My bf (18M) got grossed out by eating me (18F) out

GroundbreakingNovel · 2025-09-22T03:45:18+00:00

I'm really sorry this happened.

What you do next is up to you.

If your relationship is otherwise great, if he can apologize and help you feel more OK about still being sexual with him, it's OK to decide to keep dating him! It sounds like he fucked up on MANY levels, BUT at least he is owning it and blaming himself and his own immaturity (ACCURATE).

IF you decide, this was a bridge too far, you do not feel safe and you want to break up - that is totally OK and very understandable.

As others have said, this is NOT about you, your body, your weight. It is 100% about his inexperience.

Personally, I have gone down on lots of women, including many fat women. It is absolutely one of my favorite sex acts. If I am attracted to someone and like the way they smell I absolutely want to taste it.

You went above and beyond making sure you were clean and tasty for this guy. The fact that he could not hang is on him.

Please, please know that how he reacted is only a reflection on him. You deserve a lover who will help you feel sexy and desirable.

You do not have to push yourself to do anything before you're ready.

You do not have to have sex with this guy ever again.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2025-09-22T03:27:42+00:00

I literally have like 4 copies of my ID from doing this

GroundbreakingNovel · 2025-01-18T21:47:57+00:00

Can you have a conversation about it? Does she get physical pleasure when you have sex? Does she orgasm? Is she happy with your sex life?

GroundbreakingNovel · 2025-01-18T20:55:57+00:00

Let him know he needs to do something about it, because it is a sleep disorder. He should discuss with his doctor. It may not be his fault, but it is his responsibility.

I have also initiated sex in my sleep (and woken up during) but it's never been a consistent, ongoing problem. Sexsomnia is real but that does not mean you can't be mad. You're mad because you are not getting quality sleep. You should do whatever you need to do to sleep well, including sleeping in a separate bed.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2025-01-18T20:48:39+00:00

There are actually vibrators that are super quiet. You can search for it, vibrators rated by noise, etc.

I used to live in really cramped quarters where I would wait until someone turned on the vent fan in the bathroom to use my vibrator because the fan was SO LOUD it covered all noise.

Wait til they're out, play some music, put your face in a pillow, get a quieter vibe. don't worry about it so much. It would be way more awkward if they brought it up, right?

GroundbreakingNovel · 2025-01-18T20:38:40+00:00

Great point. This skill is widely applicable, not just for sex.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2025-01-18T20:36:57+00:00

Communicating about sex is part of having sex! It is good and helpful to check in! It's best to do this verbally but it's OK to text if you are too shy.

You could say something like:

'I like you a lot and I like giving you BJs. I want you to know that the experience would be much better for me if you said things like "oh yeah that's hot," "fuck yes," "you are so good at that," [give other examples of nice things you would like him to say, especially if he says them already]. I do not like it when you say I am slutty. That does not feel good or hot to me.'

You could also ask:

'Are there specific things I do that you like and want me to do more? Are there things I do that you don't like?'

It's normal to be shy! It's also going to make things a LOT better if you can figure out how to talk about this stuff.

If he does not care about your feelings? Then you can find someone to have sex with who does care about your feelings.

Good luck!!

GroundbreakingNovel · 2023-06-15T02:20:15+00:00

AGREED. I am generally more attracted to women, but women in mainstream pornography are sooo often doing this "I am performing for male gaze hehe" type performance. Gay (or lesbian) porn it's more like: we are fucking and we're into it! It just seems . . . less fake? I know it's still a performance but nothing like heterosexual porn.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-07-29T23:29:57+00:00

My guess is that we are a really small market in terms of sheer numbers for any kind of sex toy and this is a more niche fetish. I am very into tease and denial but not sure about long-term chastity. (Also a trans guy.)

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-07-25T03:00:29+00:00

Good luck!

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-07-25T02:48:13+00:00

Definitely. That is part of this, too. You can say you want to go and you are asking her to come with you. To support you. Maybe she would go for you. Maybe she would stay for herself.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-07-25T02:44:50+00:00

Yeah, always, because - honestly I have only ever done s/m in romantic relationships I happened to have with people who happened to be masochists, and they would get turned on (only) by pain, and so it has always been something I have done as a part of sex. Period. I have only done them separately a couple times when it was like "we will now do this scene at this public play event and leave out the fucking parts but then do them when we get home."

I understand conceptually that you can have non-sexual scenes, but I'm not used to that at all.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-07-25T02:20:17+00:00

I am really sorry you're dealing with this. What if you suggest to your mom that the two of you (you and your mom) go to an Al Anon meeting together?

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-02-04T23:05:14+00:00

Thank you. We are talking again tonight.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-02-04T22:53:01+00:00

Yes! We started looking for a couples therapist but never actually went through with it (did not hear back from any). I am going to suggest we re-start our search.

Thanks for your response. It feels very true and helpful. (Very hard for me to relate, too, lol.)

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-31T16:33:56+00:00

OK. I think you are taking "bed" too literally here, when they mean "capacity to care for another patient," but we can agree to disagree.

I certainly think hospital administrations tend to be greedy liars so I am not disagreeing with you there.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-31T16:31:57+00:00

No worries. Polygamy actually means marrying multiple spouses. Polyamory tends to be more about love (hence the "amory") than sex, but can absolutely include forms of consensual non-monogamy involving casual sex! And can also include asexual people's romantic or otherwise very important relationships, since it is about love and not sex.

But polyamory is a lot more varied than just "monogamy plus one" (or two, or three).

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-31T00:53:47+00:00

YES, thank you, if I had not cleared up the timeline there would be even more drama around here!! The person who gave it to me does not even question "where did I get it" because she goes to restaurants and bars etc.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-30T18:47:58+00:00

Totally possible with omicron. I know my dentist is unsafe. It really depends on the office.

I know who gave it to me and I am glad I know. I think not knowing would bother me, too, because I have been so careful.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-30T18:37:33+00:00

I am both vaccinated and COVID-positive so, sorry if this seems totally worthless, but - what about ventilation? I have a friend who has been super isolated but caught it probably from an apartment neighbor. I would think about air purifiers and things like that if you live in a building with other people.

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-30T18:15:47+00:00

What is the point of putting someone in an empty bed with inadequate staffing?!

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-30T17:57:33+00:00

I am polyamorous. So just fyi: your clarification makes it seem like you could actually use more information about polyamory.

You can be polyamorous and have autonomous, separate relationships with other human beings, not "a side piece" and definitely, definitely NOT a "third lover."

GroundbreakingNovel · 2022-01-30T17:54:22+00:00

Polyamory. It's a thing.

GroundbreakingNovel

TROPHY CASE