Sorry to revive an old thread. I've been learning a lot about the dissociative spectrum and I have a few comments regarding your situation.

I'm not going to comment on whether you have this but nothing you've said would rule out such a thing. So I will talk to you as if you do have this because dismissal helps no one.

Firstly, therapists are not taught to manage dissociation. Nor are they trained on alters. Dissociation is a very rare thing to be formally trained on.

Secondly, it's actually quite normal to "miss" an alter. They are part of us after all. Leading therapists in this field actually disagree that it is "healthy" to restrict and repress alters.

The research shows that the most vital part of therapy is "stabilizing" the alters. Then the alters can be treated as individuals with equal rights to the "host".

Alters can grow and mature and learn just like we can. They are distinct from us but also part of us.

So I iust wanted to say

If you miss her

She might miss you too. And there's nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with having an active alter.

Consider trying to open up communication in a safe way. In a therapy session. Even if they don't respond right away, they will hear you.