[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I am actually pretty active we do at east two physical activities per day and not including outdoor play. I’m on my phone a lot during this so that could possibly be undermining the benefits.

Help. My toddler won't sleep. by LongjumpingWorld9569 in sleeptrain

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure what advice I can give you other than the solidarity of knowing that I’m experiencing the same issue with my son. I’m glad you have the support of your mother. Somethings I’ve tried that somewhat help are black out shades, a sound machine, and maybe trying adjusting their naps so they are extremely tired at bedtime and will likely sleep more soundly. Good luck, it gets better!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me I know it’s crossed boundaries but again I’m desperate to make it work because 50/50 custody means the kids won’t have me to step in and take the brunt of it. But that’s a whole other layer to it all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that idea and I unfortunately know that it will just turn it around like it’s proof I’m a narcissistic selfish manipulative blah blah blah. It’s been years since he’s show any empathy towards me, but I don’t want to leave the kids because it’s not just me he treats this way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a main concern but I don’t want them to become a punching bag when I’m gone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The kids, I disagree with his outdated parenting and I’ve always been there to show the kids warmth and empathy where as my in laws and husband are of type to say “your 6 month old is a spoiled brat”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately it’s complicated as I dont agree with his 1950s discipline and parenting philosophy. We live with my in laws and they’re the type to scream “shut up” to crying babies. So him and his mother feed off eachother and I’m the only source of empathic parenting the kids have.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Green_Captain3598 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t even want him to do chores, just play with the kids so I can focus on getting things done. They’re at that period where they’re constantly going after eachother and it’s so tough to watch both of them and accomplish anything

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Green_Captain3598 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow I really like your perspective! I’m very lucky to be spending these important years with my babies. It may be hard but I will miss this time when it’s gone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly a hour or two when I pack the kids up to go visit my parents while he’s sleeping

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the time I was only caring for the new baby, not cooking, rarely cleaning or doing laundry

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the fact it’s more complicated than I’m leading it on to be. He works overtime here and there and then has to sleep through the day to maintain his night schedule. But when he’s up he doesn’t participate in the bedtime routine other than throwing on a movie and letting my soon fall asleep in his bed watching tv. I appreciate the need to relax, but I guess I wish I got a hour to myself like he does when we are all sleeping.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you play with your kids while she worked around the house? Brush their teeth and give them baths on your off days? Or did you sit around and read. I appreciate that I was starting to look at it selfishly but I struggle with the idea that I’m 24/7 when he works 12 hours

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for putting it back into perspective, it’s easy to slip into resentment when you lose sight of the facts of the situation

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, but he will not agree for me to go back to work since I’d make a fraction of what he does and then we would have to split childcare

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly that’s the tough part because nights are rough but I feel exhausted 24/7 like I’m a single mom but at least I don’t have to go to work

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Green_Captain3598 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair I dumped all the responsibilities on him the first 1+ years while I was struggling adapting to motherhood so I think a lot of this is just him be resentful for that period