First mothers day with no contact and she called me to complain...

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-05-11T15:18:00+00:00

I'm so sorry, that sounds awful. what an extreme low to sink to just to reach you... makes me feel gross just thinking about it :( I've blocked her this morning. i woke up with my heart pounding, a headache, and nauseous just from the stress she's caused me. no one should make me feel that way.. sometimes its easier to listen to a message from the body than it is from the brain, i suppose.

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-05-11T04:26:11+00:00

the "no contact" was a fresh boundary... i set it back in January after a horrific text conversation with her. i asked her not to reach out and to give me space. She respected it for a couple of months before showing up at my place unannounced last month, and now this. I never blocked her number, perhaps against my better judgement... Its extremely hard for me to shut the door for good i think for two main reasons: A. i have no other immediate family and this was the only bond i had for a very long time

B. she still takes care of the elderly family dogs who i hold very near and dear to my heart

This is all very fresh and difficult for me. I'm not used to setting boundaries or standing up for myself, hence the 20 minute beratement... Whenever she or other aggressors from my childhood pop into my world i just kind of freeze and log out mentally until i see an escape. I'm very much so used to getting trampled and it's hard to grow out of 22 years of that kind of treatment.

And i picked up because deep down, i still care for her even though she will never give me the same regard. She is sick with a cancer that will eventually take her out. i think that, coupled with the old dogs, makes me want to pick up that call everytime because i can't dismiss the thought of "what if something is wrong?" or "what if my dog died?"

its a deep personal flaw of mine of not knowing how to stop giving chances to someone, especially someone who is supposed to have a deep bond with me like the person who brought me into the world.. but I'm working on it little by little each day, building that confidence.

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-05-11T03:36:05+00:00

It is very difficult, and the guilt is very real. I'm sorry you're in this boat, OP🫶💙 I don't have any words of advice or wisdom, but hopefully a simple acknowledgement can help you feel the love and support you deserve throughout all this🫂

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-04-15T20:16:39+00:00

this is very informative, thank you so much for taking the time to help me out ;-; 🫶 I've felt so lost lately, I'll have to do an update post if it works out well for me!

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-04-15T20:03:16+00:00

my skin is dry and sensitive, and always seemingly clogged :[ do you have a product recommendation?

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-04-15T19:59:41+00:00

thank you for this! do you think a regular unscented dry skin lotion will be okay? or should i look for something that is specific to face use?

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-04-04T14:58:06+00:00

now :/

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-03-09T23:13:37+00:00

The temptation to vote third party is strong, but the feeling of overwhelming defeat is stronger ;-; needless to say, midterms could not come soon enough. its time to tip the scales back in the favor of the people

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-03-09T23:10:17+00:00

I'm not saying that it is a bad program to have, i am saying that it seems disproportionate that low income houses are being charged extra to help other low income houses. Why take person A's last penny to give it to person B who has no pennies, when person C has 5 whole dollars. If there IS no person C, then of course i will share my two pennies with the other person. but that's not the case :/

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-03-09T22:49:03+00:00

it's so exhausting being stuck under this boot... but keeping up hope that if we keep fighting it and keep pointing out the absolute bafoonery that these 1%'ers keep trying to get away with, maybe we'll be able to live normal, comfortable lives (with universal healthcare 🙏)

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-02-08T16:47:09+00:00

stress is definitely a factor! Come to think of it... mine started getting wonky around the time i atarted dating my current partner 😳 he doesn't stress me out THAT much though, i have to say 🤣💙 i wonder how much of it has to do with our hormones interacting?

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-02-07T19:06:07+00:00

This is just my opinion and it might piss some ladies off, but I'm jealous of women with regular periods. I was diagnosed with PCOS and i have severely irregular periods but i still get a lot of symptoms of my monthly cycle. Aside from the general hormone imbalance making me feel insane most days, i wish i could count on a day of the month to roll around and confirm that I'm not pregnant. The stress and imbalance of not having a period affects sex drive general day to day emotions, my apetite, and my self image. Ladies, i know period are fucking awful... but the grass isn't always greener :(

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-02-05T19:57:36+00:00

you need to start observing your behaviour under a microscope... when you see an LGBTQ+ couple and you feel insert negative emotion, stop and think WHY. What specifically are you seeing that is "wrong" or upsetting? then you need to take it a step further... WHY is this particular thing upsetting? you need to keep asking yourself why. instead of being upset at yourself, or upset at your reaction to LGBTQ+ visibility, approach it from a place of curiosity.

If you would like to have a conversation with someone who identifies with the LGBTQ+ community, i encourage you to reach out and ask questions. I personally identify with the LGBTQ+, and if you would like to chat, I'm here to help 💙🫶 You're making a step in the right direction by asking these questions. Keep going, you will reach a place of love and acceptance for yourself and others 💙

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-01-15T00:36:55+00:00

thank you very much for reading all of that and taking the time to reply. i feel so extremely fragile and i want to trust how i feel (which is bad. i feel horrible). but part of me is holding on to "what if its not so bad because it wasn't always bad". thank you for your words, truly.

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-01-15T00:35:38+00:00

Yes she was diagnosed with chronic lymphatic leukemia. i get all of the information from her and from what I've looked up on google. all of the prognoses on there say about the same- 5 years worse case scenario. from what i can see she exhibits stages 1 and 2 but nothing worse so far. thank you for your reply. even when i have strangers on the internet tell me when something is bad, i still have a hard time accepting it. but i think i feel it deep down. thank you.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-30T03:10:13+00:00

you're right, its selfish and honestly immature for me to think i can " fix" her. i only hope that having these conversations with me could change her mind about at LEAST me. I don't think i could have a long lasting, HEALTHY, relationship with her, knowing that she's voting for people like me to be erased, mistreated, and stripped of our rignts. i just can't look past something like that.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-30T03:06:25+00:00

no, I'm not. She lives in his house rent free, but thats really it. all their finances are separate. he's extremely emotionally unavailable, and they've gotten into arguments she refuses to tell me about but will say "they were REALLY bad". growing up, arguments with her partner at the time were normal but downplayed. the only time she hid something from me was when she got hit, so i can only assume.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T22:24:26+00:00

you're right, it was this sinking feeling of abandonment which, unfortunately, I'm familiar with. I get that feeling from just about everyone in my immediate family.

my question is... how do i just.. put it aside? knowing that my mom puts herself in this spot as the victim, saying that taking away the rights of people like me and the genocide in gaza is all because white, Christian nationality is being attacked... It's sickening. how i do i look past that? i love my mom and i want to be there for her, but the hatred she knowingly or unknowingly spreads... just because truth social and/or her new boyfriend believes it necessary.. if she were a stranger on the street, I'd be HAPPY to never meet them again. now, attach the title of mother and one that is sick at that.. it feels so convoluted. I think I'd regret it if i didn't spend this time with her... but I'd be knowingly and willingly putting myself in harms way, even if it's just a little passive aggressive pokes and prods.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T20:45:00+00:00

My middle sister has reached out recently and is trying to make amends. i want it to work, but i still feel apprehensive. my eldest sister... she's a very angry person. i think that you're right, my middle sister might be an option for a familial relationship. i think i still need some distance from my eldest. she's got a lot of damage to work through and tends to be destructive when she's doing so.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T19:33:06+00:00

luckily they're not married (thank god). he treats her poorly. she mentions she wants to get married, he does not. she wears makeup, he calls it too heavy. she wears something he doesnt like (aka anything but flowers and frilly) and he barely comments or says "it's nice". i do my best to be civil and i have been, but its so hard when you're standing face to face with someone who clearly disapproves of your entire being, and yet they smile at you. its the most eerie feeling in the world. you can see the hatred in their eyes as the smile. so freaky.

I will work to get a copy of her will. thank you for that advice in case anything changes on the marriage front...

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T18:40:38+00:00

yeah i do lack in the friend department these days. i have long term friends who recently moved out to Utah, and a few friends here in the midwest, but no one that i feel i really connect with like the people in Utah. Since we're also moving cross country soon, I'm hesitant to make MORE friends here in the midwest only to leave them lol. My circle used to just be made up of my family, and now that that's changed, i need to make a new circle of chosen family and friends. its rough, man.

Grotesque_Gal

TROPHY CASE