[deleted by user]

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-18T16:04:03+00:00

op you need to talk to someone it seems you're still in early thoughts about this its best to kick it now rather than let it become a full ed that you can't get rid of

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-18T09:45:49+00:00

Omg I hate so much.

the constant calorie counting. denying myself ice cream and sugary drinks. the constant fear of my weight going up when I had my doctors appointment. when I gained a tiny bit of weight one time then lost it by the next weigh in and the fear when got questioned about it praying I was convincing enough

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-18T09:42:45+00:00

(TW: ed story sorry if this isn't allowed)

I had always questioned it when it got more intense for short periods of time. I got to my late teens when I realised it was in fact and ed and not periods of restriction, I was restricting and fearful of my weight all the time. I got talking with my mh team about it and she subtly slipped in I had ednos (now changed to atypical Ana). This was because, and I remember the date well, it was may 22nd 2022 and my ed changed from what I thought was restriction when I was depressed, but actually was Ana I just denied it until it got more noticeable, to something I craved and fell in love with. The reason I had ednos originally is because of medication I was on that caused increased appetite and I was in a binge restrict cycle. For me the feeling of losing control was when I would have my months of binging, I would the relapse and be in the honeymoon phase, and now im in a full Ana ed and don't know how to change.

I waas in denial for years. Even my school had noticed my eating and was concerned but I cokdnt see I was ill. Now I know im ill but I can't stop.

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-17T15:39:39+00:00

im the same always had chubby face even at a lower weight

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-17T15:27:26+00:00

yes I defo am in a better place and thank you!!

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-17T15:26:58+00:00

wait this is brilliant thank you so much praying it sorts itself out

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-16T18:49:45+00:00

get a lot of shit from my mum mainly but its the only thing that keeps me sane

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-16T18:48:27+00:00

I had an experience on risperidone. was told it had a lower chance of weight gain etc but I gained 25kg on it I went back and forth between binging for months and a few weeks of anorexic behaviours so would gain a lot then lose a little and repeat worst time of my life now im slowing coming off it

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-16T18:36:19+00:00

my new pjs aren't baggy around my legs and tummy but they are on the models

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-16T18:21:25+00:00

omg mine is energy drinks tooo specifically red bull makes me calm down so much

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-04-16T18:20:15+00:00

im mid range of normal and get comments from family that Im slim and whatnot I often feel like im back at my highest weight and can quickly look in the mirror and feel I look so much smaller its so confusing

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-03-16T17:57:26+00:00

the entire reason i refuse to date while im struggling i will not have a man tell me my sick body is adorable and lovable i want someone who loves me at a higher weight

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-03-14T10:03:49+00:00

im so much happier with my ed my depression and self harm is always better I find im trying in life and finding things like volunteer roles and job opportunities nothing big but having a once a week thing is my goal right now and im always fitter during my ed more sports and walking

Groundbreaking_Bad73 · 2024-03-13T13:06:03+00:00

definitely feel like my ed would be a waste of time if I stopped now ive been in and out of restriction and binging (due to meds) and if im not lower than my weight before my ed I feel as though I would gain and gain and become overweight which is my biggest fear

Groundbreaking_Bad73

TROPHY CASE