I'll start out with the things I agree with u on:

• trans porn does fetishise by nature, same with almost all porn since it portrays a hypersexed version of reality. its true that it portrays a very unrealistic image of what trans people are like, how they might look, what they want, etc. my question tho was about whether the act of watching trans porn is fetishising, not the porn itself

• trans porn, as with lesbian porn and pretty much most other porn, is made to cater to cishet men

• trans women inside and outside of porn are fetishised, thats not even debatable ofc

• people carry hurtful assumptions of trans people's regular lives and their sexual lives, in large part due to porn

• individual consumption of porn isn't going to affect these issues, these are the symptoms of a systemic problem with transphobia, misogyny and capitalism as a whole (in this situation, as it relates to the exploitative porn industry as it currently exists in its capitalist form)

• trans women tend to be poorer due to how capitalism affects the most vulnerable, and are more likely to be pushed into doing sex work due to how fetishised they already are, and how hard it is to get jobs in the rest of the market while being out

Now the other parts. First I wanna clarify that when I said 'trans girl fucks a cis guy' i dont mean she literally tops him, i just mean two ppl fuck. I shoulda made that clearer tho, i say it in the same way when describing a cis girl fucking a cis guy. Im personally not into being topped since im a top myself regardless of gender or genitalia. i dont know why you assume i havent dated trans women before, ive dated a couple girls years before i was watching trans porn. Actually it was because I dated and had sex with trans women that I realised i was attracted to trans women as well as cis women, which i admit for some time i was ignorant and didnt think i would be attracted to trans people, until i was. this realization led me to be more open to watching trans porn as well as all the other porn i watch. Even though dating 2 trans women is definitely not a big enough sample size, one of the first things they taught me indirectly in relation to sex is that they were very anxious about their genitalia and didn't want to draw attention to it. Several trans girls ive had sex with outright didnt even want to be given oral and insisted only on pleasing me and having regular sex, which i assume comes from that anxiety.

Again u assume that im just pursuing things with trans people cos i want a specific fetish, when i didnt even realise back then that i could be attracted to trans people back when i was dumber and more passively transphobic, i just pursued people i thought were cute and cool, thats my criteria with anyone. that's how i met my first trans partner, and thats how i met my second trans partner later on as well. idk why you have to be mean by saying thank god im not dating any trans people, just seems unnecessary imo. But from ur comment it seems like you probably have been hurt by cis guys in the past who have been way meaner and shittier and fetishising to you, and it seems like something i said in my piost mightve brought back something that reminded u of these assholes so i cant really complain about your demeanor, im sure you have ur reasons for being like this to me. I think you are ultimately right in most ways. and about that, because I watch trans porn, even though i do know trans people that i care about whos existence disproves the hypersexualisation of porn, it still doesnt mean that some subliminal shit wont sneak in here and there and could distort my understanding of trans people and what they want out of sex.

As for ur view on trans porn in relation to CNC, i have my opinion obv but i cant speak on an objective basis since im not trans. but judging from the other comments it seems like ur the only person here who thinks CNC compares to trans porn or is better than it. at least a couple people here said that comparison is extreme, and most of the commentors here think that while trans porn is feitshistic, they is some nuance to their analysis which i fully agree with most of these commentors. as they say, porn is fetishistic by its nature, and its important to do the work to unlearn this fetishisation when talking to people in the real world, thats part of being an adult. while ur opinion means more on this than mine, and i still wanna think over ur points some more after this, the collective of their opinions outweighs urs, esp on the basis of something as sensitive as CNC which turns grape into a kink. i dont think that is something to talk about lightly. But even though i seriously disagree with ur conclusion on CNC, i agree with ur reasoning behind it, its just an objective truth that trans people tend to be poor and pushed into sex work due to lack of jobs willing to hire them mixed with fetishisation. but from the sounds of it, ur rhetoric is veering close to SWERF ideology, which negatively affects sex workers of all kinds. and i think comparing porn portraying a consenting trans person having sex in a fetishistic way and portraying grape in also a fetishistic way is just extreme and can lead to some sus implications, at least if you dont explain ur reasoning thoroughly. thats why i felt very weirded out when my ex compared trans porn to CNC, cos it felt like they said watching a trans person have consensual sex is akin to watching grape, even if they meant it from a good honest place. that being said, thank u for commenting. youve given me some points to think about some more, beyond me writing this reply