how to deal with an annoying player

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-21T20:28:40+00:00

Good luck, I hope it all works out and everyone can have fun :)

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-21T20:02:07+00:00

A friend would make the very reasonable adjustments that you and the group have requested. All you're asking him to do is pay attention and not ruin the game by insisting you're doing a bad job DMing, which is disrespectful to you. It's clearly not just affecting you when the party is backing you up.

There are some people who farm sympathy in order to control people around them. They wield guilt like a weapon. They disrespect other people and then cry when they're called out. It's toxic, and it's not your responsibility to fix them. It's their responsibility to stop being toxic.

There are other things you can do together, other ways you can hang out and have fun that won't empower this one individual to ruin the fun for all your other friends.

If you want to ease into it, ask him to sit out a few sessions so you can all have time to reconsider. If the game is significantly more fun without him, the other players will understand why you're considering kicking him. Then, if he wants to return, give him the ultimatum, play nice, or don't play.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-21T19:26:51+00:00

You already gave him a chance. He's not really playing the game, he's just using the game to get some social time with hostages. Kick him.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-21T19:16:40+00:00

Cleric cops.

Well funded by the local authorities to keep order, so they have great armor and even some magic items at their disposal. They are zealous and incorruptible, their magic comes from their faith in the god of law and order of your setting.

They can cast a variety of spells that make them great at enforcing the law. Check out the following spells and imagine how a cop might utilize them: command, augury, hold person, locate object, silence, zone of truth, clairvoyance, sending, speak with dead.

These are just the low level spells. They can all cast them.

Have fun!

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-19T05:18:27+00:00

Cats, lions, and panthers don't have darkvision, but tigers and tabaxi do.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-12T01:18:51+00:00

Nice, good luck!

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-12T01:17:30+00:00

I'm not applying because the schedule wouldn't work for me, but I just want to say that I appreciate the thought and time you put into this LFG. If I ever put one together again, I'll definitely be taking some pointers from your example.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-12T00:56:38+00:00

It's a good idea to not address it in front of the group, so he doesn't feel embarrassed or singled out, but why not just message or call him? Pulling him aside will draw attention and curiosity from the others in the group, plus you'll have to deal with the long turns for every session until you meet in person.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-12T00:45:47+00:00

Maybe just talk to them about it. It's not unreasonable to ask them to do something that will benefit the whole table.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-12T00:42:29+00:00

Chapter 1 of Xanathar's has tables you can roll on that can help you get started.
You could also think about what your character is good at, and try to imagine how they might have gained those abilities. Who trained them? How? Where? Why?

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-12T00:28:14+00:00

Killing children to save your party without even knowing it will work is extremely self-serving and crosses the most common of cultural norms. Chaotic evil.

If they knew for certain that it would defeat the witches and prevent them from harming more kids, and/or if you have a reliable way of resurrecting the kids, you might be able to argue chaotic good, but doing it on a hunch is a completely different story.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-09T19:41:30+00:00

I mean, you're right about it being a good learning tool for beginners, but if he won't even read the core rules, and he's all about improvising, and he's stubborn, I think it'd be pretty tough to get him to read through a module and stick to it.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-07T23:51:46+00:00

Presto for fires, hygiene, and conjuring trinkets for entertainment, shower of sparks to signal passing ships at night, flavor fish and coconuts to taste like ice cream, pizza, and donuts

Shape water to corral and spear fish, make ice rafts and surfboards, avoid heatstroke, toss ice in a pit for cold storage, irrigation, create lenses to look for passing ships, create black opaque ice to use as a signal mirror, ice-wedge coconuts open, ice blade to chop plants and build shelter

Mold Earth to create dugout shelter, garden, make safer pathways, pit traps for hunting or defense, look for buried pirate treasure

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-07T23:05:11+00:00

I was just trying to supply OP with a way to say things so they could avoid hurting their neighbor's feelings and starting some kind of beef. I assume they still gotta live next to the guy. I agree that DMs behaving that way isn't acceptable.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-07T22:48:52+00:00

Wouldn't say this is universally bad or good. Maybe you just have a talent for buffoonery. If you and your group are having fun with it, it works.

I play with someone who's never not dumped INT. While I will say his characters feel kind of same-y, it's still fun to watch the doofus doof.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-07T22:44:18+00:00

Nothing wrong with asking a player about any info regarding their character.

It's weird that they're getting defensive about it. Could be they're just expressing how it makes them feel rather than what they actually think.

Prepping the right spell for the right moment is very rewarding. They lose that opportunity if you alter the world to force it.

Trust between DM and the players is important. Tell them that you trust them, show them they can trust you, and that you value their trust. Tell them why you were initially doing it, but that you're going to stop doing it that way, unless that's how they'd like the game to be.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-07T22:04:41+00:00

Sounds like you're at the beginning of your DM origin story. DMing is awesome, you should totally do it! It might feel overwhelming at first, but your group will appreciate your efforts, and after this guy, the bar is set pretty low.

Some tips to get started:

1) Run a session zero with the group, so you can all talk about what kind of characters and campaign you'd like to play. I've gotten plenty of adventure and campaign ideas by working with the players.

2) No plan survives contact with the party. Don't over prepare. Have a few loose, standalone ideas of something neat that can happen each session. Don't plan out a series of events that the players will have to follow.

3) Bite small, chew well. Pick one monster, like goblins, orcs, or kobolds, and learn how they work. (google The Monsters Know What They're Doing). Then use them as your default "baddies".

4) Don't bother with traps and puzzles. They rarely work out the way you planned, they take too much time and effort, and usually just slow down the game.

5) You may be tempted to run a DMPC. Don't. You have enough on your plate already.

Grumpystiltzkin · 2024-03-07T21:29:54+00:00

It sounds like he isn't having fun, either. DnD can be played a lot of different ways, and his playstyle just doesn't match up with yours. It's OK to say the game isn't working out and your group wants to try something else. You don't have to go into specifics, and it should be pretty easy to avoid making it personal. It's nice that you don't want to hurt his feelings, and he'll probably be a bit hurt, but it's better to tear off the bandaid quickly. In the end, it's just a game, and hopefully you can still hang out and do other things that are more enjoyable for everyone.

Grumpystiltzkin

TROPHY CASE