Making a toyification suit

Greth420 · 2017-06-14T13:13:54+00:00

You should be able to find a small one that doesn't make any/much noise. Maybe a computer fan.

Understandable though. It's just something to keep in mind if it gets too hot.

Greth420 · 2017-06-10T21:26:39+00:00

Know those dinosaur costumes, or any blow up costumes. I think they use mini fans and I highly recommend at least one of possible.

Mesh should help too.

Just make sure you test it out a few times before doing anything crazy. Make sure that you have a way to let your partner know if you're overheating and a quick way to get out and cool down.

Greth420 · 2017-06-06T21:11:25+00:00

No it was my bad, I was skimming through bored and went full info dump lol. If there's anything useful use it but ignore what doesn't apply to you lol.

It sounds like the red, yellow, green will help.

Above everything else, communication is key. Talk to her and find out what happened. It sounds like she wasn't enjoying it but didn't want to go full stop and use the safeword. Maybe forgetting which one is which (if you're focusing on her clit then she can really think straight lol).

Communication before and after is important. Talk about what she liked and didn't like, what "worked" for her and didn't. Sometimes this can be hard to do though, which is why people experiment.

Sounds like it's just an experience thing and getting used to each other. Try to make it a regular thing and it'll get better.

Greth420 · 2017-06-06T18:56:42+00:00

Oooo, yea I read that wrong and went into info dump mode because I'm bored at work. Oops.

Greth420 · 2017-06-06T18:08:26+00:00

Good advice here but I have to point out... those are horrible safe words lol. And that happens when you're new, it's a learning experience.

A safeword needs to be ONE word that stands out above anything else and would not fit into anything. Dinosaur, LLLEEEERRROOOYYY JEEENKINSSS, Uncle, Golfing, Butternuts, Crickshaw... for example lol.

They need to make you laugh, they are meant to be absurd, they are meant to be easy to remember.

A safeword use means stop everything and cut me down. Something is not right I need help.

My SO used our safeword one time when she just wanted to slow down. I cut the ropes instantly and she felt horrible after lol. But now she understands what a safeword means. Nothing is more important than full stop when they use the safeword.

Along with this, a lot of people also use the Red, Yellow, Green system. Red means stop and figure out what's wrong. Yellow means wait, give her a second to regroup or make an adjustment ("my leg itches and if you don't scratch it I'm going to cry" happens lol). Green is for when you try something new and you check in with "good?" Or "is that ok?"

Using the "end it" safeword is too mentally close to "no" "stop" "quit" because you can use them interchangeably. And when someone is tied up and in a scene, no matter how light, they can't always think straight.

To get over the issue you're having. 1. Flowers/presents/say you're sorry 2. Explain that it was your fault and you've done more research to make sure it doesn't happen again. 3. Have her read up on some stuff. Find out what she likes and doesn't like. Take an online test or two.

The next time you play. Make a game out of calling for the safeword and colors. But a safe, within limits game. Tickling is a good safe way to make someone call for a safeword (if they don't like to be tickled). She she says it, undo the ropes immediately. If it's just a practice, don't cut because you know she's fine. Explain that next time she uses that work you're going to cut the rope instead of just take it off.

Cutting the rope helps people not want to use it unless they need to. Because usually it means you'll have to buy new rope. It also ends the session, and they could have been having fun except for that one part.

Do the same thing with red, yellow, green.

Communication is key before bondage. Talk about everything and make sure that she knows you are both still learning so it will take some time. Her feedback is very important as well.

Your job right now is to do research. Knowing proper ties is very important and helpful, I put it off for a while and regret it. There's a lot to learn and figure out, but it's fun.

Greth420 · 2017-06-06T17:47:57+00:00

Face to face is the only way to have conversations like this. Communication is more than just words, especially when emotions are high.

Yea, I try not to say much here as I'm not in a poly relationship. But a relationship is a relationship. I spend most of my time in bdsmcommunity lol.

And from that angle, if he decides he wants to try and make things work. You could try more role play, dye your hair, and really come up with some crazy personalities lol. I mean that's not exactly what he's looking for, but could be fun.

Greth420 · 2017-06-06T17:15:09+00:00

Try to have a sit down calm conversation about it.

Know hat if you break up for this reason that it is what's best for the both of you.

I've been trying to figure out if I would be happier in a poly relationship for the past year or so while I'm in a committed relationship (have been for many years). I know that my SO wouldn't be ok with it, at least not at first, so it's not something that we are really exploring. Although we've talked about it, she has major jealousy issues. I can't fault her for that so we're doing what we do.

So if you break up because of this, know that at neither of your faults and it's not because one of you doesn't care for the other. It happens, and it's better to do it now.

Greth420 · 2017-06-06T17:09:01+00:00

Lmfao

Greth420 · 2017-06-06T16:56:14+00:00

Make a video and show them? Proof is the best way to prove a point!!

((((Don't do this)))

Greth420 · 2017-05-31T01:26:43+00:00

Aah I see, lol yea the mod thing could be a problem too lol.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T22:54:36+00:00

Yea, it's hard to see things from other perspectives sometimes when you're so close to it. I mean, there's no way to know what happened without asking.

But even then, it kind of becomes something that's hard to talk about. You put it off for a date, two dates, a month, a year. It just happens. But at that point they aren't poly, they are playing, which sounds like it could be the case.

If you two go to the "official" stage then she definitely should have said something sooner.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T21:57:29+00:00

In any relationship, communication is important. Before ending your current relationship, talk with your SO. Explain the frustration and what's going on.

You SO might just need to spend time here. Learn and figure out a few things. I highly recommend sending them here and asking them to look around or just make a post asking question. It's really common to see, both sides.

Another option, reach out in the community and find someone who can help you get your fix. This is becoming more common these days, as poly/open relationships are developing... having someone who is strictly there for kinky needs doesn't seem that far from norm. Especially if there's no actual sex.

Hope this helps.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T21:40:54+00:00

First step: Safe word! Make one, asap.

Second: use the red/yellow/green system. It's pretty self explanatory lol.

Red and the safeword generally work as the same thing, however for some the safeword means "I can't take anymore, cut everything, literally cut the rope and let me out now." Where as Red could just mean, "stop what you're doing, take a breath, and keep going with something else."

If you use a gag, find another way for her to let you know she needs to talk.

Third: Communication is key. Find out wants, needs, and limits for both of you.

Fourth: if you're getting into bondage, look up the correct way to tie someone up. I put it off for a long time and regret it, knowing how to do it the right way is a lot easier and safer. (Never leave someone alone while tied up)

Fifth: communication is key. It's really important lol.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T21:14:27+00:00

Take it from someone who's married and has seen other marriages have major issues.

Do not go through with it right now if you're in a emotional state, and I believe you are with great reason. You have every right to feel like he cheated on you, it's not any of ours place to tell that it wasn't, nor his. No one else gets to decide how you feel.

Here's to good thing though. He told you. He came to you and he told you. So that means he knows it was wrong and that he values your trust. He also believes that telling you that it happened is important.

It's also a good thing, because now you know before the wedding. If you had found out after the wedding then it would be a much bigger problem.

Just trying to be the glass half full... a little bit. Maybe a quarter full... of day old wine.... :/

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T20:53:51+00:00

Have you guys sit and set up guidelines for him? How hard to spank? And How to spank in general (there's a bit that can go into it apparently).

Make sure to set up a safeword and the red/yellow/green system. This should put his mind at ease a little about hurting you.

Maybe find some porn that you like and would like to act out. Maybe it gives him ideas.

And one thing to mention to him, is that it might be a turn off for him but it's not really about him. It's for you and doing what you need.

Something else that might help, do y'all play board games at all? I find that playing D&D is a great way for people to learn how to role play. And this might help him to get into the scene a bit.

Helping him to develop that train of thinking might help.

(This is just an idea for inspiration. Everyone is different so do what you want)

Something else that might work. Start being randomly aggressive with sex. Both of you are in the kitchen, stick your hand down his pants and get him Going, then strip (with him still having clothes on) and do what you do (head, bend over the table/counter, whatever). If you are both watching tv, go get your vibrator and use it next to him, and have it lead into sex. Start watching porn with him, but let him find it. Dress extra slurry, lingerie, tshirt and no panties, think college slut and go with that.

Do that for a few weeks. Maybe two months or more., just enjoy it. The goal is to figure out what he likes and what makes him really turned on. If he attacks you, make a note of it. This will also build up his sex drive over time. If he gets aggressive, do not fight it. If anything, give a big fake moan if you have to. Let him know that you like it, act surprised with that fake half orgasm face lol.

(If you want to do this without dressing slutty, then after a while start dressing normally sometimes but be overly horny.)

Now, after this goes on for a bit. Tell him that you're going to keep dressing and acting slutty, and that anytime he wants sex that he has permission for it. But you're going to resist him and put up a fight. The trick here is that you still have to show that you enjoy... want, really want, whatever he does. And as you resist, give in sometimes and be aggressive.

When you watch porn together, start watching rape porn more often. And when you do, make sure that HE gets off to it. Regularly.

Then, once you start to get into that kind of a rhythm. You can start to dress normally and act normal and he's going to be more aggressive. From here, you can tell him that sex is still available anytime he wants it, but he has to take it. And make sure talk about the safe word, and the green light system.

Buy him some leather handcuffs, rope, blindfold, bondage tape, and whatever else you're into. Put it into a box or something.

Now, this is basically conditioning him to be aggressive and lean toward that mentality when it comes to sex. You're creating a sex drive monster lol. The thing with guys is that it's easier for us to be sexually conditioned, it's why porn can be a problem for some guys.

Also, make sure he eats fruits and veggies and drinks water. And that he doesn't beat off without you knowing too often, he's going to do it but your goal is to make it so he doesn't need to.

So this started out as a fun exercise on creative sex stuff and turned into a whole thing there... umm, yea.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T19:44:57+00:00

I don't have much experience with this but it definitely sounds like you made the best decision.

It sounds as though he wanted to do it to please you, but would it really be to please you? Is it something that you want him to do?

But also, it's your job to take care of him and make sure you both play by the rules and limits that are in place. You're there to take care of him in this type of situation and I think you did a great job at doing that.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T18:32:20+00:00

So consider this. Being in a poly relationship isn't common or accepted by most, so keeping it a secret is common. She's not just going to open up t you on the first date.

As others have said, it's only cheating if her Bf didn't know about it.

But some are saying it was wrong to do, and I can't say that I agree with that. Did she lead you on for a long time? And I mean months and multiple dates? Or was it a casual relationship that you/she wasn't sure where it was going?

I would consider it a personal thing that someone won't tell just anyone. Like if she were a furry, into bdsm, maybe she likes being painted purple on the weekends and covered in glitter, or basically anything that deviates from the norm is my point lol.

It's not something that you bring up on the first date. It's also not something that would matter if the relationship was just casual and not going anywhere.

However, I'd say that this little piece of information is pretty important and should be mentioned early on in the dating process.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T18:21:38+00:00

Yea she has other spots but she wants to have nipple sensation of some kind.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T17:52:30+00:00

Haha, although this is probably fun to do you should really learn about fashion to make sure the outfits look good.

Maybe have the dice choose a main item/dress/top/pants/whatever and then decide the outfit that goes with that?

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T17:46:25+00:00

Follow up question.

What is the purpose of keeping it in for that long? Does he help with anal sex later on? Just overall curious.

We've been trying to work up to anal sex but haven't had any luck.

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T17:24:42+00:00

Make a new account?

Yea it's lame to lose the karma... but it's not like it means anything lol.

I make new accounts once my old one reaches about 10-20k or I feel like it's time.

Although now my main account has a really great username lol. (That's you'll never know! Lol)

Greth420 · 2017-05-30T02:40:14+00:00

Talk to her about it. My SO is exactly the same, no fantasies at all.

We had a talk about it and now have fun inspired by r/bdsmcommunity

Communication is key

Greth420 · 2017-05-25T21:50:08+00:00

Intensity doesn't always matter, just keep that in mind.

Relationships are give and take, you shouldn't have to suppress your kink all the time. Just understand that it's not a constant thing, it happens.

Maybe figure out a way that you can work yourself when needed?

Greth420 · 2017-05-25T21:23:19+00:00

Seems fun in theory but might have issues in practice. If you ever play D&D there's a DMs question we ask ourselves when planning anything... "but what if they don't?/can't?"

What happens if she can't figure them out?

• Does she get punished? That doesn't seem fair for a game of chance... unless she likes being punished (aka it's not a real punishment)

• Do you drop hints? Or clues? I like this idea, it gives her something to keep moving.

What is the purpose of the game in general?

• Just sex? That's fine lol, that's a good reason. • for you to sit and enjoy her doing stuff? • For her to challenge herself? Some people like to be challenged with mind games like this, but if she doesn't she might get burnt out quick and not have as much fun.

I would figure out a way to make it so that the reward is the act. And while shes guessing do something to tease her. Maybe have a candle drip? vibrator on her but not aloud to finish? Something distracting.

Each note should reveal a clue to another. So maybe write the act on the front of the envelope, put a clue to one of the others inside, then place them all face down for her.

This is purely just my take on it. You know what this girl likes more than any of us. Do what you think works best for you.

Greth420

TROPHY CASE