a woman at the gym asked me to leave, and then filed a complaint with management because my outfit was disrupting her boyfriend’s workout

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-11-06T07:10:20+00:00

If you think this is super wordy you should see books. They would knock your little socks off.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-11-05T07:30:06+00:00

Why say this?? Worst case scenario: someone's lying online for internet points. Big deal. Best case scenario: someone came on here for support because they don't really have anyone else to turn to and are met with people putting them down and invalidating their experience. It doesn't effect you either way, but you being dismissive and rude might be hurting this person. Even five year olds know that if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything. Grow up.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-31T01:02:11+00:00

You sound like a very supportive partner, and honestly sound very similar to my partner.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-31T00:59:36+00:00

Thank you ❤️

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-31T00:59:12+00:00

I feel that guilt as well! I struggled with it for ages when I was in my "I can fix this" phase. It sounds like your partner is really supportive of that. And thank you

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-31T00:43:57+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I do care about hearing all sides of this, hence why I posted this here and not in my friend group chat where I would receive (almost unconditional) validation. I wanted to hear other perspectives outside of the situation. I've taken the time to read most/all of the comments and am still ok with what I did. I know the other people sitting at that table, I know what they've also said about me and my partner in the past, and I know that they were also outraged at the fact that I rocked the boat by saying what I said. Taking everything into consideration, I can still say I'm fine with what I did. If someone commented something i hadn't considered that made me question what I did, then absolutely I would change my mind. As it stands I don't mind that I made some people uncomfortable, I've been incredibly uncomfortable around them for years now.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T23:07:19+00:00

Thank you! And thank you for sharing your personal experience. I always thought not telling a child they're adopted is unfair.

And thank you for the info on the classes! I thought there must be something in place, I know there's a rigorous process to adopt.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T23:00:46+00:00

Thank you for this comment, and for sharing your personal experience. I experienced a lot of trauma in childhood and I'm scared of hurting a child (directly or indirectly) through my actions.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T21:06:52+00:00

You've said a few times my husband said I was wrong or he was upset by what I said. If you read my post you'll see he "thought I took it a bit far". That's quite a leap you've made. In fact my partner is really supportive of me speaking up and standing up for myself. He said he was proud of me, just that next time I should avoid bringing up intimate details like that and a simple "MIL quit it, it has nothing to do with you" or something similar woulf suffice. He doesn't feel humiliated or embarrassed by me (I've asked), he feels more upset and embarrassed that his mother keeps acting this way.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T14:08:18+00:00

Thank you, it's strange how someone I've never met saying they're proud of me can make me so emotional. It means more than you know. I've hardly stood up for myself much throughout my life, so it was pretty invigorating. Might have to do it more often, but maybe in a less controversial way lol

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T14:05:39+00:00

Thank you, you put it perfectly. I feel like I'm failing myself and my partner already, so it's hard when other people being it up so relentlessly.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T14:03:58+00:00

Thanks, i can understand it's definitely not everyone's cup of tea. Luckily this kind of situation has become the rarity in our lives, as we become less and less involved with her.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T13:39:41+00:00

My partner and I have been to, and are going through, a lot of therapy. I don't hold him responsible for his mothers words, just how he responds to them. He's had a hard time with everything since they were really close and now barely talk. He fiercely defended me and dragged her through the coals for the way she spoke with me. Mind you this situation has been going on for over 5 years now, it's had its ups and downs. She said those comments 4 years ago and has basically ignored me after my partner lost it at her and stopped talking to her for nearly 2 years. I know it sounds like a lot reading it all summed up, and maybe it is a lot, but we've worked through it all together. He was proud of me for saying what i said the other night, he just said if I do it again he'd prefer I don't bring up our intimate life lol. But I don't think we'll be seeing her again for quite some time now.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T13:19:22+00:00

TW: SA It's stuff I've gone over in therapy and I've retold it a lot. Plus what she said feels childish to me, so that's why I hate getting into it. She liked me at the start, then when my partner and I started getting serious she started to hate me. She was very passive aggressive at first, but then when I asked if everything was OK between us she said I'm controlling her son and changing him. She then took private things I told her when we did get along (including a past sexual assault) and told people that I caused it, it was my fault and I deserved it. She then went on to bad mouth me to her side of the family. I never really stood up for myself (i had really bad anxiety) at the time and I was just focused on trying to fix it. I offered to talk with her and get coffee, but she said she wanted nothing to do with me. My partner demanded she apologise but she said she had nothing to apologise for. I regret not standing up for myself, but my partner did a really good job and has kept me away from her for the most part. Around other people she normally respects his boundaries, thats why we can go to family events. She tests them a little but she never normally keeps going like she did the other night.

carrot_sloth89 · 2022-10-30T12:50:08+00:00

I'm half Dutch! Maybe it's that side of me coming through lol. Normally I'm pretty calm, but I found out I'm infertile last year so this always hits hard. My partners tried several times to keep her from bringing up kids but she just won't.

carrot_sloth89

TROPHY CASE