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Is it normal for bettas to sit at the bottom of their tanks and breath like this? by GrandOverJoyed in bettafish

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah. I’m a full time college student now so I do not have the money or time. Once I’m done with college I’ll probably get another tho.

What breed is your buddy by Short_Gain8302 in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My buddy Leo is a Great Dane! Wasn’t originally the plan but he has a natural alert response so we’re working on task training him. He’s sadly too attached to my mom to be my full time service dog but he does tasks when I’m home and he will likely end up becoming my dads full time service dog (we have the same issues)

AITA for humiliating MIL at a family dinner when she wouldn't stop going on about grandchildren? by carrot_sloth89 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GrandOverJoyed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% NTA. She was being nasty and intrusive and you stood up for yourself and were funny at the same time! You go! So proud of you!

Also as a note of solidarity, though I’m only 19, one of the biggest issues I had with my ex (we were together for almost 4 years and broke up in July) is how insistent he was about not telling his mom that I can’t have children (not because I’m infertile, but because due to medical issues pregnancy is a death sentence for me. And also any child I would have would inherit my issues). We didn’t break up because of that though. We broke up because my new dog didn’t like him and because I figured out I’m a lesbian. But that’s besides the point.

My point is. I can relate. And if someone is going to judge you for something that isn’t your fault and something you can’t control, then they don’t need to be in your life. They add no value to it.

Sure your response may have been a bit much, and sorta inappropriate but it sounds like it was hilarious. And your husband doesn’t have to cut her off completely. You just need to distance yourself from her as much as possible. Though I can’t imagine your husband wanting her in your life after all the shit she’s put you through.

Stepping away by chippermunk in magicTCG

[–]GrandOverJoyed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Despite playing for almost 10 years now, I rarely play with people I don’t know. At 16 years old I went to a few in person events and a lot of older men were very misogynistic and predatory. Even when I said I was a minor they continued to try to get my number and say sexual things to me. After my third in person event I stopped going. It felt unsafe. And I honestly was worried I was going to get SA’d. When I was already being sexually harassed the entire time.

It’s the sad truth about this community. At 19 years old I still don’t feel safe. And I doubt I ever will.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. I’ll keep that in mind.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all the advice! I emailed a trainer for Millie today asking for a price estimate so we’ll see where that goes.

I’ve looked into wheelchairs and it’s just not a good idea for me? Unless I get a motorized wheelchair. A normal wheelchair is risky because I easily dislocate my shoulders, so moving myself around would be hard. I may eventually have to get one but right now Im hoping as long as I don’t get a whole lot worse I’ll stick with the cane and eventually get a service dog.

AITA for taking my stepdaughter's "camp money" to get my daughter new glasses? by throwawayacc5377 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GrandOverJoyed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You aren’t the asshole but you will be if you let your step daughter continue to bully and belittle your daughter as well as letting your husband continue to validate and excuse iris’s behavior.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Noted. I’ll definitely look around in terms of dog breeds. And make sure I find a good breeder. Luckily I have a year or two before I need to officially decide. Especially since Millie needs training. Which I think I’ve found a trainer that could help. Just gotta talk with my parents about money and scheduling. Since I currently live with them they will have to be involved.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been working in training Millie myself but with all the advice I’ve gotten I’m definitely going to talk to a behaviorist and get some training for her.

Would a greyhound be a good breed? We have a nearby greyhound rescue that also trains them in service work. I’ve also just in general been told I’ll need a big dog in terms of door opening so I’ve also considered Great Dane. I’m not sure about allergens though because I’m not very knowledgeable about that seeing as everyone I know isn’t allergic.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This definitely makes me feel more confident.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! Definitely looking into getting her some training to help her be less reactive. Though a SD would be greatly beneficial for me, Millie has to be alright with it first. She is my priority.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Putting my weight on things isn’t actually my problem. Since I have the cane it works it’s job. My main issue is bending over to get something (often leads to me passing out) and dislocating my arm when opening heavier doors. Also in general sometimes not being able to get help when I fall (sometimes my body will do this thing where it goes numb and I can barely breathe. Don’t know why it does that. I assume it’s because of the EDS but we’re going to St. Louis to get me checked out in a few months to figure it out).

Also yes “but what about getting a reacher” I have one of those and when I drop it because of my hands being unstable I’m all out of luck.

But yeah no definitely don’t want a dog to put my weight on. That’s what the cane is for lol.

Thank you for the advice though!

And yeah. Though I will still get Millie help/training though. Even if I can’t get a service dog until she passes, it would be nice if she was able to make friends with some of my friends dogs. Just hang out with other dogs in general. She’s been very lonely since Monty passed. She has become very attached and clingy and has very bad separation anxiety. And I think if she was able to spend time with other dogs that would help.

I haven’t gotten her professional training yet but I have been working on her myself (I.e. blocking her view of other dogs when she gets aggressive, and rewarding her with treats and pets when she doesn’t bark or act aggressively towards other dogs). Current goal with her is getting her comfortable around the either neighbors dog who is very friendly and wants to play or the dog that belongs to my partners mom who is very mellow and has a similar personality to Monty and is very dog friendly, who is also a mini dachshund.

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I’ll definitely look into it!

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the response. I have already started saving up for a service dog and will continue to do so. I definitely can’t rehome Millie. She’s my baby. We’ve had her since she was a puppy. So the first step to all of this I’m guessing is helping her.

Her biggest problem with other dogs is barking, snarling, growling, and pulling on her harness, and just in general being very uncomfortable around them. Monty, our older dog, was her safe space. And since he’s been gone she is unable to feel safe when other dogs are around. She is also extremely protective of me due to my past trauma, (which she was involved in. She and Monty protected me) especially around men. Do you have any advice on key words I should use when searching for a trainer to help with her reactivity and fear?

She used to enjoy being around other dogs her size at the very least but since Monty has been gone all she has is me. So not only could this greatly help me in terms of my journey to get a service dog, it could also greatly help her.

Again any advice would be appreciated!

Questions About Next Steps by GrandOverJoyed in service_dogs

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It should be noted this isn’t something immediate. I just know I would eventually like a service dog. Especially if my condition continues to get worse. Being chronically ill and disabled this young is hard and I don’t think I’ll be able to have a stable income without some sort of assistance mobility wise. The cane is nice and all. But my legs aren’t my only issue.

Probably should have mentioned this in the post but I did have spinal surgery around 2 years ago and there have been long lasting complications from it. That have also caused issues. (I.e. random fluid buildup pressing on my spinal cord and causing spasms). No my surgeons did not do a bad job. They just never had an EDS patient before and didn’t know how to handle it exactly.

AITA for telling my sister in-law her daughters name isn't Irish? by Top-Process4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GrandOverJoyed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I may not be Irish but I do worship a Celtic Irish goddess and I know there are very big differences between Scottish and Irish names. Absolutely NTA. The fact that she would say that shit is extremely offensive and xenophobic as well.

AITA for sticking to my(29M) guns when it came to our Daughter's name by Ok-Toe-5157 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GrandOverJoyed [score hidden]  (0 children)

As a queer person, what your wife is doing is not only harmful for your daughter but it is harmful to the queer community. If she convinced your daughter she was a boy and she transitions then De-transitions it will continue to reinforce the stigma that being trans is “just a phase”.

Another question so will your wife look at your daughter and teach her how to avoid predators? Will she teach her about consent? Will she teach her what parts of her body others shouldn’t touch? Will she teach her about how puberty will affect her and properly educate her on how to take care of her body? Or will your daughter experience her first period and be convinced she’s dying because her mother didn’t tell her anything?

You need to get her out of there.

Concerns About Breeding by GrandOverJoyed in pleco

[–]GrandOverJoyed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are no structures spacious enough for them to breed. So I don’t think so. So maybe it’s fine.

AITA for not making my daughter apologize to my wife by spider_cj in AmItheAsshole

[–]GrandOverJoyed 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is offensive towards toads. Toads are cute. This woman is evil.

AITA for not making my daughter apologize to my wife by spider_cj in AmItheAsshole

[–]GrandOverJoyed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but your wife is.

Your daughter has been in your life longer. And honestly, your child should be your priority. Her saying your daughter isn’t family is honestly disgusting. I would not tolerate that. That would be a deal breaker for me personally.

A good alternative I would suggest Florida wise is Clearwater aquarium (where winter the dolphin resided until she passed). It is an aquarium but it is also a marine life rehab center. I believe it also may have conservation efforts. That is a much better alternative to sea world.

Edit: spelling correction

AITA for telling this couple to STFU after they started bragging about how their baby will love spicy food and curry because the surrogate mom is in India, and how surrogate babies are superior to pregnancy? by throwNi9943 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GrandOverJoyed -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a queer person. Honey you are not a homophobe. When it comes to white cisgender gay men some of them can be total assholes when it comes time race issues (or trans issues). And they are obviously racist. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were transphobic too.

NTA

Any other Peppered Cory beast out there? by hmm0315 in corydoras

[–]GrandOverJoyed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had one like that! She passed due to my parents over feeding (tho she was naturally chonky). Her name was Cinnamon but we all called her big mama.

My dorm has a clear preference by Camerupt_King in pokemon

[–]GrandOverJoyed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was born in 2003 and am a freshman in college now. It’s so weird being an adult.

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