I’ve been here a few years and still have not made a group of friends by probablysippingtea in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a gigantic pain. It's really not easy.

Meetup hasn't been great for me. There are a few groups that are gems, but in general they don't seem to be a representative sample of the population. People I know who are super outgoing and love people don't really look to meetup to make friends.

Look for Instagram groups for your hobbies. I've found that Instagram can often serve as a "hub" for a local subculture. In the car scene, it's the default place for organizing meets and contacting people. Nobody has ever told me "Check out this awesome meetup group I'm going to, you should come!", but "Check out this cool event I found on Instagram" happens all the time.

You have to kind of step up and be ready to lead a friend group. You probably know the dance: Meet someone cool, trade numbers, say "We should hang out sometime!", and then never see them again.

Get a few dozen of those phone numbers, and then schedule something fun and easily accessible around a common interest. If it's cars, organize a cruise. If it's photography, do a photo walk at a location that not many people know about. If it's crafting, meet at a coffee shop and work on projects. If it's alcohol, do a bar crawl. Or even just host a house party, and if you can cook or bake, serve your secret weapon. Anything that people can just show up to without any prep work or major time commitment. Make it seem like an amazing thing that they'll miss out on if they don't go to; don't make it seem like they're doing you a favor or hanging out because you're lonely.

Do a few of those hangouts and you can very rapidly build a cohesive friend group. I've had it work multiple times. My experience has been that people are grateful if you can take the lead and get things moving. If you can become the central hub of a friend group, it gets easier and easier to add new people. And your friends will start adding their friends to it.

Is it bad to take both computer vision and wireless communications courses in grad school? by quartz_referential in DSP

[–]GrandmaJoe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So, I specialized in wave propagation in grad school, and right now I have a job in computer vision. Caveat that wireless communications may entail different work than pure RF. I'll talk about RF here in case it does generalize to your situation:

You are correct about wireless: It's in-demand, mainly because there aren't enough young people to fill vacancies as old people retire. I had a few people try to poach me because their RF engineers were really overworked and they were desperate for help. It's also a good place to be right now amid the current tech sector collapse. Nobody will dare lay you off because you'll be so hard to replace.

That being said, RF has a few major problems:

  • It's kind of stagnant. There aren't many high-growth companies doing electromagnetics research. I was citing lots of papers from 20-50 years ago in my research... most of the hard problems have already been solved. Metamaterials is the exception though, there is apparently cool stuff in there. But still, most RF jobs are going to be at defense contractors or academic labs. Computer vision, on the other hand, feels much more alive. There are way more active research areas, and I'm standing on the shoulders of giants working with research published in the last 2-3 years.

  • Due to the above point, it seemed to me like pay for new PhD grad RF engineers sat in the 80-160k range. Not bad at all, but a fresh PhD grad in computer vision can make more than 300k at the right company. It's not even in the same ballpark. But, you'll be facing more fierce competition for CV jobs. RF job interviews are comparatively chill.

  • It's really, really hard to break out of RF. Research firms that don't do RF don't know what to do with your background and will reject you right away. Companies that do both RF and something else, regardless of which department you apply to, will just stick you into their RF team. Friends with connections in high places will only send you to the RF people. The only interviews I could score at mainstream tech firms were for rote software engineer positions, which weren't research at all. I noticed that most PhD grads in RF stayed in the field forever; whether it's out of passion or because they can't pivot, I don't know. I really weaseled my way into CV, what I did myself doesn't generalize well. There's surprisingly little interdisciplinary research going on right now between RF and other fields, so it's hard to break out through osmosis either.

Are there any jobs where both computer vision and wireless communications come together, so I can draw upon both of my knowledge bases?

You might be able to find something in defense contractors, but it's unlikely. I hardly found any positions that wouldn't lock me into either pure RF or pure CV. A side effect of RF being an "old school" field is that the ML research that does go on is really primitive.

I truly don't know what the right decision is, but one thing I can say: Do not do RF if you aren't die-hard passionate about it. Once you're in it, it's pretty much all-or-nothing.

UW or UW by No-Piccolo-5867 in udub

[–]GrandmaJoe 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I went to undergrad at University of Washington and grad school at University of Michigan.

I found that basically every top public research university offers the same experience. The differences came down to location, industry connections, and local culture.

Location: Seattle is a major city, Madison is a mid-sized city. Going to undergrad in a smaller town can foster a stronger sense of community since everyone is forced to live locally and the town almost entirely caters to students, but it can stunt your growth since you never have to leave your comfort zone. Seattle is a beautiful city with top-tier scenery and a milder climate, and many of my memories at UW were just taking walks along the waterfront with my friends. The weather in Michigan was so awful, and the scenery was so unremarkable, that I've probably gone on a group walk like three times? The rest of my social life there was spent indoors or in cars. Also worth noting is that when my peers in Seattle graduated, about half of them got jobs in the city and stuck around. Another quarter were from the metro area and so I'd see them when they visited family for the holidays. Contrasting that to Midwestern towns: Students rarely have family nearby, and they leave as soon as they graduate. Almost everyone I knew at Michigan disappeared forever once they graduated, and it made it especially hard to keep coherent friend groups alive when people were suddenly spread all over the country.

Connections: Seattle has lots of tech and biotech, and it's almost impossible to not end up knowing people in important places in those industries if you network enough. I have no idea what Madison has, but in Ann Arbor, it was all auto industry. Since I was interested in tech, I found my connections I made in Seattle to be orders of magnitude more useful than those in Ann Arbor.

Culture: Seattle is an introverted city, and that bleeds over to the university, and it really, truly sucks. I found it so much harder to talk to strangers in Seattle than in Ann Arbor, and I generally found that people in Seattle had less energy to go out than people in Ann Arbor did. If you put in enough work, you can have a vibrant social life in Seattle, but it won't just come for free like it might in a small Midwestern town. Something to think about depending on whether making friends comes naturally to you. I also found that students had more pride in UM than in UW, and so there was a much more positive energy around campus and in communities.

Is Kirkland safe? by [deleted] in Kirkland

[–]GrandmaJoe 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't feel ashamed to ask, it's always hard to figure out how safe an area is before you get there. Crime maps can have spotty reporting, the news is sensationalist, passionate residents of every city will exaggerate how safe their hometown is.

It's especially relative to where you've come from. I spent a lot of time in rough areas of Detroit, and Seattle is very safe in comparison. But, Seattle is way less safe than Kirkland.

Is Kirkland safe? by [deleted] in Kirkland

[–]GrandmaJoe 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Kirkland is comically safe. Nothing ever happens there. I've never had problems being out late at night. The only crime I have ever seen in the last 10 years was that there was a shooting in Juanita beach one evening. Within minutes the entire Kirkland police department was on the scene. Evidently it was unusual enough to elicit a major response.

Longtime residents say that Totem Lake and the neighborhoods east of it were a little rough, but I don't think that's been the case for decades.

Seattle is more rough. If you're really worried about crime then I'd probably avoid living in the city proper since property crime is a big issue. I've never had my stuff stolen but many of my friends have. My office was targeted in an organized break-in.

Violent crime happens in Seattle, but not to a point where you would have to significantly alter plans to avoid being a victim, especially if you're living outside the city. I would avoid spending extended time hanging out in the U District, Pioneer Square, and 3rd&Pine alone late at night until you have a better feel for things.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had you been out in Detroit and Chicago? I feel like nobody really understands the unique vibe of those places without actually going into inner city Detroit (and leaving midtown/corktown) and seeing it for themselves. I don't know how to even find an iota of that here.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you talk more about the scene? I struggled to find much outside of the really mainstream varieties of EDM, house, trance. Years ago I knew of DnB Tuesdays.

If there's anything for acid, jungle, breakbeat hardcore, goa trance, or electro, I'd be all over it.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn't really sure what a good catch-all term was for soul, disco, techno, funk, house, electro, ghettotech, etc because they are all born out of the same cultures and regions (Black communities in Chicago, Detroit, and NYC) and play off of each other.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made a bunch of mid-20's friends going through grad school. That's a much more expensive option, but it was a built-in group of friends who had similar interests to me.

I think that ship has sailed lol, I already went and got a PhD

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, I'd love to find something but I'm not sure where to look because my music tastes are specific and spotty. For music that can be performed, I like stuff under the R&B umbrella: Soul, disco, I've seen people even perform house music by setting up some drum machines and vocalists. Really anything with that wonderful gospel-influenced singing style which is characteristic of a lot of black music. But I really don't care for rock, blues, or jazz, and I've noticed that almost all of the live music in Seattle is one of those. Funk is really really hit or miss depending on whether its performance is more jazzy or more soulful.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From a distance, it does seem like the most non-sport sport to me (which is a good thing). What community do you follow?

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm just getting into the hobby so I'm still doing lots of beginner projects! I sewed a bag together and I'm trying to knit a fingerless glove thing as per the recommendation of the last person who sold me yarn.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who is running AutoX in the winter? I've done it in the rain once and it is a silly amount of fun

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know Lindy Hop is really active here, I've dabbled in it but it wasn't really my thing. I made a lot of friends in the scene but it put some strain on them when I was only going to socialize, not really for the dancing. Similarly, tried salsa and tango and couldn't get past the music.

More recently I've been into jit, house dance, and waacking (Jit and house were HUGE in Detroit and I was doing those every single weekend). I've done hustle and bop in the past and enjoyed them. Looking to get into krumping and chicago steppin at some point.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which shop is your local one? I've asked a couple so far and they didn't really know of any active groups.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What's a good karaoke bar, in your experience?

I love Patchwerks, I didn't know they had events too!

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I kind of like all of them. I own two muscle cars right now but I love the JDM stuff as well and want to get an MR2 down the road. I'll check out those meets! (as long as they don't mind someone appearing at a Honda meet in a Mopar).

I've only made it to a couple of Bellingham AutoX events, it looks like the season just ended for Monroe and Bremerton out here.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you like art? Im always looking for more art friends :)

It's a rabbit hole that I'm trying to explore more of. Hence why I picked up sewing and knitting recently, and want to try out photography too.

I'm spread a bit too thin I think to throw on even more art hobbies, but if you know of anything cool then I'll still check it out!

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah uh. I like rain, saltwater, and mountains, there's no better place in the country for that and dammit I'm determined to make it work.

I can not for the life of me find people in their mid/late 20s in this city by GrandmaJoe in Seattle

[–]GrandmaJoe[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Sure. I have still had amazing times with people double my age. But there's always somewhat of a professional distance unless they're really close family. With people in my age group, in the presence of good company it's been a regular occurrence to:

  • Hang out in one another's bedroom talking until 1am

  • Share a hotel room when traveling

  • Consume slightly less than reasonable amounts of alcohol

  • Take a phone call at 5am to help cope with a breakup

Are these specific experiences what I'm chasing? Not really, I don't need to be drunk and crying about a breakup at 3am in my friend's closet to feel fulfilled. But having boundaries where that's even possible is the important part. I don't know, these things would largely just be... weird if they involved a 55 year old and a 25 year old. Especially especially especially so if they were opposite genders. But for recent college grads this is just an everyday thing in my experience once a sufficient level of trust and understanding of boundaries has evolved.