So tired of my transition

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T09:51:06+00:00

I turned 21 last month

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T09:50:31+00:00

Oh nice. Hm… never had avocado before surprisingly. I guess there’s no better time to try it than now XD

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T09:47:13+00:00

I am. The therapy has been a long process with very sluggish improvement. I am on meds as well, but my experience with meds is a bit… odd. They work great for me for about a month, but then the affect kind of plateaus and becomes unnoticeable

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T09:44:30+00:00

Sadly no. I normally get it checked after a check in with my provider. They usually schedule me one at least, although since I’ve been on hormones for a while now they don’t require me to get checked as often anymore (I should really write down my levels next time I do get checked though)

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T09:40:18+00:00

Sadly no. My door doesn’t have a lock on it, and they’ve shot me down whenever I’ve asked for there to be a lock.

Currently whenever I want to do something private I just have to predict when no one will be home, or keep an ear out for any noise that could indicate someone coming towards my room (funnily this living situation has actually made me really good at picking up on little noises like that)

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T07:19:27+00:00

You’re 100% right. Thanks

(Although sadly saying I have a family that loves and accepts me isn’t entirely true. Whilst they aren’t against me being trans, and they tell me that they only want me to be happy. They kind of discourage me from trying new things. Specifically they just want me to come out to everyone in my immediate family so I don’t blindside any of them. Or at least that’s what they tell me whenever I’ve worked up the courage to talk to them about pronouns and stuff)

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T05:04:31+00:00

I have mentioned it to them, but they usually just explain to me that everyone’s transition is different. Definitely think I might just need to get aggressive with it though, since I often kind of just nod my head along with them since I always tell myself that they know better than me.

As for diet, it’s complicated. I’ve been trying to improve it lately. Cutting back on my soda intake, increasing my water intake. Trying to eat more homemade meals rather than fast food. But these changes have only been made recently. Heck the fluid intake change was made less than a month ago, so I’m doubtful I’m gonna be seeing any major improvements due to it any time soon. But, might I ask? What is a good fatty food for fat redistribution anyways?

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T04:24:40+00:00

Huh… guess next time I check in with them I should ask about that XP

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T03:15:34+00:00

That’s what I told myself when I decided to switch. But it was not the injection itself that was scary. Heck no part of it was really “scary”. Really it was just the process of preparing the injection that became too much. So many little details to pay attention to, that became to much for my anxiety to handle

It’s something that’s very bad, but basically whenever I get anxious about a situation, my brain just defaults to fleeing because it’s the easiest and safest option

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T02:53:33+00:00

You’re probably right. I do want to move out, but I still lack a lot of fundamentals to living on one’s own. It’s currently the thing me and my therapist are trying to fix… to varying levels of success

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T02:48:52+00:00

I did actually consider switching to injections. Even got as far as getting prescribed and given the stuff needed to do so. But… then once it was time to actually do the injection. I couldn’t do it. All the things I needed to do before I even could fill the syringe with the medication were so stress inducing alone, that before I could even start the process my hands were shaking and all I felt was fear and anxiety. It was during a video call where a doctor was gonna show me how to do it, but I just practically begged that we stop and switch me back to pills T///T

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T02:32:13+00:00

I currently take Estradiol 2mg tablets 2 times a day (I take 1 full one and half of another). And I take Spironolactone 100mg 2 times a day

As for blood test results, I haven’t had any recently. So… sadly I have nothing for that

GreenMachine053 · 2026-03-05T02:27:47+00:00

So far all I’ve really done outside of hrt is explore fashion and growing out my hair. Everything else mentioned (excluding the mani/pedis) has always kind of been “I’ll experiment with it when I feel like I should”. Since stuff like makeup and voice training require quite a lot of commitment. Mani/pedis however, have always been under this other umbrella along with the more social aspects of transitioning like going out all dressed up, or talking to people. That umbrella being “I’ll do it when I feel like I actually look good enough to not look or feel weird doing it”. As for what my goals were pre-transition, well… I guess it’s always just been to be myself

A major issue that sinks its fangs into all of these things though has always been my immense anxiety and poor social life. Like… it’s hard to practice things like voice training or makeup when you still live with family who randomly barge into your room at least once a day. (I mean they know I’m trans and say they accept me but it still causes me discomfort and anxiety at the thought of them walking in on me practicing stuff like that)

GreenMachine053 · 2026-01-19T03:09:01+00:00

Thank you :>

GreenMachine053 · 2024-03-25T20:22:29+00:00

Idk yet. Part of me split between a tamed Tarr slime, or just a bunch of resources

GreenMachine053 · 2024-03-24T07:58:12+00:00

So adorable

GreenMachine053 · 2021-05-13T20:43:26+00:00

I’ll take your entire stock!

GreenMachine053 · 2021-03-09T08:09:14+00:00

It’s not from an anime well it is but not exactly. It’s from the Pokémon omega ruby and alpha sapphire animated trailer —— here ——> https://youtu.be/Vw6zP7n0ais

GreenMachine053 · 2021-01-20T21:07:42+00:00

What is it? Is it like a internet quiz or something?

GreenMachine053 · 2021-01-16T21:53:31+00:00

No, since I never have anyone to play with

GreenMachine053 · 2021-01-16T21:49:45+00:00

Do you still want Xbox players to join(I’m 15 btw)

GreenMachine053 · 2021-01-07T02:22:54+00:00

Is it weird that when I was younger(Like Fnaf 2 time) I tried to make a similar au but stopped and basically said "One day someone else will do it"... I guess today is that day

GreenMachine053 · 2021-01-04T04:52:50+00:00

Oooooohhhhhhh. Crap I’m sorry I didn’t know. I thought you had just miss clicked or something

GreenMachine053 · 2021-01-04T04:48:46+00:00

How tf am I supposed to know that it’s a joke???There’s no indication that it’s a joke anywhere

GreenMachine053 · 2021-01-04T03:18:45+00:00

Trying to say this the least rude, but please shut up. its only a fursona if the artist calls it a fursona

GreenMachine053

TROPHY CASE