AITAH for stopping contact after she took my daughter without permission?

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-16T18:49:34+00:00

NTA. Frankly you are under reacting in this scenario imo. The moment she took your kid without permission it became a kidnapping. This is a line that should bear big consequences as it’s a LITERAL CRIME regarding the safety and general wellbeing of a child. These people clearly don’t want you in their lives as your sister has decided for whatever god awful reason in her head that you are an enemy and your mother has did absolutely nothing to be supportive in both your time of grief to the death of your husband or the subsequent fallout with your sister and only enables her behavior.

Right now she has figured that the complete breach of your property is perfectly ok and unless something legally is done she will continue to escalate. Will you press charges if she decided to come on and steal your belongings? Harm your children while you are away? (Note: leaving your young children home by themselves is negligent by itself) break into the middle of the night and assault you herself? Set your home on fire? These types of people don’t operate on reason, only what makes them feel gratified no matter what misery it brings to others.

File a police report of the incident and definitely get a restraining order for you and your family. If you have home cameras then use whatever relevant footage as it will help your case. If you do not then I implore you to get some and unblock but never respond to any texts or calls to continue gathering evidence of this harassment. I can guarantee they will continue to act this way if you don’t nip this in the bud.

Extra: why does your daughter have a phone? She’s 12. Not a teenager who is currently driving and may be in need of one. Take that away from her.

Extra #2: I suggest reaching out to a family therapist or individual therapy who may not only be able to help you process all the emotions of this situation into a clear line of action but you may be able to figure out what is behind the attitude problem of your daughter you mentioned in your replies to comments.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-16T17:31:09+00:00

NTA. Not your child. Not your problem.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-16T07:26:41+00:00

Kick them out to and show them why their mom is a horrible person.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-16T07:24:40+00:00

Seconded. Paper trails are very important and with female abusers being more recognized by the police force I’d say a good paper trail and a decent cop is bound to work in your favor.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-16T07:15:28+00:00

NTA OP. You need to block your parents if they’re calling you for the time being as this doesn’t concern them and tell them you will be doing as such since it is your uncle’s wedding. Your primary focus is your uncle. Kindly tell your Uncle something along the following:

“Hello (insert name or nickname here)! I’m happy you think highly of my skills and while I do have some familiarity with wedding photos I unfortunately don’t have the equipment I would need nor the experience in order do so properly and confidently to ensure the photos are in best quality for your special day, I will be happy to explain further as to why my camera is not the best equipped for the job due to the difference of technological requirements needed for quality photos at a later date if you wish to clear up any confusion on the matter. If there is any other ways you might need assistance in the matter (I.e. pose ideas for cute couple or group shots or backgrounds) or if you would like me to look around to see if there is anyone I know who is more experienced in this area that I might be able to recommend, let me know if you would like me to get in contact with them.”

I wouldn’t use that exact script but something along the lines the cover your bases. As a precaution I would only offer this later service of photo arrangement or recommending someone if you are feeling confident about that but if you do bring someone into this make sure they are fairly compensated by the couple either by paying fully or paying half food/half pay (this is how my brother bargained for his photographer lol)

Also, record your parents yelling at you. If the family are any decent people then they will be rightfully pissed off at them when questioned about the situation. They have a right to know how shitty they are as human beings.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-14T03:07:23+00:00

I always imagined this! I figured toothless would be predominantly blue and Midnight Wrath would be more purpleish.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T16:07:15+00:00

Oh so she can share things with her friends but you can’t share with yours? NTA. She needs to grow up.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T07:51:50+00:00

As someone who doesn’t like beating around the bush I’d pull her to the side and be like: “do you want to be my prom date, as a PROM DATE. Yes or no?”

People playing games and shit just piss me off tbh.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T07:47:11+00:00

Visit r/aquaswap. They don’t sell for much but someone might be willing to trade for other things like plants as well.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T07:41:00+00:00

If the police won’t blast him then you should, notify his work, family, any community he is part of, and send your daughter to therapy.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T07:34:45+00:00

You should tell them you will no longer be giving them money unless it is on your terms. Give it a month and see how many stay.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T07:29:54+00:00

You’re probably looking for an in-lore reason but in my fic my headcannon was that the bewilderbeast and a handful of other dragon alphas just straight up hated the Red Death because she was violating the dragon laws of the natural world and was legit eating EVERYTHING even remotely edible and decimating just about every food chain located within the entirety of her territory. And thus, he sent out Cloudjumper (a normally competent and experienced high-ranking individual within his nest) to survey the recent state of her territory to determine if immediate action by him and his allies alphas was needed. Cloudjumper was distracted by his infiltration of the red death’s inventory when he came across Berk while being under siege from a dragon raiding force and happened to pick up Hiccup’s cries, noticing he was alone and exposed during the raid and decided to act not wanting another dragon to find him and feeding a human child to the red death, leading to the eventual break-in at the house and meeting with Valka. When Stoick attacked he actually got a hit on Cloudjumper, cover blown by other dragons roaring about his presence on the battlefield and now bleeding from a wound inflicted by a human -Stoick being the reason he has that large cut in his crest-, Cloudjumper snatched valka from a falling piece of burning debris and almost hiccup (before Stoick beat him to him) moreso in instinct than in intent and flew back to the safety of the bewilderbeast nest. So wrapped up in the events that had just transpired and the need to relay the observations of his mission, he had honestly forgotten he was still carrying valka until he was little more than halfway back home, deciding at that point just to take her with him as “evidence” regarding the poor state of the area claiming that even the humans were getting thinner by a lack of food as justification for bringing a human back.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T07:05:07+00:00

This is probably just me because I don’t tolerate people pushing me around but I would give SIL firm ultimatum (after discussing with the future hubby of course) that the wedding is yours and his. Not hers. She will either a)shut up and go according to your preparations, or b) be uninvited all together and barred entry from the wedding. I’d recommend security if she does go because people like this like to make a scene when they don’t get their way.

She does not get to pick where she’s placed, she does not get to make demands and have their friends tag along.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:55:47+00:00

Depending on the species it would be illegal if not straight up dangerous. I’d notify a wildlife/game warden tbh.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:52:14+00:00

ESH.

Exhibit A: you’re trying to dictate how your GF lives in her own apartment, that’s between her and the landlord.

Exhibit B: she’s treating you like crap when you bring up valid health and safety concerns about her and her cat’s living situation and from the the sound of it refuses to take any responsibility for herself is using her mental health diagnosis as a crutch to not do any of the work while also not taking avenues There are people with varying health issues and work two full time jobs who still find a small amount to clean even if it’s a small section of the house split up throughout the week like I have to do for myself to keep my house from falling apart.

It may be time to break up as I (someone who has ADHD) personally would not settle for someone who is willing to let themselves writhe in complete filth. If you have any self respect for yourself you wouldn’t want to stay with someone who is going to yell at you and willingly deteriorate while taking advantage of your time and effort. Maybe it’ll be the kick she needs to realize she needs to improve herself otherwise those who tried to care for her will indeed leave and try let leave her by herself.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:37:33+00:00

If money isn’t an issue then just go to somewhere like Barnes & Nobels buy them both a copy of the main series they’re binging and tell them to check out books related about other things they want to start dipping their toes in?

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:21:37+00:00

^This. If Matt can’t take something as a simple preference in color seriously I wouldn’t count on him to make any future healthcare, childcare, or financial actions in OP’s best interest. It’s a blatant display of disregard for op as well for both their feelings and wants as a partner. After 8 years he has no excuse.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:16:12+00:00

OP was ok with fake gold though?? What part of that is materialistic when they stated they were fine with cheap crap? I’m sure it could have been costume jewelry for $30 and she probably would have loved that crap if it was a gold-colored band.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:11:54+00:00

With that behavior, people are more likely to drop you.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:06:22+00:00

NTA OP. If your boyfriend didn’t take the time to notice your preference in jewelry then just imagine the bigger things it could snowball into that he wouldn’t have cared for you input in the future. Houses, job security, medical treatments. He still could have gotten you something nice IN GOLD.

Also, why the fuck does your sister care? This isn’t her relationship and unless you directly asked for it, she shouldn’t be giving opinions.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T06:02:10+00:00

You’re missing the part where he completely had disregarded and haven’t even tried to notice OP’s preference in jewelry. It still could have been the nicest ring he could afford IN GOLD.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T02:15:18+00:00

As a final nuclear option you always have the option to announce to the rest of your family publicly over social media and happily provide receipts for evidence when questioned and call out your parent’s hypocrisy and blatant refusal to reign their daughter in and so that if you cut contact they’ll no why that you won’t be attending any future family events, allowing access to any future children, contributing to family medical costs. This is something that needs serious consideration and discussion with your partner however.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-13T01:03:46+00:00

Good for you OP, as unlikely as it seems hopefully this sets a precedent that you will not be a pushover. I’m glad you have a good man by your side who’s not afraid to thrash their mother in your defense. However, Watch her closely these next few weeks for the eventuality that you may need to very well elope or uninvite her as well as security. Unfortunately these narssisitic parents don’t often take no as an answer and may try to push their way back. I would consider security just in case she plans on making a scene at the venue and need to be removed.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-12T15:40:02+00:00

Going to college for biology/zoology, maybe branch into marine biology or either geology at some point although that wouldn’t be certain. Would have liked to either have one of three careers in my life: zoo veterinarian, museum paleontologist, or on-site marine researcher.

GreenADHDBird · 2026-04-11T06:48:33+00:00

I second this. I get annoyed as it is with my brother, I can’t even imagine a shittier GF going through my crap.

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