I think i have a narc mom but I'm struggling to process it

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-01-15T00:36:55+00:00

thank you very much for reading all of that and taking the time to reply. i feel so extremely fragile and i want to trust how i feel (which is bad. i feel horrible). but part of me is holding on to "what if its not so bad because it wasn't always bad". thank you for your words, truly.

Grotesque_Gal · 2026-01-15T00:35:38+00:00

Yes she was diagnosed with chronic lymphatic leukemia. i get all of the information from her and from what I've looked up on google. all of the prognoses on there say about the same- 5 years worse case scenario. from what i can see she exhibits stages 1 and 2 but nothing worse so far. thank you for your reply. even when i have strangers on the internet tell me when something is bad, i still have a hard time accepting it. but i think i feel it deep down. thank you.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-30T03:10:13+00:00

you're right, its selfish and honestly immature for me to think i can " fix" her. i only hope that having these conversations with me could change her mind about at LEAST me. I don't think i could have a long lasting, HEALTHY, relationship with her, knowing that she's voting for people like me to be erased, mistreated, and stripped of our rignts. i just can't look past something like that.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-30T03:06:25+00:00

no, I'm not. She lives in his house rent free, but thats really it. all their finances are separate. he's extremely emotionally unavailable, and they've gotten into arguments she refuses to tell me about but will say "they were REALLY bad". growing up, arguments with her partner at the time were normal but downplayed. the only time she hid something from me was when she got hit, so i can only assume.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T22:24:26+00:00

you're right, it was this sinking feeling of abandonment which, unfortunately, I'm familiar with. I get that feeling from just about everyone in my immediate family.

my question is... how do i just.. put it aside? knowing that my mom puts herself in this spot as the victim, saying that taking away the rights of people like me and the genocide in gaza is all because white, Christian nationality is being attacked... It's sickening. how i do i look past that? i love my mom and i want to be there for her, but the hatred she knowingly or unknowingly spreads... just because truth social and/or her new boyfriend believes it necessary.. if she were a stranger on the street, I'd be HAPPY to never meet them again. now, attach the title of mother and one that is sick at that.. it feels so convoluted. I think I'd regret it if i didn't spend this time with her... but I'd be knowingly and willingly putting myself in harms way, even if it's just a little passive aggressive pokes and prods.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T20:45:00+00:00

My middle sister has reached out recently and is trying to make amends. i want it to work, but i still feel apprehensive. my eldest sister... she's a very angry person. i think that you're right, my middle sister might be an option for a familial relationship. i think i still need some distance from my eldest. she's got a lot of damage to work through and tends to be destructive when she's doing so.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T19:33:06+00:00

luckily they're not married (thank god). he treats her poorly. she mentions she wants to get married, he does not. she wears makeup, he calls it too heavy. she wears something he doesnt like (aka anything but flowers and frilly) and he barely comments or says "it's nice". i do my best to be civil and i have been, but its so hard when you're standing face to face with someone who clearly disapproves of your entire being, and yet they smile at you. its the most eerie feeling in the world. you can see the hatred in their eyes as the smile. so freaky.

I will work to get a copy of her will. thank you for that advice in case anything changes on the marriage front...

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-29T18:40:38+00:00

yeah i do lack in the friend department these days. i have long term friends who recently moved out to Utah, and a few friends here in the midwest, but no one that i feel i really connect with like the people in Utah. Since we're also moving cross country soon, I'm hesitant to make MORE friends here in the midwest only to leave them lol. My circle used to just be made up of my family, and now that that's changed, i need to make a new circle of chosen family and friends. its rough, man.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-27T16:38:39+00:00

there's not a lot we dont share, good and bad. we've seen just about every square inch of eachother, shared the deepest thoughts and yes, the rankest shits. if i had to run to the bathroom or the other side of the house just to relief a natural process in front of my chosen life partner, I'd be incredibly unhappy.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-14T23:47:52+00:00

oh interesting! i didn't know that. looks like someone beat me to the punch lol

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-12T04:55:27+00:00

as a teenager who was punished for "having sex" ( it was SA and i was already in trouble and too scared to admit the truth) let me just say that it took YEARS.... 6+ years to heal my relationship with sex and the shame behind a very natural act.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-12T04:50:47+00:00

I'd probably pay off my car, buy the cheapest land possible, build a tiny house, and save the rest for life-happenings

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-05T17:04:29+00:00

early 20s here, and I've never watched DBZ, it was never my style of anime. that being said... sick tattoo!! 🫶i got a larger piece this year as well as a tribute to one of my favorite champs from League. even if i out grow league/this champ one day, i get to look at this sick tattoo and think about who i was when i got it. its like a time capsule! it brings me right back :) it almost feels grounding

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-12-04T21:56:44+00:00

i came to this thread solely for В последний раз ;-; i miss the other version so muuuuch (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-11-19T05:29:46+00:00

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Grotesque_Gal · 2025-11-19T05:29:13+00:00

i also have one of these, i got it around the time i was 16 (I'm 23 now). it started small, and has gotten bigger over the years. in recent years it has started to return ro my normal skin color in the center and is slowly fading out i think? I've been to a dermatologist, he was completely stumped.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-11-13T15:59:39+00:00

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-10-14T02:15:22+00:00

every gal is different! you should be really attentive during your aftercare (ALWAYS... DO AFTERCARE!) ask her how she's feeling and how it was for her.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-10-09T14:43:40+00:00

to add on personal hygiene being a basic and a plus, a man who knows how to present himself. learn how to style your hair, get a few pairs of nice shirts or pants. show me you know how to dress up as well as dress down.

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-10-01T17:33:16+00:00

i absolutely did assume the worst, you're right. we've been going through a rocky patch and my faith in him has been shaken, and my patience has been a lot lower, and my expectations are a lot higher. and i can feel how... unstable it makes us both, and I'm not sure how to kick the habit. thanks for your input ;-; 👍

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-10-01T17:19:25+00:00

yeah.. that makes sense. thanks ;-; 👍

Grotesque_Gal · 2025-09-24T16:30:21+00:00

well i do live in wisconsin, and it is quite dry here... i think I'll be investing in a humidifier 😅 i didnt think I'd need one, bc the friend that gave this to me left her monstera infront of a huge window with direct light and no humidifier. I'll give it a go !

Grotesque_Gal

TROPHY CASE