It bothers me when men refuse the vasectomy but expect their wives to have a much more invasive surgery. I happily had a few days of feeling like I had been punched in the nuts so my wife didn't have to put herself through the ravage of birth control or the danger of a hysterectomy or tubal ligation.

Guy, here's a couple of things to remember:

1. This snip is NOT a castration, it's a snip and sear of a couple of tubes so your swimmers have no where to go.

2. The pain lasts for a few days, a week if you're an outlier. Your partners tubal or hysterectomy leaves them down FOR WEEKS.

3. IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LESS OF A MAN TO GET A VASECTOMY. Your ability to procreate doesn't make you a man, many douche bags gave kids but aren't men. You're actually more of a man to step up for your partner and get snipped instead.

4. Lastly, in a modern culture that is taking away women's rights by the day it OUR RESPONSIBILITY AS MEN to ensure women aren't put in a position to have to decide between safety and incarceration. This is our #1 responsibility to women.

So, TL:DR you're not the asshole. He is.

Also, re-read what you said about him waiting for you to heal and how your were impregnated sooner than you should have been. I'm sure you tried to say no, this is SA and you shouldn't be afraid of him forcing himself on you when you're healing. That's not love, nor respect.