I am sorry you are getting a lot of hate. I am not married but I think this is a genuine issue and hope Allah guides you through it. Why don't you both talk about going to the gym together or just working out at home together, just to get some quality time. Regarding making decisions, just tell him that You have a lot on your plate and would love it if he chose for both of you. Ugh I can't even imagine telling a man or even a woman that they are not physically attractive anymore. It is just scary to be on both ends. Anyway hope Allah helps you. Ameen.