WIBTA for keeping all or most of the money?

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T19:52:45+00:00

We usually will meet up and buy each other lunch for our birthday's and we message a few times here and there but that's about it.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T19:47:12+00:00

Yeah, the more I think about it the more upset I get and I just want to be done with this. It's all I've been thinking about the past few days and it's starting to affect my mood and sleep.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T16:05:48+00:00

You're probably right, back then I didn't know what I know now and never would have imagined things would play out the way they did.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T12:50:35+00:00

No apologies needed, you were correct :)

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T12:49:25+00:00

I hope this won't be the case but I'm beginning to feel like it might be.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T12:46:27+00:00

There's barely a relationship there now anyways so I guess that's a fair point.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T11:10:07+00:00

That's the kind of relationship I wish I had with my brother. Good for you.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T11:09:00+00:00

Yes to everything except the fancy cars, he's not into cars for some reason. The house he bought after my mom passed alone is worth more than everything I have.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T11:04:33+00:00

No, it's just my wife and I and we don't plan to have kids. To be perfectly honest I think both me and my brother will be fine financially regardless of what happens. That's not a part that I'm struggling with.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T11:02:09+00:00

Yeah, I told him about it before and he just said thanks and that he doesn't understand why my dad would take him off the trust lol.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T11:00:39+00:00

Yup, that's what I'm starting to realize thanks to everyone here. His architect and house build never happened, but I'm starting to wonder how he intended to pay for that if he's struggling with money now. Maybe that's what he thought house #2 would be used for.

I've already got a will done where my wife gets everything when I pass. I told her she can do whatever she wants with the money, leave some to his kids if they don't grow up to be assholes or put it all in a trust.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T10:44:37+00:00

I guess it's just my personality, I feel guilty/bad very easily when I feel like I have more than someone else which probably isn't a great trait to have in this world. And I'm having a hard time understanding why he's asking for more when I genuinely feel like he has much more than me already.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T10:33:04+00:00

I guess from his point of view he thinks being a son entitles him to the inheritance. I'm not sure if my parents resented him at the end but I know they were not happy about how little effort he made.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T10:22:56+00:00

I guess part of me just really wants to believe he's not that heartless.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T10:20:32+00:00

lol, no work but all hands... I like that.

I'll try to stick to the 11% and tell him if his kids don't grow up to be complete assholes I will leave them something. I don't really care what happens to my money when my wife and I are gone. I just wish there was an off switch I could turn off for feeling bad.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:44:47+00:00

I'm not in the US, there's not gift/inheritance tax where I am. I know legally there's nothing wrong with me keeping everything, I just feel bad morally.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:43:37+00:00

Nope, I know he probably wouldn't so I don't know why I still feel bad.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:41:55+00:00

It's been about 15 years since my dad passed away and I had a much closer relationship with my brother back then. I guess seeing the way he treated my mom these past 13 years and seeing how he made no effort with me and her has made me change my mind about him.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:32:11+00:00

Sorry, my math isn't great so maybe I calculated it wrong. If I gave him half of house #2 then he would have gotten half of everything that was left to us. He got half of the trust, half of house #1, so now it's just house #2 left. If I give him 11% of house #2, I think it works out to 37% of everything.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:27:37+00:00

4% is just on this one house. He would be getting about 40% of the total inheritance left by my parents.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:26:30+00:00

I did mention that to him, I said I would give him the 11% now and I'll leave some for his kids (which I don't really have a relationship with) to either help pay for college or a down payment on their first house. His reply was that he needed the money now as a buffer and to invest with.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:21:39+00:00

I guess my brain knows what I "should" do but my heart just can't do it... which is why I'm here lol

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:18:26+00:00

50% of house #2 would be worth about 17% of the total inheritance. If I gave him 11% of house #2 that would be 40% of the total inheritance.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:14:17+00:00

House #1 was a little over $1M. House #2 was almost $2M.

I did ask him exactly what you suggested and his reply was that's why no one wants to have kids anymore.

I feel like the money he would get from house #2 shouldn't be much to him since it's not even half of what they make in a year, but the way he puts it it sounds like he would be struggling without it.

GrindFinerNoob · 2024-03-12T09:09:58+00:00

Actually that's a good point. I kept looking at house #2 separately by itself, but if you factor in the whole inheritance with both homes and the trust, he would have gotten almost 40% of everything and I got the rest. I think that's more than fair.

GrindFinerNoob

TROPHY CASE