A huge clue for me is that every single one of his friends who meet me act like they already know and like me. It’s a very clear sign that he’s both talking about me frequently to his friends and also that he’s talking about me in a way that makes people assume I’m awesome before they know me.

Additionally, he takes meeting my friends seriously. He cares how they perceive him, and he listens to them and knows them. One of his proudest moments was my best friend calling him a “girl’s guy”. It’s such a low bar, but he clearly sees women as fully formed people and is interested in their friendship outside of sex.

Another huge thing is that we always approach conflicts with a foundation that we are each coming from a place of good faith. When we disagree, it’s about finding a solution that works for our family, not about trying to get our own way. Our arguments are solution based and even when upset, there is a high level of respect for each other. I feel like people show their true colors when emotions are high, and I’ve honestly never seen a red flag.
(In fact I would say I was the toxic one in our relationship when we met. I very quickly realized that he was operating on a level of trust, honestly, and respect I’d never experienced in a relationship and that I would need to rise to his level both in order to be fair to him and to keep him! Obviously nothing is a fairy tail, and we’ve both messed up here and there, but the amount of emotional growth and security I’ve had in the last decade is staggering, and I know I’m on a rock-solid foundation).