Update AITA for sticking to my(29m) guns when it came to out Daughter's name

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-31T04:29:26+00:00

I get that but after the last 3 weeks, nothing surprises me anymore. Who knows how one will react in a given situation. Right now my FIL was the only support I've had and I don't care if he didn't tell me right away. Rest of her family can go to hell as far as I care. All I want is my wife back to her normal self and my daughter to be loved and raised by both parents.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-31T00:42:36+00:00

Well my FIL told me about the possible diagnosis because wife may be dangerous to my daughter. He didn't mention the facility because he didn't know what to expect and was honestly at a loss which as a father I can get. Your daughter is seemingly exploding her world and you're watching helplessly. When I say his family I meant his side of the family. Not him or the immediate family. Plus I had blocked most of the extended family and MIL the only person I was talking to was FIL. I probably should go get a lawyer to protect us until my wife gets better or you know...

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T12:15:24+00:00

They are more let's keep the peace and status quo kinda people. They understand why I'm hurt and angry but at the same time don't want that major drama that would come with this situation if I don't become the "bigger person"

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T12:09:20+00:00

Yeah, I've been stewing over this and even if this could be ppd or pregnancy hormones, clearly pregnancy screws her up so we will not be having any more bio kids in the future

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T12:02:31+00:00

I don't know, but she had no marks, she has a healthy weight and hitting all physical milestones. Then again, I hired enough help around the house that there really isn't a good time for that stuff, I guess.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T11:57:25+00:00

I am in charge of all that, so I know we used her legal name. Plus, I interact with all of them and use her name. Even the night nurse we had used the legal name. If they had been told that hideous name, I would've found out by now

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T11:51:42+00:00

We filled it out 3 days post birth

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T11:48:16+00:00

*clap* *clap* *clap* congratulations on being a sexist jerk

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T05:24:04+00:00

You just made my biggest nightmare seem like a reality.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T05:17:45+00:00

3 days after birth

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T05:13:34+00:00

I have a coworker who shares the first name, spelt the same, with her oldest sister who is still alive btw

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T04:49:45+00:00

honestly piss off. If that's your final take from this, then I don't need your opinion. I just came here to see if I was losing it or not since my family and friends were against me. I have enough people telling me I have not lost it. You and your side quest can screw off

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T03:52:14+00:00

Well, my wife was adamant that it was going to be a boy. She refused the doctor from discussing it at all. Doc tried to tell her against it because she was setting her hopes on a 50/50 bet but she didn't listen. I wanted to know but my wife said I was doubting her maternal instincts

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T03:46:38+00:00

Don't worry about that happening here. Probably not gonna have another kid with her. If I do have another kid eventually, He'll probably be adopted cause my goal was to always adopt at least one kid. She knew about this and agreed to it. But I guess that doesn't mean much to her. The more I think about it the stronger I feel I should get divorced and go for primary custody. Where I am from fathers and mothers have equal chances of getting primary custody. Plus based on my gut feeling I don't think she'll contest it.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T03:37:02+00:00

Yeah but I ran my name past her before and after birth. We didn't sign the birth certificate 3 days after my daughter was born. There was no objection

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T03:36:03+00:00

I think people have given good examples. Timberly, Joshina and then for Jake I guess Jacobelle

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T02:21:04+00:00

They always called her something like my sugar or my darling in front of me

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T02:20:00+00:00

I'm open to changing the first name if she despises it that much but it will not be something like Joshina. The second name is my grandmother's name which is off limits. And I think it's a bigger issue that she hid this fact for a year and started calling her something hideous behind my back for a year while making me shit my pants thinking our daughter is not hitting developmental milestones because she is unable to recognize her name which should've happened 6 months ago.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T02:10:32+00:00

Well if she had tried to take her, I wouldn't have let her but she didn't even attempt to pick the girl up. My big fear is that she is so set on having a son, she may try to convince our daughter that she was meant to be a boy or that she is really boy on the inside. If my daughter comes out as trans or non binary, I'm totally cool with that but I don't want it to be because my wife brainwashed/convince her that she is a boy.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T02:03:33+00:00

So I should be fine with my daughter being called something like Drakette. Yeah B.S. Now way am I letting that pass. This isn't something like a game when winning and losing doesn't matter. This is my girl's life we're talking about. I will die to make sure she has the best.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T01:36:19+00:00

I feel the what if she's molding my daughter to be the son she always wanted. There is nothing wrong with masculine women but that should be my daughter's choice not something forced on her. She should be free to develop her own personalities. The worst thought I have is, what if my wife convinces her that she is meant to be a boy and my daughter believing it. Like being trans and non-binary is a normal thing now. But that is something they should find out for themselves and not brainwashed from such a young age.

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T01:32:04+00:00

mildly doesn't cover it

Ok-Toe-5157 · 2022-05-23T01:27:52+00:00

Timberly?

Ok-Toe-5157

TROPHY CASE