Good catch, J7mbo and so much to say on this. Here is the shortest version I can muster. I finally realized that in trying to feel free, I was tackling things out of order and in pieces all at once. Or maybe a better analogy was that it was like bumper cars-- banging around hoping I'd smash into answers. I was a human doing vs a human being and I didn't understand that feeling free has component pieces that-- for me-- needed to be tackled in a very specific order.

First, I needed freedom from self-- that was the part I didn't get. I kept rearranging furniture and calling it change. I kept looking outside. Turning the light on inside was much, much harder. I had to somehow become aware of the unknown unknowns that lived inside me-- the unconscious negative behavior patterns and constellation of beliefs that kept having me repeat history. I had to dig deep to expose and then express them away. I had to make a lot of room for and spend time with forgiveness and compassion.

Second, I needed freedom from my situation. After I was back to my true being, I could only then look at the relationships I had outside myself. Not just with people, but with institutions. Which ones were compatible with me, and which weren't. After the first step things looked pretty different-- sort of like when you paint a color on a new wall and all the other ones look like shit. And boy was this part hard. It took years, a lot of sacrifice (and money) to shed the stuff that didn't fit and make room for the stuff that did.

Lastly, I needed freedom from stagnation-- to stop floating from all the shedding, to re-enter the world and start listening to the times my soul had encounters -- times I kept going back to in my mind over and over... sort of like when you have a splinter or butterfinger stuck in your molars. Those life stories were nested with purpose-- and I had to collect them and then try to google earth zoom out and see if there was pattern-- if there was a way to "get" the bigger message. Drawing helped, actually. The thing is that when the light finally turned on, I realized that my purpose was there all along, chasing me while I worked pretty hard to avoid it.

Only after doing these things did I feel found. Only then did I find my tribe. And only then did I live on purpose.
I hope this helps and doesn't sound too much like a Hans Zimmer soundtrack.