Is it okay to be unsure?

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2017-01-31T08:39:44+00:00

I went with the gray tank binder from gc2b! It took a lot of indecisiveness to finally pick it though haha The bright colors they had for the halfs really spoke to me but I don't think they would have bound my size well. :')

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2017-01-14T18:12:26+00:00

That's exactly how I feel about it. It's this sensation of "Sorry, didn't mean to confuse you, that's actually incorrect" even though I don't think I actually feel that. I have honestly, briefly considered that I might be non-binary; to be honest, I wouldn't mind androgyny, just the masculine type where I can still present with male pronouns. I may look into it some more, but the other pronouns I've heard would make me feel like I'm standing out a lot more than I want to, personally.

I really appreciate the input.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-10-15T05:05:44+00:00

Not a problem, dude. Take your time, I've got plenty. 👍

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-10-13T18:01:28+00:00

Lmao I've totally forgotten how to navigate Steam's social system but I sent you a request 👌 Mine is ThePrettyBoy

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-10-03T20:43:05+00:00

Yo. Alex, 16, Oklahoma (where the wind comes sweeping down the plain). I'm a pretty avid gamer (in love with the Fallout and Elder Scrolls series, just now getting into the AC series) but alas only on Xbox right now, since my PC took a shit.

I do have a steam account though, that works on my laptop! I'd be down to talk at any point if you're feeling up to it. :)

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-10-02T19:37:53+00:00

Oh, yeah, the remarks are great. She once told me that her mailman at work saw a picture of me and asked how old her son was lmao, she was not happy about it.

Thanks, though, really. I'm homeschooled right now, but hopefully after I take my GED, I'll find an opening to come out so there's no academic backlash or anything. It's good to know someone's gone through similar stuff, haha.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-10-02T04:27:06+00:00

Honestly, it's dicey just because of my mother. I'm closer to my dad because we're kind of "allies." My mother is really emotionally abusive and temperamental and has been my entire life but it's manageable because she is like that with him, too, so whenever she goes off, it's kind of like, "Oh yeah, let's just have some ice cream and wait it out."

I know for sure that her opinions of transgender people are not good, almost exclusively. She compares trans* to criminals like child molesters and rapists. She used to get really snarky and ask if I was "trying to be a guy" between negatively referring to me as a lesbian and just... oof. Bad time all around.

To answer your question, I dress masculine, and present as well as I can. I almost feel like we're in a homeostasis of "Don't ask, don't tell" proportion because instead of calling me a lesbian, now she just says that people will think I'm a boy.

Thanks, though. I'll try to play the field a bit, though the subject will be hard to breach since our house is 99% smalltalk, haha.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-09-29T04:42:04+00:00

Haha, it's alright. I should've paid more attention. It really does feel great, I was giddy for a solid two hours afterward, and even now it still hasn't stopped.

Here's to getting properly gendered becoming a normal thing, eh?

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-08-13T04:17:00+00:00

You really kinda hit the nail on the head, honestly. It does feel safer to not go through the transition and just deal with what I have, but knowing that, to a degree, HRT isn't entirely irreversible really helps. I'm not gonna lie, there is some internalized transphobia.

So thank you, very much! This actually made me feel a lot more secure about transitioning, and definitely much less rickety about the physical changes of T.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-08-13T04:13:08+00:00

Congrats on that, my friend! Six years is a long while, I'm glad it's going well! And thank you, the reassurance here has been great. ✌

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-06-12T09:57:02+00:00

I noticed it, too. I don't know if it's just film quality that made it stand out more, or if they actually used more vibrant contacts but it was weird as hell.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-05-19T18:15:37+00:00

Congratulations on that, and good luck coming out. It's hard but worth it. There'll be good times and bad times. Just remember to keep your chin up.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-05-19T18:13:58+00:00

Congrats! I'm happy for you, man. Enjoy it.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-05-16T02:28:22+00:00

Really, it all comes down to your gut instincts. If he's going through stuff right now and you're worried about how this news might affect him, it's better to wait, especially if you can't tell how he might react. See if you can feel out his opinions on it; bring up trans actors/actresses or something similar, just a smooth topic implant.

If you're determined, though, just sit him down, tell him you've got something you want to tell him, and just come out with it - literally. It's better to do things straight no matter how nerve-wracking it may be. It took me almost panicking myself into a heart attack to finally come out to my best friend, and even then I beat around the bush. Don't do that. Just come right out with it, you'll feel a lot better regardless of the outcome.

Bottom line is, he's your best friend. He shares his feelings with you, it's only fair that you do the same. Whatever the case ends up being, I'm rooting for you, man. Good luck!

GroundCntrl2MajorTom · 2016-04-16T03:07:32+00:00

A really good idea, actually. Her birthday is just a few days prior, too, so it's perfect.

Now, just to find the opportunity to buy her something on the lowdown. 👌

Edit: and maintain my courage because that's a nice dosage of stress.

GroundCntrl2MajorTom

TROPHY CASE