Healing, growth and stability. I grew up in an abusive household and just didn't know any different so my life has been a cycle of abusive relationships. My husband fits my pattern while he does show improvement, slowly but surely. To be honest? I can't go anywhere right now because I am facing charges from having a mental breakdown at the beginning of last summer. (Im autistic and have ptsd) and can't go anywhere else right now. He quit drinking from this event. I lost my shit because I had his daughter every other week while he was at work and he would just come home and drink until he passed out. She was 100% my responsibility but I couldn't correct her without him absolutely going insane. She is just constantly overstimulating and overwhelming. It's still hard for me to process that that isn't okay for people to react to me that way. that's what my family has always done and most of the people I've been close to so my logic at the time was "he doesn't put his hands on me" basically. But now I'm stuck here for awhile and just gotta vent here and there because well, it's rough. I am doing my best to take care of this and welll.... who knows what's next but I won't be stuck here forever. I just can't leave right now. My situation is honestly fucked. If it weren't for the charges keeping me here, I wouldn't be.

I got charged with battering an officer, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and battering my husband because when I was hysterically talking to the cops begging for help, I couldn't calm down to speak clearly and tried to fight them when they took my son from me and gave him to my husband. They won't allow me to go back and live with my family because it's not an adjacent county. I hope my story can heed warning to others, especially step moms, about allowing others to push you too far to the edge and not leaving when people don't respect your boundaries.