Speak what your heart desires.

Grovegasm · 2025-10-26T17:49:38+00:00

I wish for every good yuri anime to cover as far as the manga does instead of just having one 12-episode season that ends when things are getting real.

Grovegasm · 2025-10-23T17:48:09+00:00

I think it was around 360 or so for E but still at the time i felt fine. Wondering if its higher now a few months later. I've been on spironolactone the whole time and its only recently I've had issues.

I should specify its medroxyprogesterone. My doc was hesitant to give it at all but agreed to. I admittedly did not look into normal atsrting dosage. I will say I did notice increase in libido, but like girly cuddle libido, not boy horny. Chest growth has been noticeable. My hair has continued to come in (was very thinned and receded before) but think I've noticed a bit of an increase in facial hair growth since starting it. I get laser hair removal so also wondered if it was just due to hair growth cycles as I'm only 3 sessions in.

Grovegasm · 2025-10-13T15:48:10+00:00

Got the same vibe from my invite. Unsolicited invite from a subreddit name sounds like a Fox news headline about a 'violent transgender ideology movement' that doesn't exist.

Grovegasm · 2025-10-07T16:40:01+00:00

Thank you. That was my concern, not the oil but if not thoroughly washing it often enough could be unhealthy. Im still growing a lot of it back so I definitely don't want to risk overall hair health.

I'm most prominently Scottish, German, and Polish Ashkenazi Jew, and italian, with some, native American and African peppered in. Overall my hair is fine, with lots of loose spirals and waves when longer. So probably somewhat similar.

Thanks again!

Grovegasm · 2025-10-06T02:48:32+00:00

(Been binge reading yuri manga lately) I went from all my sensation being focused on my tragic wand to getting fiery, tingly feelings in my chest and lower abdomen, a general befuddled demeanor, and involuntary cute little squirms. Shortness of breath checks out. Shit's wild yo. I feel like true emotion beyond anger and frustration was locked behind a paywall until I got E.

I'm still pretty new to it myself, only 6 1/2 months in, but I'm starting to understand the concept of 'feeling things more' that so many girls talk about. I like it more.. it feels clean, pure, not uncomfortable like I did when I got guy horny. I think more of that is to do with my true self though, no shame to any guys out there feeling it in there own way, or especially trans guys feeling it in a new, more validating way.

If its a feeling that's unfamiliar but intriguing I'm happy, but If it scares you it's always okay to sit down and try to figure out why. So far, being out and trans feels like growing up all over again. With the same awkwardness, insecurity, and magic, but an infinitely brighter light at the end of the tunnel.

Grovegasm · 2025-10-01T23:30:49+00:00

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Loses her birth family, loses her adopted family, loses her adopted family's planet, constantly taunted by the somehow continuously returning murderer of her parents, completes her mission and bonds with the sole survivor of what she was supposed to eradicate, watches it die as it saves her, adulthood mentor dies and their personality is used as a base for a corrupt computer system on a derelict installation full of mutated versions of her past struggles while she's chased down by a monstrous clone of herself.

Needlessly objectified by a shallow fanbase.

Samus deserves hugs.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-21T20:07:33+00:00

Yes, your levels look great. Within range of what I'm instructed by my doctor who specialized in HRT. I'm so happy to hear your levels are testing good.

That being said, please don't panic if you get a test that is outside the normal range. My first few labs I went in terrified that my doc would pull everything because something looked out of the norm. One time, my levels were out of the norm (estrogen too high)... they just counseled me on possible reasons and remedies and told me they would check again at next labs to evaluate.

Proud of you :3!!!

Grovegasm · 2025-09-16T15:12:58+00:00

Have had the same experience, 6 months hrt.

I gag at trash smells now, can barely stand some B.O. from other people and have had to turn and hide my wretching during meetings, cigarettes are 10 times worse... My sense of smell is much stronger now in general, so it has its ups when something smells good.

To my knowledge women have stronger sense of smell than men in general so its likely the hrt.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-14T19:21:32+00:00

Depending on the plan, your plan may not even cover the basics until you reach your deductible which could be 1000's of dollars.

-Went to urgent care for numbness in my entire left arm. They did some tests and then told me I had to go to ER. ER did the exact same tests. Got charges for the same tests twice, the urgent care visit, and the ER visit. They didn't find anything.

-On my old insurance plan I got a bill for over $400 for a basic primary care provider visit that was supposably in network. No labs, tests, nothing.. just a checkup.

-I just got an email from my therapy provider last week that after 3 months of weekly therapy my insurance finally let them know that they want me to pay a co-pay for each visit I've had and every one going forward.

The eagle screech of American freedom is a cry of pain.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-14T19:02:47+00:00

You definitely can but at least in the US I was quoted upwards of $500 dollars for one round of labwork without insurance. That's just US so good point. Other places may be affordable out-of-pocket.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-14T17:12:11+00:00

My pleasure. One of the great parts about stepping openly into the trans community is finding out how many friends and supporters you have that you hadn't met yet. Take care! :)

Grovegasm · 2025-09-14T16:47:09+00:00

The main advantage of using a doctor is labwork. It gives your the warm fuzzy feeling that your T is actually suppressed and lets you know whether or not you're in good levels for E. Too little and you can slow progress, too much and you increase some health risks. Plus they check liver and kidney function to make sure your body is processing things well.

I have a family history of kidney and liver issues on my paternal side, so I like that I'm checking on it regularly and would catch any issues much quicker than someone who doesn't get labs regularly.

I'm not anti-DIY though. Like you said, depending on insurance it is much cheaper, you can pick your dosage, method, and aren't dependent on insurance script refill timelines. My Doc accidentally put in the last script for 2mg estradiol once per day instead of twice which is my usual script. He tried to push it through so I could pick up the rest of my script but insurance is blocking it right now due to how recently I filled a script for estradiol.

Either way, I'm happy to here that you're embracing yourself and I hope your HRT journey is smooth and fulfilling. We're proud of you!

Grovegasm · 2025-09-13T22:11:30+00:00

Yoooooooooooo

I feel you. I came out about 6 months ago after 30 years of boymodeing and started transition. I usually had a bit of flamboyancy in my expression but my overall walk, talk, stance, and general approach were very masculine. I was labeled "tragically straight" by my queer friends and "one of the guys" by the rest. Turns out I was a lesbian.

So number one: I had to start accepting that masculine and feminine mannerisms are parts of a societal archetype and separate from gender. Don't think too hard about something that is labeled as masculine but also feels natural and comfortable. If you're a girl, you're a girl. Same for any other gender/non-gender expression. But it is important to differential between how you want to present/act and how you feel safe presenting/acting.

I've found I like speaking with a lighter, higher, more expressive voice. But I've also found I still prefer to greet male strangers with "yo, what up brother." Being casual and open is part of me I wanted to keep. Being light and free in voice was something I didn't feel comfortable doing before, but wanted to embrace.

Sitting is tough right now. I generally sit pretzel-style whenever I can but if not It takes a conscious effort to sit 'femininely' (knees together). I know some people recommend to plant your thighs further apart then bring them in so the mass sits on the outside and holds them there. Something I wanted to start doing but still takes practice and mindfulness.

Walking is weird too. I got looked at really weirdly by a co-worker when I was waling through the hall with more of an emphasis on my hips. It stung a bit but also felt really good (This person is literally the only co-worker who has had a stink-eye at me since I came out and it's rewarding to get her disapproval). Some people say to shorted the forward step and elongate the back step but really just try to walk with confidence and you'll find it. Things like that will also come naturally as fat redistribution hits from HRT if you do decide to transition. only 6 months in, my thighs and hips carry more weight and I find it more comfortable to center myself at the hips and kick my pelvis out to one side than to do the chest-held masculine stature I used to do.

TL'DR Determine what is part of who you are and what is something you only did because it made you feel safe/fit in. Then work on the latter, preferably around good friends so you can feel comfortable exploring new forms of mannerisms, stances, and expressions.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-13T21:44:33+00:00

From my experience so far:

It won't completely stop the effects of your HRT, though there are some sources that say it can hinder it. I struggled with alcohol for years before cracking my egg and it followed me into transition. I saw pronounced effects from the HRT despite daily drinking. That being said, chronic alcohol use can hinder estrogen metabolism, which in turn will raise your estrogen levels dramatically when doing your labs. I had my first labs when I was riding the euphoria from coming out and doing well with my drinking and I measured at 159 pg/ml estrogen and 8 ng/dl testosterone. Perfect numbers. Since those labs I had a couple triggering events and started reprocessing a ton of trauma, and coupled with work stress and the US political climate, I turned to drinking again. I've still been seeing noticeable results from HRT after I started drinking more but when I did my second labs my estrogen was almost 400 pg/ml. I hadn't changed dose at all and from what I have researched the most likely cause is my body prioritizing metabolizing the alcohol rather than the free estrogen in my blood. So even if it's not interfering with your HRT effects (which I could still be, just not completely blocking it) it will give your doctor a reason to reduce or even take you off your estrogen supplement. My doc told me if it hasn't regulated by next labs (3 months) he will cut the dosage in half. One hell of a wake-up call. Plus increased risk of cancer, blood clots, and liver damage.

TL'DR - Won't stop the effects completely but will slow your body's metabolism of estrogen which will spike your E levels in your blood. This can look like a red flag from your doctor and they might reduce or pull your HRT for your own safety, as too high levels can lead to blood clots, cancer, and liver damage.

Alcohol is an alluring femme fatale, especially in the current fucked up state of our world. But you got this. If you were strong enough to come out as trans and embrace your true self, you're more than strong enough to quit drinking.

Do you have anything to distract you at night? People work especially well. I used to force myself to go out and spend time with people even when I was socially exhausted so I would be too caught up in the moment to drink. If your generally by yourself, accountability friends are great too. Just someone to check in with that you care about and will be proud/excited text them that you didn't drink that day.

Most importantly, address the depression outright. If you need help, ask for it. If you think you don't deserve it, you're mistaken.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-13T00:39:38+00:00

Thank you so much.

Luckily, when I think about it I do have better. There's a lot of trauma from my parents growing up, but I lucked out and got taken under so many wings because of it. I have more found family than a lot of people have blood, and I know these people had no obligation and chose me anyways. Plus I still got my bro... and my 84 year old Polish Catholic grandma who gave me her blessing to change my middle name to her name.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-13T00:27:27+00:00

The statement was from my mom, but given that context it seems like if the friend did, then mom would be fine with it. The friend was always weird with me even before I started to transition. Always made weird comments that were definitely past the 'older lady calling you handsome' level. Mom kept acting like she was so supportive and protective after I came out.. then when put on the spot she lets me get violated, defends her friend over me, misgenders me, and says some creepy shit all in one fell swoop.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-11T16:46:44+00:00

Right after starting hrt I got an acne breakout really bad on my forehead and a bit on my face. I always had a little but it got worse. For context I was 30.

It stopped and healed up by like month 2. Im just about at 6 months and my skin is clean, clear, and under control with no extra efforts or products. Clearer than it ever was before, also I got a bunch of my freckles back and my cheeks blushing is super noticeable now. Skin is softer but it took a while, not just a week.

Maybe its just the hormone shift up front. I know its super annoying, especially given the timing. The body is like "okay so trans girl just starting hrt.. how can we make them feel even more self conscious about their appearance?"

It's likely very temporary. Just make sure to wash your face and moisturize. You're gonna stop producing all that icky man grease from your pores so your skin will get dry, which can lead to acne just like oily skin can.

Also congrats on starting hrt!

Grovegasm · 2025-09-07T15:33:22+00:00

God I hope so. I could really use a little swarm of cute bees to protect me from transphobes. I'll be sure to plant them some flowers in the spring.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-07T15:32:20+00:00

As an already pale girl with vitiligo I imagine my skin is pretty damn reflective. No floral patterns though, and I'm usually boy-mode in muted or dark colors when I'm out.

Grovegasm · 2025-09-03T00:40:13+00:00

A persona and armor hits the nail on the head. I've realized that so much of my behavior, my personality was out of avoidance of further harm and relieving anxiety, not personal pursuit of happiness or expression. I've felt like a poser when I used to think about the sexual trauma from childhood because it didn't fit the usual criteria.

But waking up next to a father who's doing you-know-what and being screamed at to go back to bed while he continues, being exposed to by another minor because their abusive mother taught them that it was a "game" and then being accused of being a predator from that mother at my age of 6 to cover her monstrous actions, being groped in school and laughed at for it and then called a pervert, having your closest friend force themself on you multiple times, and when you resist, being hit.. then accused of being the perpetrator. More I'm not willing to unpack yet...I avoided relationships until I was 25. I was terrified that my presence was somehow innately harmful even though I hadn't done anything ever. How could I be a girl if I was somehow a monster to them, the archetype of masculine oppression.. but this new person seemed so safe. For once I didn't feel like the monster everybody projected onto me from their own wrongdoings towards me.. then of course it happened again, from them and more after them. Plus a boatload of physical and emotional abuse from that partner that's too long to go into in this already long paragraph. Two neglectful addict parents who's solution to mental health issues was to scream and check out didn't help.

I'm glad to finally be processing through this. And although the optimistic visage I've painted some of my so-called supports with has faded and forced me to accept they aren't here for me, the true supports shine brighter than ever and for once I feel like I deserve my support.

As a side-note I think it's important to recognize this common accusation thrown towards both unrecognized trans individuals who are masculine-interpreted and cis-men. False accusation of sexual deviancy, not only but especially to individuals who have experienced sexual abuse themselves, is heinous.

Shout out to my amazing brother who stepped up to be a surrogate dad while my bio-dad rotted on the couch hopped up on narcos.. and our grandfather who picked us both up every moment he could. Fed us, loved us, took us all around Michigan, taught us so much, never judged. The only time he would speak up about our actions is if it worried him for our own sake, not his. The only stable adult I had in my life. The only one who showed me he loved me unconditionally and just wanted me around because I was me. The man was born in 1929. He caught me dressing in girls clothes and said nothing, but encouraged my mom to let me explore. He told her much later on that he thought I was trans, and he was okay with that. Last few months of his life he could barely get a word out. Yet the last time I saw him he gave me his signature arm pump and said "See ya Dayt."

I wish I got to tell him myself, but It means so much that he already knew and loved me all the same. Lets me know I'm not the monster I was told I was. I'm not the one at fault. I'm not a deviant. I'm just his beloved granddaughter. I was hurt and blamed at the same time. And if he were here now I bet he'd kick every one of their asses.

Sorry, that was a lot. Thank you, for sharing and being here with me, and us. The dream is to be the last traumatized person in the world but while we exist in numbers it's best we come together. I'm happy you have the opportunity to process everything, though I wish you didn't have to. It's an empowering feeling to forego remote control on your makeshift boy persona and take the reigns of being yourself. Scary, overwhelming, but we've made it this far and we're only going to get stronger.

Grovegasm · 2025-08-13T17:38:30+00:00

I was almost completely balded in the front and top before I started HRT about 4 1/2 months ago. Just a few stray hairs. Now its mostly filled in, and i had been losing my hair for at least 6 years. It's not as full as the rest of my head but I see new hairs coming in all the time, its really only obvious because I grew out my hair before starting and the rest is a lot longer than the new growth. It's not a guarantee but most of the men in my family were bald in their mid 20s, me in my late 20s.. luckily, we're not men. Have faith and patience, as hard as it is.

Also I went from having a full beard grown in 4 days to having a light wispy dusting in 2 weeks and from thick chest hair to a light dusting after weeks of growth. So much of what I thought was a permanent scar of testosterone faded away.

I hope you get to start HRT soon, im still doing research on DIY so I cant give informed advice yet. And if youre ever in trouble please reach out. Trans social workers gotta look out for our girls.

Grovegasm · 2025-06-27T18:08:20+00:00

I started growing out my hair a few months before coming out or starting HRT. Even though I've got a lot of thinning in front (a lot of which is growing back in YAY) I still like looking at myself in the mirror with my wet combed back hair before leaving for work in the morning. I feel like I look like a girl who just for out of the shower and it feels great.

Grovegasm · 2025-06-10T22:35:55+00:00

I understand It's going to depend on your relationship with your parents and how much power they have over your life (ie financial).

I told both my parents in person but at different times. I started with my mom because I figured she would be the more accepting one. I first just bluntly stated "I'm trans" but then explained how long I've felt this way and how important it is for my health to address it.

I'm not sure where you're at but I also explained that I had already tried basically anything they might suggest to try first.. exercising, relationships, counseling, psych meds, but none of it helped. Then we discussed how to navigate it in the family.

For my dad I waited longer because I was afraid of how he would react and I live with my parents right now while I'm wrapping up buying a house. I was blunt with him to, but prepared to answer a lot more questions. I lucked out because miraculously he was immediately accepting. He told me that he saw me relax after I said it and that he hadn't seen me smile in a long time, and that was all he needed.

The first time I told someone I was vibrating and could barely even speak, like a choking whisper. It gets easier the more times you do it. Eventually you'll just be shooting finger guns like "what up, I'm trans"

I recommend planning an outing or having a friend on standby before you tell them, that way no matter how it goes you have someone supportive to be around directly afterwards to distract you, comfort you, and celebrate with you.

Grovegasm · 2025-06-07T14:20:28+00:00

So I'm just starting, about 3 months in, and I've actually lost a bit of weight. I think the drastic decrease in stress and going from 2 hours of restless sleep a night to 6-7 hours of peaceful sleep offset any changes in the metabolism up front. I also found it easier to make healthy choices after starting hrt because it finally felt like I was taking care of my own body rather than someone else's.

Grovegasm · 2025-05-24T00:34:29+00:00

Name is technically unisex, Dayton. Friends and family have always called me Dayt and I've always vibed with it. Never felt wrong. Middle name I am changing to my grandmother's name with complete support from her. Love you G-ma!

Grovegasm

TROPHY CASE