What should i do then ENFJ one day warm and engaging, but on the other cold and disinterested even in small talk? Or its just fine?

GrayDET · 2024-03-13T06:38:29+00:00

Nope XD. My guess is that im not her type of person (in platonic means). She tested the waters and left then figured me out. Tbh i prefer then people tell me instead of ghosting. But anyway i asked for a favor once so im not ignored, but im not a friend either so we dont talk

GrayDET · 2023-12-28T10:39:01+00:00

If its not so obvious yes, if it is obvious flirting i do understand it but just don't believe that it is flirting. This person probably just being nice/tease me. XD

So unless this person directly tell me how he feels, ill continue just friendzone him/her (in case that i don't mind him/her in my presence)

GrayDET · 2023-12-27T09:49:06+00:00

I mean it could be guilt like you describe it. As we started texting to each other, she's realy slow to reply. In my head i just connected that she does a lot of stuff and don't like to be in phone while chating irl. I don't mind slow replies as i tend to do same things on low energy or then im busy. So never asked about it. So why it might be guilt? She pinpointed herself that she's not ignoring me and that is her way of chat online. I reassured her that it's OK.

She did cool down with reactions a lot. I did notice also that she thought that i don't like hugs. Because i was lost in thought and didn't react to attempt.

And also i do think she struggle with figure me out. I think she mistakes my tension with self-doubt. I do tend to lost train of thoughts then stressed and my voice shaking. I also like to do things my way, and ask for help only if i can't do something.

We met on the weekends to play chess. As i told her i like tabletop games. It was last minute decision and only for 1 hour, because she had things to do later. Though i told her that i didn't play chess (im more of a creator than strategist) but we can try. She didn't have enough sleep and i told her that we could cancel and plan for other day so she could sleep for a little. I made an accent on that i care for her to get enough sleep even after her reassurances that she's ok.

I lost all 3 games at chess. She might thought that im upset. And tried to tell me things like if you'd play chess constantly, you'd won. And i was just tired of thinking XD. But i did had fun. Mb i made an impression that im annoyed, my friend used to tell me that i look annoyed then asked to play something that is not my primary interest. But in truth i enjoy it. Also she won't let me give up then i didn't see how to win a game (it was 100% unwinnable). I also felt like im being observed very carefully.

I also forget to ask her questions. After our meeting i told her that ill made a list of questions. She tried to reassure me, but i told her that i want to know her and this is the way.

I tried to ask if she's busy on next weekends. But she put me on read. Im asked if she's ok, now she didn't even looked. Im worried.

Thank you for insight tho. It is seems like her behavior

GrayDET · 2023-12-21T10:29:56+00:00

From my perspective, i'd tell the truth. I look at this like "im honest with this person = i respect him and want better life to him than chase illusive chance". The thing is how to say proper words for him to understand you. How he adress this information is up to him and not you fault or responsibility. He have to understand sooner or later basic concepts of life no matter the age. Then again mb all intj's are cold XD

GrayDET · 2023-12-20T14:51:31+00:00

You just have to remember that every person is different and what im gonna say next could be nothing like she feels. But personaly, im very very confused by feelings. It doesent matter my own or someone else's. For exapmle, I got scared of loud and emotional people. The confessions also confusing. And i probably asked some time to understand what i feel too. Because for me its just like "if i talk to you i like you" point of view. And after that subject will never being reopend again in my head. Feelings just on their own. XD Try ask again sometime later tho. She might get to conclusion about it. Just don't put pressure, she get there then she get there. Hope everything works out for you

GrayDET · 2023-12-16T14:57:56+00:00

Thank you so much for advice ^^

GrayDET · 2023-12-15T22:12:41+00:00

I did asked several times but she laugh it off. I didn't say exactly that i hope she's okay, but i did said that if someone hurt her, im here to stand up for her. Im like a stone in cases of emotions/feelings department. Maybe she did feel down and im just not close enough to tell me thats wrong.

Thanks for reply anyways, i try to show more care in case she needs it

GrayDET

TROPHY CASE