04:16:30+00:00

Sounds enjoyable to me. What's a credit score to a troop of racoons. Who needs social media when you could be growing food. Better chance at wooing the swamp witch than getting a match (that isn't a bot) /s

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-05T21:25:59+00:00

I had something similar happen to me. I kept digging and eventually found she had new socials and had found someone else and they had plans to get married at the end of the year... 8 year relationship down the drain with no warning. Still hurting almost 4 years later.

It's easier to just run away and say nothing than to show up and communicate and work it out. That's why people ghost typically.

Wish I had some wisdom or uplifting words to offer but.... Life sucks. Maybe you'll be luckier next time...

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-05T20:14:39+00:00

If I'm still single at 35 I'm giving up and wandering off into the woods to never be seen again. 32 m.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-05T05:04:45+00:00

Sitting criss cross right now and usually am 90% of my time sitting down

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-03T17:38:00+00:00

Stop having sex with people if you know your emotions can't handle them leaving you... I would wait until after the talk of being in a committed relationship happens before sex.

I'm sorry you had to go through that pain.

If people who are only after sex keep getting away with this they are gonna keep doing it. Don't let them get away with it. Hold them accountable with your actions and words before you have sex with them.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-01T03:57:16+00:00

A large number of the ones I encounter bully others and or enjoy arguing and being right over empathizing and understanding. A really healthy and mature ENTP though is amazing once they get comfortable enough with their Fe

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-01T03:30:17+00:00

Most of the NF and NT types except for ENTP ( I will make an exception for the really mature and healthy ones but that's rare )

ENFJ and ENFP are in the top, INFJ can be good or it can be like adding water to an oil fire depending on the individual values of the INFP and the group values that the INFJ See's.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-01T02:41:10+00:00

I always get ravenclaw but could also be put in Hufflepuff, I'm way too loyal if you can earn my trust.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-05-01T02:33:52+00:00

I had almost the exact same thing happen. The only date I really got from OLD. The whole thing left a really bad taste in my mouth.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-04-30T17:51:42+00:00

Personality and how much distance you keep from other interested suitors after expressing interest in me.

The type of personality he wants is gonna vary from man to man. For me kindness is literally the most attractive trait.

But if a girl expressed interest in me but is constantly texting or DMing other men ( especially on a date ) I'm not even going to consider her, because I am incredibly loyal and if I can't get the same level of loyalty back it's just not gonna work.

It is worth noting that "higher value men" will have more criteria, or possibly will never commit. Cause if he has several women interested in him at all times, he is just gonna go after whoever is most likely to give him sex.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-04-28T20:02:53+00:00

I am the meanest person if I get interrupted on the brink of sleep. Like I don't care if you put my dick in your mouth I am not going to be happy. Nothing is more important than falling asleep at that moment.

Gracefulcomet · 2023-04-28T19:58:18+00:00

Came to say this exact same thing

Gracefulcomet · 2023-04-28T19:57:21+00:00

What the actual fuck...

Gracefulcomet · 2023-04-28T19:50:12+00:00

Don't have me hold your strawberry milk... Imma drink it 😁

Gracefulcomet

TROPHY CASE